


Who Will Win A Night With Supergirl?

by YesBothWays



Category: Supergirl (TV 2015)
Genre: F/F, Feminist Themes, Femslash, First Time, Flying, Love, Solidarity
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-03-03
Updated: 2017-03-20
Packaged: 2018-09-28 01:29:36
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 11
Words: 48,460
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/10061816
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/YesBothWays/pseuds/YesBothWays
Summary: As Supergirl, Kara gets pressured into offering a date with Supergirl as a donated prize in a fundraising drive.  The outcome of the uncomfortable night at the auction starts a chain of events that brings drastic changes to Kara's love life.  Kara and the people she loves face many pressures and threats.  How will their love stand the constant test of the many trails they face and in the end bond them all even closer to render them all stronger together?*Recently added after requests:  Chapter 11:  Epilogue





	1. Who will win a night with Supergirl?

            Kara made a valiant effort to convince herself that she was not at all miserable about where she was going even as she located the elaborate dome of the venue and floated down beside the rented red carpet and valet parking. She was dressed as Supergirl and ready to appear as tonight’s special guest at the biggest fundraising event of the year in National City. She paused to meet two of the valets and waited with them to meet a third who returned. They were donating their time and being treated with the disregard of unseen support staff, so she made sure to thank each of them. That way, at least they could feel some degree of recognition during their evening. She was about to get far more recognition than she was wanting, and she got a deep breath into her lungs before pushing her way through the doors and making her entrance.

            A clutter of journalists gravitated towards Kara even as she entered. She spotted Carolyn Reyes and made a beeline towards her. Everyone kept back, and Kara made certain that her surprise at this did not show. She had a way of commanding respect as Supergirl, and even hard-nosed, pushy journalists would often give her space if she projected the right physicality. Ms. Reyes led the beneficiary of this event, the Unchained Foundation, a major player in anti-human trafficking work, which had recently relocated its headquarters to National City. The two of them had met two weeks before, when the UF had explicitly added alien trafficking to its mission in a widely publicized event. Ms. Reyes caught sight of Kara and made a beautiful smile.

            “Supergirl!” Ms. Reyes said, as she reached to take her hand.

            She held onto Kara’s hand as the two of them said hello. A lot of people became weird when it came to touching Supergirl, perhaps wondering how they would be sized up by their handshake or having some anxiety over alien biology. Ms. Reyes had gone from being guarded with Kara to entirely open with her in the span of a single meeting. She offered her a rich welcome now, and she introduced Kara to her sister and her sister’s husband. Kara asked after the rest of their family that she knew still lived in France and Nigeria. Their welcome and conversation made Kara forget how uncomfortable she was being in the room for several minutes.

            Then she heard from across the room that Casey Warren had spotted her. She felt her spine stiffen, as he broke off his conversation and crossed the room. He stood behind her for several, long seconds, before everyone’s attention came to him. Kara turned around. She let him shake her hand, and she tried not to smile at how hard he made his grip. Still, she could not quite find it within herself to quell the urge to let herself slowly increase the pressure of her grip to a firmer squeeze until she had taken the grin right off his face and he retracted his hand from hers first.

            “The main event!” Casey said and clapped her on the shoulder.

            Kara grinned and then felt her jaw grip. She and Mr. Warren had first met at the last UF event. Mr. Warren had retired from the NFL some years before and established himself as the foremost sports announcer in National City. This year, he had taken it upon himself to boost this annual fundraising drive to new heights with constant, free press and by bringing in astonishing donations for the top prizes. He had even secured this extravagant venue. The drive ran on bids, and nearly eighty prizes were up for bid that night. To make the event possible and lucrative, the auctioneers would offer the prizes in groups of five at once, and the five highest bidders would all settle into a place on a display board to claim one of the cluster of prizes. The model had allowed them to raise more than $400,000 the last year. Mr. Warren wanted to double that this year.

            Kara was still not quite sure how he had managed to get her to agree on camera to donate a date with Supergirl as one of the prizes for the evening. Somehow, she had not understood then that the prize would be boasted on air everyday for two weeks. Still, she had regretted it even as she nodded, especially when he reached out to shake her hand in front of the cameras to lock in the deal. Over the DEO comm she was wearing at the event, Winn had remarked that Supergirl had just been bamboozled. Alex piped in to say to back off and let Supergirl make her own decisions. From her tone, Kara knew that she had, in fact, just been bamboozled in front of everyone. J’onn’s silence over the comm further instilled the fact. She had tried to play it off and remain a good sport for the sake of the UF.

            “Are any of your people here, Ms. Reyes? I’d love to meet some more of them. Anyone who organized the event or solicited the lesser known prize donations?” Kara asked.

            That got her taken away to talk to a handful of sweet people working for UF who Mr. Warren did not care about and so left him behind. As she was meeting people, across the room, Kara spotted Lena Luthor. Lena waved swiftly in her direction and went back to listening intently to the woman who was standing with her. When Kara made her farewell with a swift and highly photographed first hug with Ms. Reyes for the evening, she cut a line across the room to come to Lena, anchored by finding a friend.

            “Fancy meeting you here!” Kara said.

            She felt a little duplicitous and a twinge of coyness peaked in her chest, as Lena had asked her to this event as Kara Danvers several weeks ago. She had been obligated to decline the offer after originally accepting once she had gotten herself tangled up in this mess as Supergirl. Lena believed that Kara was off on CatCo business at this very moment.

            “Likewise!” Lena said.         

            “I didn’t see you before. Did you just get here?” Kara said.

            “No, I saw when you came in. I didn’t want to interrupt when you were talking to Ms. Reyes. You two are kindred spirits,” Lena said.

            “You should have!” Kara said.

            Lena smiled. Kara felt far more relaxed just standing near her. Lena seemed about as easygoing in this crowded, fancy room as Kara had ever seen her. She had weathered far worse, Kara estimated.

            “So have you been to one of these before?” Kara asked.

            “Four, actually,” Lena said. “UF is one of my favorite foundations.”

            “How’d you find out about them?” Kara said.

            “Oh, you know,” Lena said with a wave of her hand, and Kara kept looking at her and waiting for more. “The worst experiences in my life were all tied to losing my parents. When you look into commonplace issues among orphans, human trafficking comes up.”

            Mr. Warren took the mic, and the room quieted. He was to give a summary of the prizes. Then folks would have time to collect their thoughts about their bids. He started at the bottom of the list and went up. Lena and Kara kept their voices low, as they turned and spoke more.

            “I have to say that I’m surprised at the turnout. I think your involvement allowed them to draw quite the rare and distinguished crowd. This should go very well as far as the fundraising goes,” Lena said.

            “People often care more than they let on,” Kara said.

            “You’re our resident heroic optimist,” Lena said, “So I won’t offer you any of my salt as a jaded insider. Some of my least favorite people in this city are standing front-and-center. I suppose as long as they came ready to shell out cash, they are more than welcome. Though, I honestly don’t like to think whose company you’ll be forced to keep after tonight. Obviously, I am thrilled to have you here. Though I’m not quite sure how you let yourself get roped into this.”

            “They offer nights out with celebrities every year, right? It’s not just a me thing,” Kara said.

            “Yes, they always have at least one. Honestly, I hate the idea. I know it’s supposed to be light and humorous. It runs counter to the whole spirit of the organization if you ask me. Someone has asked me to offer a date every year for the past three years, and I’ve said no and not to ask me again. I’m not like you – not above all this silliness,” Lena said.

            “It’s just dinner, right,” Kara said with a forced shrug.

            Mr. Warren had gotten to the last handful of prizes. He announced the top prize of the evening, a night out on a date with Supergirl. The prize came in the form of a ten-course meal each with a suitable wine pairing for two people at a restaurant called Blue Mist. Kara did her best not to react when she heard that. Blue Mist was a recently opened five star restaurant that had received enormous press. They were rated the “Most Romantic” venue in the city. Their entire menu centered on aphrodisiacs. A five-course meal there cost more than $500 per person. When he finished, the room clapped and a few men let out whistles. He left the crowd to consider their bids.

            “Wow,” Lena said.

            Lena turned back to Kara, clearly astonished. Kara had grown almost completely distracted. She was trying not to use her powers to overhear the men standing near the stage, but flickers of their conversation were coming in regardless of her efforts at focus. She found herself fighting blushing.

            “Yeah,” Kara managed to say. “Spendy. I wonder how he got the donation.”

            “I don’t really like to think,” Lena said.

            Another familiar voice caught Kara’s ear. She turned to see James Olsen coming into the room. He was shaking hands with a couple of familiar people. He made a nod at Kara to acknowledge her without being too obvious that they were close friends. Kara kept an eye on James until she could run into him. She made a quick goodbye to Lena, who was already being dragged off into another conversation.

            James broke free from a second run in with someone he recognized mutually. He nodded towards the tables of food in the back of the room. Kara went to the other side of the food table across from James. She found herself conflicted. There would surely be dozens of photos of her eating and jokes about her super-appetite if she ate at this event. She gathered a few things onto her plate.

            “How did I get myself into this?” Kara asked James across the table, through gritted teeth made to appear as a grin.

            “Just keep breathing deeply and remember, you could fling literally any person in this room straight up and into deep space if you were determined. This nightmare has a run time of two hours tops. We are now… forty-six minutes in,” James said with a hard look at his watch.

            “I’ll have a highly publicized date to manage on my own later. They’ll be snapping picture of me eating raw oysters and chocolate covered strawberries across from… who knows who,” Kara said.

            “We’ll all crash the restaurant in secret and run interference – make it an adapted game night,” James said.

            “It’s at Blue Mist,” Kara said.

            James made a face that conceded to the fact that none of them could afford to crash the restaurant in that case, much less all of them.

            “We will just have to… stage a call for you to come and save a burning children’s hospital or something along those lines. I’d commit arson to keep you away from Jim Schiller, the banker from US Prize, I promise you that. Although I’d probably be saving his life, and that’s… well, that is decidedly a moral ambiguity,” James said.  

            “Have I told you recently how much you mean to me?” Kara asked.

            “Yeah, you have. You’re great about all that stuff. But I could always use hearing it more. And just as a reminder, you mean the world to me and probably half the people in this room, however degrading Warren’s circus turns out to be,” James said.

            “It’s not the same with other people. You’re always looking out for me,” Kara said.

            “I always try to remain a brother,” James said.

            With those words, James stood up straight. He was satisfied with his filled plate and lost his excuse to linger. He gave Kara a wink and a generous smile before walking away. James had made Kara feel comfortable and even smile quite genuinely when she was still bristling with discomfort. She took a deep breath and gathered her own pile of food, determined now to eat enough despite all the press, consequences be damned.

            Kara stood with a wide stance and ate with great stoicism, as the bidding for the night ran its course. The collective total reached $280,000. They were hoping to top the $400,000 mark with the last five, hottest prizes. From the buzz in the room, they were likely to manage this. James was standing nearby, and when it was time for her to go up, he came and took Kara’s all-but-emptied plate from her hand. She went up onto the stage and stood behind the auctioneer with the folks holding the other four, red prize envelopes. For whatever reason, the auctioneer kept the one associated with the date with her under his hands at the podium. She made herself grin with as much authenticity as she could muster. She nearly flagged when the auctioneer implied that she should be proud to be weighted against the other prizes that included a seat in the owner’s booth during the next Patriot’s game, autographs from the entire National City hockey team, three days at an exclusive spa in Fiji with a private beach, and a diamond pendant set by a famous jeweler in the 1950’s.

            The bidding started at $10,000 and bids rang out all over the room. As the amounts rose, most of the bidding died out. Focus settled onto competition for the top prize. Three men in particular began to one-up each other. From the auctioneer’s announcements, Kara gathered that one was the owner-founder of a sportswear company. Another was some kind of investor. The two of them seemed to know one another. From the way they bantered, Kara could decipher whether they were rivals or friends.

            An older man with a rather pinched expression and an somewhat unfortunate toupee would interrupt their bidding on occasion. He told the room he was bidding for his son, a Lieutenant Colonel and a war hero who was overseas and booked to return on leave in three days. The audience seemed to take him up as their favorite. A handful of people started to pool money to keep him bidding against the other two men.

            The amounts rose so high that the auctioneer paused the bidding. He made sure that bidders understood that way the auction tonight worked. The five highest bidders were bidding on the five prizes currently on the board. He gave the bidders a long moment to reconsider their bids. The pause only rejuvenated the conflict.

            Kara could only stand back and listen in astonishment as the top bids rose. The man bidding for his son relented near $100,000. The other two men were certainly focused on one-upping each other as much as anything. They started to really argue about who was a more suitable match for Supergirl, heckling each other openly in the room. The auctioneer did not know how to respond to this. He would pause and proceed as best he could. Their two bids rose all the way up over $200,000. Finally, one of the two broke and intended to the let the other have the win. Their bids sat at $250,000 and $225,000 concurrently. The auctioneer was ready to close the bidding.          

            In the profound stillness, Lena Luthor lifted her arm into the air and raised two fingers.

            “A half a million dollars,” Lena called up to the auctioneer.

            A murmur rose in the room. Many people shushed each other. The auctioneer appeared ready to lose his calm after all. He covered the mic with his hand a moment and held his composure.

            “That is Miss Lena Luthor on the floor, ladies and gentlemen. We have a new bidder entering here near the end. Can I just confirm with you, Miss Luthor, you’d like to place a bid and – was that sum $500,000? Did I understand you right?”

            Lena smiled and turned her face down as she gave him a sharp salute with two fingers to confirm. One man in the back of the room broke out laughing, and Lena turned over her shoulder to grin at him. They appeared to be strangers, and Kara had no idea what they were laughing about that no one else got. She heard one of the young women Ms. Reyes had introduced her also giggling into the sleeve of her blazer near the stage. Lena turned her face up and made her a nod, as well.

            The auctioneer ran down a thorough search for final bids. Then he closed the bidding. All the room gave voice at once to their astonishment. Kara felt remarkably relieved. She could not even hide the tension held in her shoulders and stood with her arms crossed in front of her. This was maybe a little weird to be set up for a date with her friend incognito, but this amount of awkward felt entirely reasonable compared to how things were going before. She might even have a good time out that night.  

            The crowd in the room rose up what became a thunderous applause. The other bidders went up to receive their prizes, while Lena held back. Reporters were already dodging in to ask Lena whether she had bid for herself or for someone else. The room practically collectively parted to send Lena up to the stage. And she walked as casually as she might have on a stroll through Central Park. She waited patiently and carefully took the envelope that held the prize from the auctioneer’s hand in both of her own. Then Lena crossed in front of him and in front of the mic. She approached Kara there on the stage right in front of everyone.

            With their sides to the audience, so they could see clearly, Lena handed Kara the envelope with the prize that she had just purchased. She simply smiled after Kara took it. Then Lena walked off the stage and back out into the crowd. Kara stood holding the red envelope, uncertain for a moment of what had just happened. Another round of applause filled the room, and Kara realized that Lena had relinquished the prize into her own possession. Mr. Warren came onto the stage to make closing comments.

            “Ladies and gentlemen,” he began, “I believe – we’ll have the figures in a moment – but I believe that we have just raised well over a million dollars for the Unchained Foundation here tonight.”

            Kara saw her opening and stepped down off the stage. She could barely hear the announcements. James was standing beside her grinning. The room was busy clapping for an incredibly long time. He leaned in closer to Kara to speak.

            “That was amazing! She just snatched all the headlines!” James said in a calm voice, knowing that Kara could pick out his voice amidst the uproar.

            Lena brushed off a number of eager reporters to approach James Olsen specifically. She gave him a knowing look, and he left Kara’s side to go and meet her. Lena gave Kara one last smile, before she became focused on James. Kara realized that Lena planned to give CatCo the exclusive, no doubt in honor of her friend Kara Danvers, who could not be there that night, and their former coverage. Lena ended up taking James’s arm, and the two of them left the room talking and smiling.

            As they made their exit, Kara realized she was staring after them along with a room full of covetous journalists. Then the remaining press reps were crowding in around her. Kara realized slowly that her only two friends at the event had both just left the room. She dodged their questions about her relationship to Lena, what she thought was meant by the gesture, and who she planned to take out on her romantic dinner. Kara managed to keep her poise for a solid few minutes and then, miraculously, to brush the press off, since they were all of them a little thrown by the turn of events.

            Kara might have ended up drowning in a sea of social discomfort, except that her phone buzzed. It was James asking if she needed a rescue. She texted a simple _idk yet_ back to him _._ Not fifteen minutes after, she got a call from Winn. He said that James had texted that she could use a bail out and that he had something she was going to love. So she was able to speed off on official DEO business. Indeed, she had never been happier to receive a call about an armed group including a rogue alien trying to break into a secure building downtown in all in her life.

            As Kara rose into the air and left the dome and the noise of the event beneath and behind her, she realized that she was actually free. Lena had both won and then handed over the prize to her. She did not owe a date to anyone. She was not even certain how to process her gratitude about the turn in events just yet, though she did let herself turn a few swirls in the air in inarticulate, potent, and simple celebration.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> In chapter 2: 
> 
> Supergirl has an open date planned. Who will capture Supergirl's interest? 
> 
> James releases an interview with Lena that explains why she chose to hand over the prized date night to Supergirl. Supergirl goes to thank Lena. Lena disagrees on how she should thank her properly.


	2. Who will capture Supergirl’s interest?

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Kara reads James's article and goes as Supergirl to thank Lena.

            On Monday, Kara came in early, got a copy of the new issue of CatCo, and brought it to her desk. A picture of Lena Luthor handing Supergirl the red prize envelope filled the front page. They both appeared so confident on the stage that the entire scenario might have been decided on beforehand. That was practically a miracle on Kara’s part, since she had felt fairly miserable. She imagined that James had chosen his photo very carefully. She sat eating a box of a dozen assorted doughnuts and drinking an enormous breve, as she read James article.

            After the introduction, James had chosen to do the write up as an interview with Lena that read:

 

_CC: So tell us why you decided to hand over your $500,000 prize to Supergirl?_

_LL: Superhuman or not, Supergirl is still a woman, and I did not like the idea of a woman not having ownership over herself, even for one part of one night. The people in this city, we’ve already seen that Supergirl would give her life for us. Do we really need to be asking her to offer entrance into her personal life or a some rare, fleeting chance to become a love interest of hers in order to motivate us to do some good in this world? That feels coercive to me even asking her, given that she’s already shown that she’ll put her life and her body on the line to help people every time the chance arises. During a night of generosity that centered on Supergirl’s generosity, I made the most suitable responding gesture I could._

_I don’t want my decision to be misconstrued to mean that I am speaking poorly of the Unchained Foundation in any way. I believe so strongly in their work and in the integrity of their good intentions. I think the event just got out of hand and someone needed to find a way to reel it back in. Tonight, that happened to be me. Handing the prize over to the only person who actually deserves to own it was meant to be in the spirit of the foundation itself. They stand against the ownership of persons, and I see that as standing against social and cultural politics and the status quos in a racist and sexist culture, as well – against anything that even subtly undermines the intrinsic worth and the right of every person, human being and alien heritage alike, to self-ownership._

_CC: So did you have this planned when you walked into the room tonight?_

_LL: (laughter) No. I was not planning on bidding tonight at all. I talked to Supergirl briefly during the evening, and I got the impression – just the subtlest vibe off of her, mind you – that she was not entirely comfortable with what was going on. Since I have strong commitments to opposing sexism and believe that we do live in a rape culture, I think it is always important for women to notice when they don’t feel good about a situation and also when another woman seems uncomfortable and pressured into going along with something. Call me sensitive. But I have very low bullshit tolerance for these things. I think they’re toxic._

_Once the bidding really got going, it seemed like a complete spectacle like this rare and unobtainable prize was being offered and on the table for only one night. Supergirl would protect any of us. I liked to think that any of us would protect her, even if it only in comparatively small ways. So I felt moved to intervene.  That’s something you understand in the media world, right, controlling the narrative? I had been planning to make an anonymous donation that night, as I have in years prior. And this year, I planned on making a much larger contribution both in honor of the addition of aliens to their mission and simply to enable UF to get quickly and permanently established in that work. Supergirl has saved my life more than once, as anyone who has seen the press knows. And I had been looking for some way to honor that. I guess I out-ed myself. But this way, I get to kill two birds with one stone._

_CC: Sisterhood is still alive and well in National City. So speaking of being out…_

_LL: (laughter) Oh, my…_

_CC: (laughter) Sorry for that unfortunate lead in! You are an outspoken member of the LGBTQAI+ community. It’s honestly hard to believe a queer woman would turn down a date with Supergirl._

_LL: I did not turn down a date. I was never asked on one. Believe me, if Supergirl ever asked me out, I can assure you I would by no means decline. I mean, I am human._

_CC: Maybe she will be asking you to dinner soon…_

_LL: (laughter) Dare to dream! I just hope that whomever she takes out ends up deserving of her if she does decide to keep them around. She has such a generous and loving spirit. I think I speak for everyone when I say that I wish her all the happiness that life and love can afford._

_CC: We’re certainly with you here at CatCo!_

_LL: I’m glad to be among good company!_

 

            Kara took a napkin from her desk, picked a doughnut, and made her way to James’s office. He was always early. He had his back turned to the door and was looking at slides in the light. He turned over his shoulder to see her and grinned.

            “Hey!” James said.

            “Doughnut time,” Kara said.

            “Great!” James said. “I still have to order up some real food.”

            “Count me in,” Kara said. “I love your article.”

            “Yeah? Thanks!” James said.

            “James, you said that Lena Luthor is out as gay?” Kara said.

            “Not – not necessarily gay, no. I tried to say it right. She’s out as being a part of the LGBTQ community, but she has never been more specific. She has dated women openly, though, and no men so far. She dated an astronaut,” James said.

            “Woah,” Kara said.

            “Yeah,” James said. “Thank God she handed over the date with Supergirl. Otherwise, the media would have all been simultaneously discovering the same dumb jokes about her sexual orientation pointing towards space and the protocol for getting an S added to the acronym. None of us should have to live to witness that kind of straight-and-not-trying nonsense.”

            Kara laughed hard at all of this. As absurd as that sounded, James was probably right. He took a bite of his doughnut, leaning over his desk to protect his shirt and tie.

            “How did you find out?” Kara said.

            “Just researching a bunch of old media coverage on Lena going back a few years,” James said.

            “Oh, yeah,” Kara said.

            Kara had belligerently refused to research past media coverage of Lena. She figured it should all be considered slanted. She wrote her article on Lena based on what she knew of her in the present and that kept the lens and focus sharp.

            “So you two don’t talk about personal stuff?” James said.

            “No, we do,” Kara said. “I guess we have just never talked about romantic relationships before. We tend to talk about family stuff.”

            “Yeah, I can see how that’d be a mood killer in her case,” James said.

            “That’s a good point,” Kara said.

            “What are you thinking? Are you thinking maybe she likes you?” James asked.

            Kara did not get what he meant. Then she felt a heat under the collar of her sweater. She became decidedly stiff and awkward.

            “What do you mean?” Kara said.

            “Lena,” James said. “You seem surprised to find out she likes ladies. Are you thinking she might like you, and you hadn’t caught on before?”

            Kara stood up. She tried to find a reason to go to her office. She was not sure what to say to James.

            “That’s a – I don’t think that’s a thing,” Kara said.

            “Okay,” James said. “I didn’t mean to make you uncomfortable, Kara. Lena’s been out to the press since she was maybe twenty. I figure she imagines that you know.”

            “Just because she likes _some_ ladies, doesn’t mean she likes me,” Kara said.

            “Yeah, I get that. I like ladies, too. You included,” James said.

            Now Kara was blushing and also smiling. She found herself pressing at her glasses. James stood laughing at her softly. She still got flutters in her stomach whenever James commented on being attracted to her. Even his weakest flirtations could send her stumbling out of a room.

            “You’re really messing with me this morning,” Kara said.

            “I’m not trying, I promise,” James said. “It’s just that sometimes, Kara, you don’t catch onto these things very quickly. You are faster the rest of us and more instinctive in regards to practically everything else. This is like your Achilles heel. I’m trying to look out for you, you know how it is.”

            “Yeah, thanks, boss,” Kara said to get back a James a little bit.

            “Never call me that,” James said with a stoic shake of his head.

            Kara laughed.

            “Thanks, James,” Kara said in apology.

            He smiled then. She made her way calmly to the door. James started to turn back to his work. As she slipped out his door, James added one last thing.

            “And, Kara, you were right about your girl. She’s great. I’m won over entirely after last night,” James said.

            “Yeah!” Kara said. “I mean, I was already won over a long time ago. But, yeah!”

            James only laughed. Kara slipped out and made her way back to her office. She felt a little giddy after their conversation, maybe still full of energy from the night before. She corrected her glasses, ran her hands down the front and along the edge of her sweater, and tried to focus on her work for the remainder of the day.

 

            That same evening, after sorting out a nice handful of emergencies and crimes around the city, Kara flew circles over the city until she made up her mind, then she touched down softly on Lena’s balcony. Inside, Lena had her hands folded over her head and sat staring at her laptop screen. Kara made the softest tap with her knuckles on the glass door that she could manage, worried over potentially startling Lena. Lena turned around at the sound and seemed fully aware of what the sound was when she heard it. She came to the door already smiling at Kara through the glass.

            “Coming inside, hero girl?” Lena said.

            Kara laughed at the playful nickname. She could not remember Lena ever teasing her. She had such a light and gentle tone when she did that Kara enjoyed even this simple quip enormously. She felt like they were becoming real friends.

            “I am here to say thank you,” Kara said.

            “Don’t mention it,” Lena said with a wave of her hand.

            Lena stood with the door held open a little. Kara nearly laughed at her own strong and proud stance. She loosened up and came inside, and when she brushed passed Lena, she actually felt herself swallow hard and realized she was maybe a little nervous. When she turned around, Lena allowed the door to close. Lena looked a little tired but quite easygoing. Here thoughts were still moving over something, Kara could see.

            “Working late?” Kara asked.

            “Not work exactly,” Lena said.

            “Online dating?” Kara joked.

            “Haha,” Lena said dryly.

            “What are you up to? If you want to tell me, I mean,” Kara said with genuine curiosity.

            “I am actually trying to craft a response to a group who has claimed that my decision at the UF fundraiser represents a feminist stance opposed to all forms of sex work. I’m trying to find a tactful way to tell them not to attach my name to anything they believe. I’m just never very good at talking about this issue, specifically. I’ve got PR people who are skilled at taking control the narrative, but I don’t want to outsource this, honestly. This will get personal very quickly,” Lena said.

            “I read your CatCo interview,” Kara said.

            Lena smiled over at Kara. She had leaned against her desk and folded her arms. She stood looking down at the floor. She remained quiet and seemed thoughtful. Kara went on after collecting her own thoughts.

            “I wanted to say thank you actually on a couple of levels. First off, thanks for just the sisterhood. I don’t think that anyone who – I don’t think that most people could have seen me as a real person with any actual vulnerabilities last night. I was trying to project all this strength, you know. And you saw through that to how I was really feeling in that situation. That just – that meant a lot to me, personally. I don’t think anyone has ever done anything like that for me before.

            “Also, I wanted to say, thanks for taking control of the whole situation and making it into what you did. I made a mistake, I think, when I agreed to donate a date. I was honestly thinking that whoever would be that generous should be seen as worth going out with in the moment. That’s sort of backwards. If Supergirl gives up even a little bit of sexual autonomy, even for a good reason, that’s probably just not a good thing for the world of women who are watching. Like, it will appear like a joke when it happens in regards to me. No one will take that seriously. It’ll seem like a harmless game. But when women and people who identify with Supergirl see that stuff, they see themselves. That loss and my complicity in giving it up, that will represent exchanges that may have much higher stakes in their lives. I lost sight of that.”

            “You’re a bit hard on yourself, don’t you think? You don’t work in media – you appear in it. You’ve got your own job to focus on. You need good people in media behind you. If Cat Grant still ran things in this city, this would not have happened,” Lena said.

            “I have to think about these things,” Kara said. “I have to take responsibility for being larger than life. I’ve got strong shoulders. I can handle the weight.”

            Lena laughed. She bit her lip and looked down in thoughtful consideration. Her eyes were soft when they came back to Kara’s face.  

            “Well, I’m honored by your gratitude on both fronts,” Lena said. “I’m glad I got a chance at some further reciprocity with you. I hope this exchange keeps up.”

            “I’m certain it will,” Kara said.

            The two of them were quiet for a minute. Lena rubbed the back of her neck. She seemed to be thinking.

            “Should you be off to meet tonight’s hero-ing?” Lena said.

            “Once I’m finished thanking one of my own heroes of late,” Kara said with a nod.

            Lena smiled once more. Lena had clearly meant her statement half in jest, but Kara recognized that Lena was also giving her an opening. Given how many abrupt, rough departures she had to make in her life, she appreciated the gesture. She stood considering Lena, quieted by the deep affection she felt for her.

            On a whim, Kara came over to offer Lena a hug. Lena titled her head in surprise at first and grinned before she stood up from the desk. She gave Kara a hug and let her hand remain on Kara’s shoulder when they stepped back. Lena was certainly not reluctant to touch Supergirl, Kara could feel. Whatever fear of aliens she had harbored when they met was gone now.

            “I’ll see you off,” Lena said in a kind and almost humorous gesture.

            Kara went to the balcony door. Lena followed softly after her. Out in the night air, Kara started to get her body poised for a gentle liftoff. She caught herself.    

            “Wait, I – I also wanted to ask you to dinner,” Kara said.

            The look of astonishment that came over Lena’s face took Kara by surprise. Lena’s expression remained profoundly unreadable. She seemed to be thinking quickly and unable to respond at first.  

            “If you don’t mind swarms of paparazzi,” Kara said.

            At that, Lena appeared to relax only a little. Still, not even a flicker of emotion came over Lena’s expression. She waved her hand in a kind of light dismissal.

            “I don’t think that would send quite the right message,” Lena said.

            “You don’t?” Kara said in genuine surprise, and then she got really embarrassed all at once. “Oh, gosh, I mean, I don’t want to stage some Supergirl queerbaiting.”

            Lena laughed openly at that idea. She stood grinning at Kara. She seemed to almost enjoy seeing Supergirl thrown off her game in a way that made Kara smile and not feel self-conscious.

            “Well, you are a non-gender conforming woman who has superpowers and continues to change the world,” Lena said. “You’re going to become an icon for some of the queer community whether you like it or not. They’re in a similar business.”

            “I don’t mind,” Kara said and could not really say what she meant. “I’m proud to be inspiring to everyone. Only more so the more marginalized the community happens to be. I don’t want to overstep and misrepresent, though.”

            “I was honestly thinking more in terms of what I had meant by the gesture. If you turn around and invite me out, then it all looks like some play to win your heart on my part. It might kind of reinforce that idea that being nice and respectful to women is nothing more a good strategy for getting close to them or getting in their pants. You should claim the gift as your own, apart from me, I’m certain,” Lena said.

            “You’ve really thought this stuff through,” Kara said.

            “That’s what comes of being involved with and outright pursuing ladies, I guess. At least, that’s how it has been for me. I harbored a lot of genuine worries about being an evil person out to get weaker people for a good long while there. I’m sensitive about power dynamics,” Lena said.

            “Well, you have been decidedly a force for good in my life,” Kara said.

            Lena smiled. She stood quiet and expecting Kara to go. Kara troubled a little over the declined offer.

            “I’ll ask you to something with less pressure involved whenever I finally think of something I do that doesn’t involved punching anyone,” Kara said.

            “That would be lovely, and you can rest assured that I will readily accept. Even if it might involve some punching, count me in. Maybe the next time there’s a relevant policy being announced,” Lena said.

            “It’s a date,” Kara joked kindly.

            Lena grinned at this. She looked down at the floor of the balcony. The door was propped open and resting against her back, and she leaned her head back into it. Kara spent a moment considering her out in the moonlight, studying the lines of her shape and beyond that who she was, her spirit, the way she felt.

            “Goodnight then, hero!” Kara said.

            “Goodnight, hero girl,” Lena said.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> In chapter 3: Press heats up over Supergirl's pending date night. Pressure builds on Kara to decide. Who will Supergirl choose for a night on the town?


	3. Who will Supergirl choose for a night on the town?

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Pressure builds surrounding Supergirl's impending date night. Kara finally cracks under the stress alone with Alex. Surely someone in the Supergirl universe will know what Kara should do.

            Kara did not realize until the next day that the tickets to Blue Mist were specifically for that Friday evening. She had never opened the envelope and left it folded and stuffed into a pocket of her Supergirl suit. She discovered this news thanks to the amount of building press focused on the event. The chef at Blue Mist amped up the coverage by revealing some of their kitchen secrets and talking at length about the special menu being prepared for that night. Kara finally understood how Mr. Warren got such a pricey donation – the free press. The restaurant was already seeing a trickle of paparazzi early in the week.

            Everyone wanted to know: Who would Supergirl choose? Many formed passionate and angry opinions about who she _should_ choose, and Kara saw herself shipped with everyone from celebrities to scientists to humanitarians to politicians. She noted a distinct lack of aliens in the mix. At least Lena’s name appeared often, but then she also saw Wonder Woman more than once. She was not quite sure on what level people were being serious.

            Kara found herself distracted all day at work. She went once to talk to James. He was astonished himself by the amount of media fanfare. He said it had gone into kind of frenzy and suggested that Kara call Clark to see if would come out for a family dinner. He thought they could pitch that story as something about roots or heritage, something about being Kryptonian. Kara felt uncomfortable with that on multiple levels. She never liked asking Kal-El to come and rescue her. She did not like dragging him away from Metropolis for something so silly as this, especially since his visit would be highly publicized. People would likely know he was away and might try to take advantage. And she thought the entire dinner was just too sexualized. Whoever she put in the seat across from her was marked as a love interest. She would have felt awkward inviting Alex or even one of her friends, even if she could. Maybe James would have been all right. Still, she would not have liked to put him through the media frenzy. She actually thought about asking Lena again to see if she might change her mind.

            Alex came over that night. Tuesday had become their semi-official Danvers sisters night. Kara knew that she did not have long with them talking about the DEO, Maggie, and their friends, before the dinner would come up. As she stood making them hot chocolate on the stove, she felt a heat moving over her chest and up her neck. She found herself growing stiff and embarrassed, like everything she had held in during the day would come tumbling out here at home with only Alex to witness her now.

            “Hey, did you figure out who you want to take to dinner on Friday night?” Alex asked.

            Kara shot her a look. She couldn’t help it. Alex had her hand stretched out on the table. She was obviously being very casual about all this. And she caught on at once that Kara did not feel the same way.

            “You’re stressing over it?” Alex said.

            “Yeah, I am,” Kara said. “I don’t know who I can take.”

            “ _Anyone_ would go with you,” Alex said.

            “That is not helpful, Alex,” Kara said.

            “Who would you want to take? Make this light. How about taking the opportunity to ask out Justin Timberlake?” Alex said.

            “Alex, come on,” Kara said.

            “What? Why not choose a silly crush? You’re not going as Kara Danvers. You’re going as Supergirl. It’s not like this will turn into anything,” Alex said.

            “I don’t know if I have it in me to anyone out on a joke date. The separation between Kara Danvers and Supergirl might break down. I don’t want the world to see me blush and stammer and fail in my love life,” Kara said.

            “Oh, gosh, Kara,” Alex said.

            “I don’t know if I can live up a to a proper performance of Supergirl in this scenario,” Kara joked a little harshly.

            “You could – you could just not go, Kara,” Alex said.

            “Yeah,” Kara said. “That seems like such a waste.”

            “Come on,” Alex said with a laugh, “I can take you to Blue Mist. I’ll drag you there unsuspecting one night, and you won’t even have to dread it.”

            “No, I don’t mean the meal. I mean the press. There’s an opportunity in all of this notice. I just don’t know how to use it,” Kara said.

            “What about James? Or J’onn?” Alex said.

            “That’s not safe for either of them. I wish I could just take someone I love. I don’t know why this society has to be like this. There’s so much pressure on dating,” Kara said.

            “Even the girl of steel can’t handle it?” Alex said.

            Kara got mad at the joke, and Alex saw it. Alex stood up at once. Kara was shutting off the stove. With Kara’s back to her, Alex had not been able to follow how strongly she felt about this. Kara could feel tears forming in her eyes, but she was not sure whether they were from anger or sadness.

            “I’m sorry, Kara,” Alex said.

            Alex leaned into the counter. She reached to rub Kara’s arm. Kara wiped her eyes and took a deep breath.

            “I’m sorry. This is just _getting_ to me,” Kara said.

            “Yeah, I see that now. Sorry for making a joke,” Alex said.

            “It’s not you! It’s everyone! Everyone thinks this is a joke. ‘Supergirl is single!’ ‘Ladies and gentlemen, she’s up for grabs!’ Supergirl’s sexuality is this week’s money shot for every punch line. I am not in on this joke! And I completely let this happen!” Kara said.

            “I agree that this is just _way_ too much attention on your sexuality,” Alex said.

            Alex got Kara into a hug. Kara leaned her head into her sister’s shoulder. She was blushing terribly, and she felt like the cumulative discomfort of this entire situation finally became too much and overtook her.  

            “Let’s figure this out,” Alex said, “But first pizza and reruns. You need to inhabit a nonthreatening space for a _while_.”

            They took their hot chocolate to the couch and got pizzas ordered. Alex decided that they should watch something chill, and she put on _Legend of Korra_. That was one of their favorites, and the show gave a lot and took basically nothing from its viewers. After they got through most of season three and had plenty of pizza, Alex tried to talk to Kara a little again. She seemed determined to help Kara find a good answer.

            “Have you thought about asking Lena?” Alex said.

            “Yeah. I asked her. She declined. She thought the messages would get mixed up,” Kara said.

            “Because she’s not straight?” Alex said.

            “How so?” Kara said.

            “Like, the whole story of two rival houses uniting together over a cause would be lost in the media panic over Supergirl going on a date with a woman who really does date ladies?” Alex said.

            “I mean, that does sound true. She more thought it would kind of make it look like a reward or something, you know, for doing something she was trying to show should be just basic,” Kara said.

            “Yeah, that’s hard. Would you have been comfortable going with her?” Lena said.

            “I would basically kill to be able to go with her right now. She makes me comfortable even with the most stressful topics. I wish that I could take anyone I actually love,” Kara said.

            “Lena is already considered kind of iconic. People think she’s ‘outspoken’ or whatever, because she supports her own community politically even in public. I guess Supergirl would instantly become an LGBTQ icon by proxy,” Alex said.

            “I wouldn’t mind, except I would feel like I was maybe misrepresenting,” Kara said.

            “Unless you’re harboring some secret attraction to Lena Luthor,” Alex said with a huff of laughter.

            Kara’s expression hardened. She did not like that. Alex had clearly meant nothing by it.

            “I mean, Lena is the best. Who wouldn’t want to get with her? She’s brilliant. She’s beautiful. And she is brave and trustworthy,” Kara said.

            “Most people are scared to death of the Luthors,” Alex said.

            “That’s because they are prejudiced! Lena has proven who she really is several times over,” Kara said.

            “I’m on your side on this! I wish she was your date,” Alex said.

            “Yeah,” Kara said.

            “Though maybe she would not want to risk forming an unreciprocated crush on Supergirl,” Alex said in a soft joke.

            “That’s dumb. And also, that’s impossible. I already think she’s attractive,” Kara said.

            “I mean, I know you do, like, objectively,” Alex said.

            “I just do. Lena is the hottest. Not everyone is for everyone, but I respect her hotness on a personal level,” Kara said.

            “Wait a minute, Kara. Are you – you are telling me that you _are_ authentically attracted to Lena Luthor?” Alex said.

            “Yeah,” Kara said.

            “In – in that tone?” Alex said.

            “What?” Kara said defensively.

            “So you’re saying that you _are_ harboring a secret crush on Lena Luthor?” Alex said.

            “It is no secret how I feel about Lena Luthor! I have to argue about it all the time! And I do not have a crush! It’s just a basic attraction. Why are you making a big deal about this?” Kara said.

            “I mean, call me postmodern… but… is it not attraction that lets you know who you should try pursuing?” Alex asked.

            “You do not seriously want me to get with Lena Luthor?” Kara said.

            “Whoa. Easy there, Kara. I’m not telling you to hop right into bed with her. But if you like her, I think it matters, yeah,” Alex said.

            “I don’t think that it matters,” Kara said.

            “ _What?_ Why? She means a lot to you, right?” Alex said.

            “Of course, she does. I love our relationship. And it is fine as it is! You are the one who is making this into a _thing_! People have all kinds of attractions, all of the time. It’s not supposed to overturn their entire world every time,” Kara said.

            Kara had gotten mad. She was practically bristling. She had not even been able to look at Alex as she got all this out.

.          “Hey,” Alex said, holding out her hands in a gesture of peace, and then reaching to hold Kara’s arm and rub her back. “I am on your side, remember? What’s going on? Where’d you go?”

            Kara softened even though she still felt rattled. She did not like how this conversation was going. She felt herself tear up again, and that made her mad for some strange reason. Her body felt a bit shaky. She had felt halfway humiliated all day, and now she felt overwhelmed. She knew she was blushing, and even though Alex was the only one seeing it, she felt like she was losing at some game that someone else was playing at her expense.

            “I’m not trying to pressure you or anything. I definitely wasn’t trying to invade your privacy. I’m sorry. This silly date thing is really shaking you up,” Alex said.

            “They’ve managed to make this into something that I don’t know how to manage,” Kara said.

            “Is this about Mon-El?” Alex asked.

            Kara made a soft, frustrated growl.

            “Why does everything _still_ have to be about him?” Kara said.

            “Fair.” Alex said with a grave turn of her head. “Is it, though?

            “I mean… probably… in some ways,” Kara said.

            Kara heard her phone ringing on her dresser in her bedroom. She went and grabbed her phone. She tumbled back out into her living room.

            “Cat Grant is calling Supergirl,” Kara said.

            “Answer it,” Alex said. “Ask her what she would do.”

            “Miss Grant!” Kara said as she answered and then waited during a pause that sounded like Cat checking the screen of her phone to make sure she had dialed the correct number.

            “I swear, you sound just like my former secretary Kara on the phone,” Cat said.

            “Can I help you with something?” Kara said, and her voice shook at her inadvertent use of the phrase, neither of which helped to distinguish her as Supergirl instead of Kara Danvers.

            “I’ve been seeing some rather irritating news coverage of Supergirl’s upcoming date night,” Cat said.

            “Yes. The media has become… rather fixated,” Kara said.

            “Mm. They’re like greedy, undisciplined dogs all whining, troubling over who will get a measly bone. No pun intended there, I promise. Have you decided whom to take out? I don’t think it’s best to let this one slip away or go according to their terms.”

            “Not yet. I asked Miss Luthor, but she declined,” Kara said.

            “Yes, she would, of course. That would defeat the entire purpose of her giving you control. You do have the right idea, though, of honoring her choice with the one you make,” Cat said.

            “Do you think so?” Kara said.

            “Oh, please. Did you not read Lena’s interview? And when you did, did you not notice in particular what she said about why was willing to cough up a half a million dollars to the UF this year specifically?”

            “So should I ask her a second time? That's not pushy?” Kara said.

            “That would not amount to reciprocity,” Cat said.

            “Do you have a better idea in mind?” Kara asked.

            “Yes. I do. Pretty much all the time,” Cat said and stalled.

            “Share this one, and I will owe you a favor,” Kara said.

            “I do like the sound of that,” Cat said.

 

            So Supergirl did end up at Blue Mist on Friday evening. Even with the press crowding the scene, she felt quite her usual self and spent the entire night grinning without even trying. On the phone, Cat Grant had pointed out that while Supergirl stood as the figure at the center of the message being sent, Lena Luthor’s gesture had been towards the entire alien community and included rather practical solidarity. So she said that Kara should simply find a way to ensure that she did not just gift a favor back to Lena but that she in return acted in solidarity with Lena’s broader community of LGBTQAI+ folks.

            At Cat’s recommendation, Kara gift the romantic dinner she had won to two elderly African American women, Lynn Munson and Gwen Lewis, a couple who had recently been receiving a little press. They had fallen in love while doing Civil Rights work. Their careers as organizers had kept them moving between major cities over their lifetimes, and they had been married or joined in civil unions that were then dissolved against their will nine times. They jokingly referred to their partnership as a cat with nine lives that rose up again every time their government tried to kill it. Over the past six years, Gwen had been fighting cancer. Their insurance company had recently tried to use a loophole in their policy and ambiguities in regards to the legal status of their relationship over the time of Gwen’s treatment to deny them continuing major coverage.

            Gwen was in a wheelchair, and Blue Mist did not have an elevator. So the media captured the scene as Supergirl prepared to lift Gwen up to the balcony of the restaurant. At the last moment, Gwen motioned for Lynn to come and sit in her lap. So Kara gently carried them both up together. While the two women ate in peace on a balcony high above the streets, Kara stood down on the street in front of a clutter of press. The wait staff knew how to put in a call for Supergirl to come and bring the women down at the end of their night, and most of the media would linger to catch the footage then. Kara offered to answer some questions. She gestured to James, so he could ask his question first.  

            “Why did you decide to arrange this night? Can we hear the message you mean to send in your own words?” he asked.

            “I wanted to take this opportunity to show people what love really looks like. Even my own life is full of love that goes unacknowledged, unseen. Love does not belong to the youthful and able-bodied alone. Love does not conform to gender roles. Love cannot be commoditized and then bought and sold. Our society still argues about whether to make love illegal when it doesn't mirror shallow social ideals.  I think that tonight it’s a good time for us all to remember that love cannot ever be overestimated, but it is often misrepresented,” Kara said.

            She gave the reporters a moment. There were to many questions. So she needed them to line them up.

            “I recognize Miss Lawrence,” Kara said to allow a familiar reporter who stood near James that Kara liked to ask her question.

            “Supergirl, you’ve always been private about your personal life and for obvious reasons that I hope we can all respect. But people want to know: Does the girl of steel have love in her life? Does she have someone to come home to at night – or rather I suppose that’s in the morning – when she gets off work?”

            The crowd laughed at the good-natured question.

            “Thank you for asking in that way,” Kara said. “I do keep my personal life as private as possible. I need to safeguard the people I love as best as I can, and I have to say that I been _very_ lucky in love. My close people, they mean more to me than I can express. I am very much supported and very well loved. Though to answer what I think you probably meant by your question, I have not yet found _all_ the love that I am hoping for in life. When I do, I can only hope and aspire to becoming the type of person who would be courageous enough not to let any convention or even the risks of being shut out from society’s acceptance stand in my way like these two women who we are celebrating tonight.”

            Ever as the questions pressed in around her, Kara found herself not even the slightest bit intimidated. She stood easy and relaxed before the clutter of mics. She spoke with confidence now that she had finally managed to wrest control of the narrative.  

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Kara has finally wrested control of her love life in the media. But what about her personal life as Kara Danvers? What will become of Kara having admitted to to her sister about her attraction to Lena Luthor?


	4. Who could get close enough to gain Supergirl’s trust?

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Kara asks Lena to dinner. Lena asks her a rather personal question about Supergirl. From Kara's answer, Lena finds out more than Kara meant to share.

            Kara made her way down the busy city sidewalk that following evening. She nearly gave into an urge to skip. Her heart was soaring, and she reveled in how she was feeling. She felt _free_. She usually only felt this way when flying. She even kept her good mood when a man in a business suit walking in the other direction failed to move out of her way, even though the sidewalk was empty and she was walking with proper street etiquette already and kept as far to the right side as possible without stepping into the street. Their shoulders clashed, and he lost the suitcase and looked stunned. Kara suppressed an urge to laugh at his shocked and disgruntled face. She snatched the briefcase up and tossed it to him. She left him frowning, still with a smile still on her face, as she went on shaking her head. She had places to be, too.

            After Cat Granted told her how to take control of Supergirl’s love life in the media, Kara had been left thinking about her own. Her mind kept working over finding some reasonable way to ask Lena to attend something else with her as Supergirl. Then she realized that she could also ask Lena to spend time with her as herself. That made her every bit as excited and also nervous. As Alex had said, spending time with someone as Supergirl never felt entirely real. Those connections could not quite turn into anything. There was a sharp bounded quality to Supergirl’s relationships. This would be more real. She wanted that and did not know how to go about getting it.

            Alex remained quiet that week about Kara admitting to being attracted to Lena Luthor. She had an edge of softness in her tone towards Kara that meant she felt like Kara had been having a rough time. And Kara figured that Alex did not want to add any more stress or bring up any love related themes before the dinner date fiasco had been squared away and the related feelings diminished. Still, Kara felt this entire ordeal managed to reveal her own feelings to herself with more clarity. Friday night, as she flew over the city and waited for the call to return to Blue Mist, the world felt clear and simple. Kara landed on a rooftop to stand. She got out her phone and texted Lena.

 

 _Free tomorrow night by chance?_ Kara texted.

 _Miraculously, yes,_ Lena answered.

 _Want to get dinner with me?_ Kara asked.

 _Absolutely! Want to choose where? Or should I?_ Lena responded.

 _Been to Willow?_ Kara asked.

 _No! Looks good! 7?_ Lena said.

 _Yes!!!_ Kara said.

 _See you tomorrow!_ Lena said.

           

            That was so easy, Kara stood there rather astonished. When she woke up on Saturday, she was glad that she had not given herself a stretch of days where she could get nervous. Instead, she had given herself only one day to get excited. She met up with Alex to get lunch, do some clothes shopping, and go for a long walk in the park.

            “You are so much happier now with that date crap over,” Alex commented as they were sat down to lunch with drinks and waiting for their food.

            “I am _so much happier_ ,” Kara agreed.

            “I loved the way Supergirl handled the press last night,” Alex said.

            “She was back on her game,” Kara joked.

            “Seriously, you were awesome,” Alex said.

            “Thanks!” Kara said.

            “You even let them think you were maybe a little bit gay,” Alex said.

            “I wasn’t born yesterday. I wasn’t ever going to let the media get me to defend how perfectly straight I am and disassociate Supergirl from LGBTQ kids. They’ve been trying that trick since day one,” Kara said.

            “I know, but also, you kept that whole demand they put on you to define your sexuality open-ended. You held onto yourself.   You didn’t give them even a bit,” Alex said.

            “Yeah!” Kara said.

            “I’m just really proud. I mean I am usually. It’s a daily parade of reasons to be proud, being your sister. But this one feels unique to me,” Alex said.

            They clinked glasses over the table. Their food came as they drank their toast. The two of them settled in to start eating.

            “I also asked Lena Luthor to have dinner with me,” Kara added.

            “Is that – that’s happening?” Alex said.

            She had paused fully and was now trying to hide how pleased she felt.

            “Yes, it is,” Kara said.

            Alex grinned openly. She took a drink. She waved her hand to dispel the energy. Kara sat grinning and fighting an urge to grow coy across the table.

            “No pressure,” Alex said definitively with a sharp point and went back to her food.

            “Nope!” Kara agreed.

            Alex put down her fork and knife. Kara sat smiling. Alex was trying to feign recovery. But she had not recovered. She picked up her glass.

            “You, Kara Danvers, are so damn brave,” Alex said and tilted her glass towards Kara across the table, “And that is in _no way_ a coded reference to the people who share Lena’s last name.”

            Kara reached across the table and with both hands to take Alex’s hands briefly. She felt so lucky in her life today. She found herself grown speechless and ate in what felt almost a quiet of reverence.

            Her mind moved over that exchange as Kara reached the restaurant, Willow, where she was to meet Lena. She stepped inside to check on a reservation she had made. They were all set, and she was a few minutes early. She decided to wait outside. At seven on the dot, Lena got out of a car that pulled up to the corner. She waved to Kara and said goodbye to her driver.

            Kara lost all the other lines of thought running through her head as she watched Lena walk over to her. She did not even think about offering her a hug. Their eyes had met, and that felt enough to make them both a little giddy.

            “Hi!” Lena said with a tiny laugh.

            “Hey!” Kara said emphatically.

            “This place looks great,” Lena said.

            “It is!” Kara said and pried the door open.

            They made their way inside, and they were led promptly up some stairs and to a table. Kara looked out a window onto the street. They ordered some drinks and Kara ordered appetizers that Lena agreed on with an eager shrug. Then they were alone again and excited to see one another. Lena considered the menu only a minute, then she sat back ready to order.

            “It’s been a while,” Lena said.

            “Y - yeah!” Kara managed.

            Kara was made suddenly self-conscious of the fact that she had not been distinguishing very well lately between her own frequent experience of connecting with Lena and Lena’s experience in which Kara and Supergirl were separate.

            “How have you been?” Lena asked.

            “Uh, busy! A little distracted. But good!” Kara said.

            “I’m glad to hear that. Rising through the ranks at CatCo?” Lena asked.  

            “I – I have had some small successes, yeah! Your constant breakthroughs are in the papers, so I feel like I have rough sketch of your life, I think!” Kara said.

            “Oh, well. The city loves a rising enterprise,” Lena said.

            They chatted about L Corp and CatCo for a while. They placed their food orders. Lena did not seem to notice how much food Kara ordered.

            “How is your sister, Alex? Things going well at the DEO?” Lena asked.

            “She’s good. Work is good. Her relationship is good,” Kara asked.

            “Is it a new relationship?”

            “Fairly new. She’s seeing a cop – Maggie Sawyer. Actually… you –“

            “We have met,” Lena said quite flat.

            “Yeah…” Kara started.

            “I’m sure she’s lovely,” Lena offered easily.

            “We should all hang out sometime,” Kara said.

            “Should we?” Lena responded.

            “Yeah! We all do game nights at my place,” Kara said.

            Lena’s tone had been light, and yet she could not fully hide the surprise in her tone. She looked down at the table, and Kara read the subtle signs that revealed the depths of Lena’s unease. She saw Lena swallow hard in discomfort as she considered this idea. Maybe a gathering of friends felt more intimidating to Lena than a public event. She always appeared so confident to Kara that maybe she had missed the edges or even some performative quality behind her poise. Their appetizers arrived.

            “You would probably wreck us all, though,” Kara said.

            “How do you figure?” Lena said.

            Lena’s mood lightened into laughter at Kara’s joke. The fact that she had not agreed to come was not lost on Kara. She would take care not to push the idea and be careful of how she asked her when it came up in the future.

            “I have a hunch,” Kara said, “Maybe it’s from seeing how you handled the UF event and set Supergirl up for her own media win.”

            “Have you two been in touch?” Lena said.

            “Only a little,” Kara said.  

            “Tell her a preemptive thank you for me. I’ll tell her when I see her next,” Lena said.

            “Why’s that?” Kara asked her genuinely.

            “For the stunning display of mutual solidarity. I rather underestimated what she would do given that situation. I don’t imagine she even knows fully how much her choices mean to the queer community. She even kept her own sexuality ambiguous in interviews, and that’s a big deal for us. She never gives up any privacy, so that was definitely a considered choice she made,” Lena said.

            “Girl was just telling the truth about things,” Kara said a little dismissive.

            She did not really want any credit. Either way you cut it, a little solidarity should have been a given. And a little coming out was for herself as much as anyone else. The media blew everything up into something beyond what was real. Lena seemed surprised by how lightly Kara clearly considered this.  

            “Has your sister said anything?” Lena said.

            Kara was taking a drink. She choked a little bit on her water. She was unable to sort out what that had really meant and could not pretend.  

            “About – about what?” Kara said.

            “Supergirl and the latest news coverage,” Lena said.

            “Oh! Yes, she loved it,” Kara said.

            Lena nodded over Kara. She seemed a little perplexed. She let this go, however.

            “What you did was so cool. I know she really appreciates it,” Kara said.

            “I’m glad,” Lena said, and her tone was equally dismissive.

            Kara had to laugh at that. She tried to think of a way to say more. She always felt weird about her duplicity when talking about herself this way.

            “Who would have thought that Supergirl would only need saving at the least dangerous event of the year?” Kara said.

            “Paradoxes abound in this world,” Lena joked.

            “I would not have thought – something like that comes off as not being a big deal. You saw that it was,” Kara said.

            “That’s how stuff works, isn’t it? Sexism and complex social inequalities? We learn to allow the massive invasions on our privacy and personhood and see them as natural by way of all these small, seemingly insignificant infractions that happen everyday of our lives. Often, this stuff gets presented as only a joke. And when we try to point out one small part of the culture, that part is made to appear small, like it’s not a big deal. It’s a litany of small, encroaching movements that eat us up, a process of desensitization or cultural conditioning. That’s how we learn our place in the world,” Lena said.

            “Wow,” Kara said.

            “Don’t mean to sound like an evil mastermind,” Lena said.

            “I don’t think that I give these things enough weight, honestly,” Kara said.

            “You seem like you assert yourself more all the time and like you know how to stand your ground,” Lena said.

            “I hope I do,” Kara said.

            “Sexuality, specifically, is a big deal to me,” Lena said.

            “Yeah?” Kara said to solicit more on her sentiment.

            “Yes. I figured out most of who I am through my relationship with women. Even when they’re not sexual, those close, formative bonds between women are still seen as deviant. I began my whole process of individuation from my rather unfortunate family through those same bonds. My sexuality formed the foundation for my process of claiming ownership of myself. You know? Those dynamics are hard to describe, but they’re important – defining, even – crucial,” Lena said.

            “This is almost the reverse of how I tend to think. When I try to keep perspective, I tend to look at the scale of something. So I let most small things in my life pass. I have noticed how they build up and snowball sometimes, accumulate until they become big, but I am not very good at recognizing that,” Kara said.

            “I would end up breaking in some way – at best breaking out into a rage over ignoring those small losses in all the power plays in my everyday life,” Lena said.

            Kara remembered a few occasions of facing everything she had been letting go, over and over, for prolonged amounts of time. After her experiences being altered by red kryptonite, she had felt afraid of allowing herself to ignore what bothered her so fully. Still, she had made a similar mistake in her last relationship. Thinking about that even for a moment made her close her eyes and grip her jaw. She felt humbled to still feel so much anger lingering. Obviously, her strategy had been counterintuitive to her mission. She could learn a lot from Lena’s way of seeing the world. They had been quiet for a long time. Lena smiled softly at Kara, wondering what she was thinking.

            “I have hit a couple of breaking points that could have been avoided,” Kara said.

            “I wouldn’t want to see the hidden counterpart to your tenderness,” Lena said.

            Kara smiled at that idea. That fit so well with her thoughts about red kryptonite. She often thought since then of how people always live as paradoxes with shadow selves.

            “I’m a wimp,” Kara said

            Lena cocked her head. She did not believe a word of that. Kara blushed a little at the lie. Still, when she thought of herself apart from new life as Supergirl, that still felt true. She was sensitive. And she was nice. Those were her main attributes. There was not a lot of metal in that. That part of her was recent.

            “You have enough bravery to side with people when there’s literally no one else taking their side. You know how to trust your instincts and stand on your own side. People often see kindness as weakness. They’re wrong, of course. I would not want stand on the other side of any exchange when Kara Danvers had finally had quite enough,” Lena said.

            “People have been taken by surprise,” Kara admitted.

            “You would have to come out with more than hidden strength to surprise me,” Lena said.

            “I wonder what that would take,” Kara said, and knowing this was a flirtation, even as said it, she also blushed.

            Lena was looking at Kara closely.

            “Maybe we will find out one day,” Lena said and raised one eyebrow in only the subtest flirtation, clearly intended to match Kara’s without being too much.

            Kara sat smiling after for a long moment. She definitely _liked_ Lena Luthor. As they continued on eating in silence, she became almost astonished by exactly how much. Everything between the two of them always changed and took shape quickly. They had a kind of recognition and ease that made communication so easy and rich between them. Now that Kara was considering Lena as a potential love interest, she suddenly found herself facing the prospect of how fast that might form into something, too. Their relationship had a way of deciding its own shape almost immediately. Kara had gone to fast on these matters in the past, and out of all the things she could easily feel uncomfortable about that were breezing past her, that one struck a chord and made her authentically worry.

            Their meals came. They were both quiet and getting settled into eating for a while. Lena seemed to be thinking hard. She was about to broach some other topic of conversation. She seemed almost nervous about whatever she was going to say.

            “I keep meaning to ask Supergirl a question. The right moment has not come up. I think maybe you might know,” Lena said.

            “Yes,” Kara said, but her tone came out so terse that Lena noticed at once.

            “It might not be something she would want shared, I don’t know,” Lena said.

            Kara braced herself for the single most awkward moment of her life on this earth thus far. She became determinedly neutral. She grasped internally for a bit of strength, some thread of her Supergirl poise, even as she continued to feel the expression on her face. She ended up thinking of herself in the profoundly awkward analogy of a deer of steel caught in the headlights. She barely moved as she sat waiting for Lena to speak.

            “When she rescued me some weeks back, I think Supergirl had help from someone else. There was another alien, one that I did not recognize or see all that well. I did some research and dug up some media coverage about a Green Martian who appeared suddenly and fought Supergirl when she was under some kind of mind-alteration and attacking the city. I cannot be sure, but I think that was the same alien – some friend of hers who intervened in both of those critical times.

            “The media coverage I found said that Green Martians were thought to be extinct before the sighting. Green Martians are supposed to be able to fly and to have psychic powers to some degree, and both of those fit. I wondered if Supergirl might be willing to put me in touch with that alien. If one of the last of their people remained in hiding for years, then there must be some continuing threat looming over them. Hiding alone could stop them from finding one another if there are any others left. There might simply be some way to commemorate or recover the lost culture of Green Martians.

            “Anyways, I imagine most of the ideas I could generate on my own have been considered already. But I am hoping to gather some people together to operate in direct opposition to CADMUS. Believe me when I tell you that they are not done. And I don’t want to just wait around for them to make a move. I think that Supergirl has the defensive front covered already. I am thinking more about how to head CAMUS off, make the culture less responsive to their messages. I think more insight and respect for alien cultures might be a solid strategy, perhaps especially lost ones with remnants surviving here on earth. Kryptonian culture gets a lot of press, and they’re seen as having been their own downfall. To my understanding, the Green Martians were systematically exterminated. That would create the foundation for a powerful message. But that is not a human’s story to use or to tell.”  

            Kara considered Lena’s words fo a long moment. If she had been liking Lena self-consciously before, she let go of that self-consciousness now. There were solid reasons. She decided only slowly on how she wanted to respond.

            “I know him. I’ll ask him. I think he would be interested in speaking with you,” Kara said.

            “Really?” Lena said in clear surprise at the first part of that statement even more than the latter part.  

            “He became a kind of second father to Alex when our dad died – or disappeared, rather, when we were young. He is very important to our family,” Kara said.

            Lena appeared unable to shake off how taken aback she was by Kara’s answer. She grew lost in her own thoughts. She sat back and spent a long time in focused, silent contemplation. Her eyes sharpened, and Kara caught an intuitive sense of how rapidly Lena’s mind moved and deep her thoughts ran. A gentle wave of astonishment rose across her expression, before all signs of what she was feeling sank into a veil of unreadable neutrality. Lena’s eyes moved over Kara for a long moment, and then she looked away and reached for her drink.

            And Kara knew that Lena Luthor had just figured her out. She had just put the pieces together and realized that Kara Danvers was Supergirl. As she thought, she was not quite sure what had made this happen. She ought to be panicking and leading Lena into some intentional confusion. Instead, she felt herself at a loss for words. They both had trouble picking up their conversation. Lena searched for some other topic. Somehow, she managed to get them into an easy round of lighter conversation about a new museum opening in the city and a book they had both read not long before.

            Kara ought to have felt deeply anxious. She ought to have felt profoundly stressed. Instead, she felt a kind of ease opening out between them. Lena was almost softer towards her. And Kara got the sense that Lena intuited that Kara would feel the change and know exactly what it meant. Not a word was spoken even near the matter, and yet by the time they stood to leave, the truth about Kara seemed to have unfolded fully. Lena made it entirely clear that she did not mean to touch or expose the secret. She did not try to hide that she knew it. But she did not do anything with it either.  

            Out on the sidewalk, they determined that they were walking opposite ways. Kara considered mentioning what had transpired. She did not feel ready and did not know how. So she played it more or less as she would have before things changed between them.

            “I’ll make sure that Supergirl and my other friend get your messages,” Kara said.

            Lena lifted her chin in half a nod. She remained poised on what she might have said and, in the end, did not bother to say anything. Instead, she smiled and kept her focus on Kara. The two of them shared a hug that was comfortable and full of warmth. They held on for a prolonged moment, before they leaned back.

            “Until next time then,” Lena said with a quick raise of her eyebrows.

            Something about the ambiguous quality of that farewell made Kara laugh. She nodded in response. The two of them turned and made their way in opposite directions down the sidewalk. Kara turned back to see Lena getting into a car pulled up near the corner. Lena made her a last wave, and Kara waved back a little, turned on her heel, and stuck her hands in her pockets. She ought not to feel so easy about all of this according to her past experiences. And yet, she could not deny that she did.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Despite how comfortable they both find themselves moving steadily closer to one another, unspoken truths still remain between Kara and Lena. How will the two go about bringing these things the surface? What will happen when they do?


	5. Who could live up to Supergirl's expectations?

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Supergirl's obligations double book with Lena and Kara's lunch date. Lena moves their plans to dinner. They pick up a dropped thread from the UF date night fiasco.

            Kara ended up terribly engulfed with work at both the DEO and CatCO in the coming few weeks. Lena’s life did not seem much less hectic. They managed to see one another only a few times. The caught lunch on a weekday, and they had slightly rushed dinners twice. Kara got a call and had to leave early during the second one, and Lena did not seem surprised and did not question this in the least. The quietly expressed reality that Lena knew that Kara was Supergirl settled fully to define the tone of their relationship. Whenever Kara would talk about Supergirl in the second person, Lena would listen patiently and more or less go along.

            After that second time the two of them spent time together, Kara had told Alex that Lena knew that she was Supergirl. Alex gave Kara a sharp and self-controlled look. She was clearly not happy with this, and she did not want to let it show. Kara realized that she could have framed this a little differently at the start.

            “Okay,” Alex said. “I was kind of hoping you would take things slow. But – okay.”

            “I haven’t told her,” Kara said.

            “That you are into her?” Alex said.

            “That I’m Supergirl. She just knows,” Kara said.

            Alex definitely balked at that statement. She started to say something then made a sound. She touched her forehead.

            “That’s complicated,” Alex said.

            “I guess so,” Kara said, “But I can’t help but feeling fine about it.”

            “Well, your instincts about her have always been on, and the rest of us have always been off, so... what to do you think about this?” Alex said.

            “I think that for the first time in my life, someone sees me clearly enough to know the truth about my life without me spelling it all out for them and also at the same time respects me enough to let me decide what I will do with my own secrets,” Kara said.

            “You are really _in_ this,” Alex said, clearly astonished.

            “I am that – I am definitely in,” Kara said with a point.

            “Well, I am going to have Winn continue looking into her,” Alex said.

            “She’s under surveillance?” Kara asked in shock with a spike of rage.

            “Nope. No,” Alex said. “She’s being monitored by the DEO. We don’t want her snatched by CADMUS _again_.”

            “Yeah, or joining them?” Kara said.

            “Will you think this through before you decide to go on the defensive?” Alex said.

            “People have a right to privacy,” Kara said.

            “Not people like us, not as much as everyone else. Lena can open vaults to weapons of mass destruction on a scale that cannot be ignored. Weapons that could kill even you, potentially,” Alex said.  

            “You all will never learn to trust her,” Kara said.

            “I already do trust her, because I trust you. I fully trust your instincts. They have never led us astray. I am keeping watch over her as much as I would over you or anyone in her same position. She _will_ be targeted by CADMUS at some point. It’s inevitable,” Alex said.

            Kara considered this for a long moment in silence. She calmed down. Alex could already see that Kara had let go of her instinct to become defensive. She turned her head a little, unable to quite read the tone of the distress that rose in place of her defensiveness.

            “They have led me astray before,” Kara said.

            “Don’t say it like that,” Alex said.

            Kara stayed worried.

            “Keep an eye on me, Alex,” Kara said. “Tell me if I’m – if you think that I am off this time.”

            “You know I will always tell you the truth as I see it. And you also know that you are not wrong about this. You can trust yourself, Kara,” Alex said.

            Kara tried to follow Alex’s advice. She noticed that she only grew worried when she had not seen Lena for a while. Once they would meet, she would find herself smiling when thinking about Lena and grow relaxed again.

            When Kara was working late on a Tuesday, James came into her office. She had almost finished her article. Her eyes were tired, and she took her glasses off to look at him.

            “Kara,” James said. “Did you see the White House briefing? The Secretary of Defense has changed her stance on defense against aliens. She’ll be here in the city on Friday, and she’s asking the press to attend and inviting Supergirl to join her for more in depth announcements,” James said.

            “Woah!” Kara said.

            “This is big, Kara,” James said.

            “It looks to be!” Kara said.

            James handed Kara the print out. He waited for her to read through the write up. She looked up at him after she finished.

            “Did you eat dinner?” James asked, quite clearly able to read on her that she had not.

            “No,” Kara admitted.

            “I’ll put an order in,” James said. “I’ll get you something scary.”

            Kara laughed at that as she realized how hungry she was. She got up to take a break from her office. She made some coffee, scrounged through the common room for any snacks without triumph, got a candy bar from the vending machine, and came back to her desk. On her way back to her office, Kara remembered that she had made plans to go out for lunch with Lena on Friday. She had been ignoring her phone, and she found a text already waiting for her. Lena had seen the news and already knew where Supergirl would need to be on Friday.  

_Dinner instead?_ Lena had texted.

            Kara only smiled at that for a long minute, before she decided on a response.

 _Yes. See you there Fri?_ Kara said.

 _You haven’t invited me anywhere yet,_ Lena teased her.

 _I mean, it’s not policy yet. Is the venue a let down?_ Kara said.

 _I could make do,_ Lena responded.

 _You’ll come with me?_ Kara said.

 _Count me in. You’re on your own re any necessary punching,_ Lena said.

 _Fair deal!_ Kara said.

 

            On Friday, Kara did not find Lena at the event when she arrived. She got wrapped up at once in preparations. Alex and a DEO team were running security. The event went well, and everyone became focused on listening to the announcements. The mainstay was a push to keep alien representatives at the center of security measures against aliens. The topic had always been controversial. One side would argue that only aliens could truly defend against aliens, and the other side would argue about the inevitable risk of spies and betrayal. That was a huge win.

            As the press caught footage of Supergirl shaking hands with the Secretary of Defense, Kara spied Lena standing the crowd. She made her an instinctive wave in the middle of things, and Lena waved back at her. That became a favorite moment of the entire event, as the press had not seen the two of them interact since the UF fundraiser. Afterwards, Kara spoke at length to the press. When the crowds were clearing out, she made her way over to Lena.

            “Well, hello!” Kara said.

            “Fancy meeting you here,” Lena joked.

            Kara took a deep breath. She became abashed now. Some of the press were taking notice of the two of them speaking to each other.

            “We’re being watched,” Lena joked.

            Kara laughed genuinely.

            “Indeed, we are,” Kara agreed.

            “I can’t behave long. I’ll see you later,” Lena said.

            Lena gave her almost a wink. She made her a nod goodbye. She left Kara still laughing.

            When she got back to her office, Kara remembered that they had not chosen where to meet for dinner yet. She texted Lena. Lena said that she had a place that she thought Kara would like in mind and asked if she could send a driver to pick her up. They agreed on six thirty, and Kara asked how dressed up she should be. Lena texted back, _All the way_.

            Kara managed to get home with just enough time to get ready in a flurry. She got picked up wearing her best dress. Kara got excited to the point of almost becoming nervous in the car. She rolled the windows down, and the stoic driver ignored the way Kara practically stuck her head out the window and smiled at the crazy cityscape passing by. They went to an expensive part of the city. The driver stopped at the doors of a tall building and told her to go up to the top floor. Kara thanked him, and he nodded and smiled. He drove off and left her staring up at the low skyscraper. She texted Lena, and Lena came out of the building looking for her.

            Lena fairly sauntered over to Kara. And Kara her body respond to something – the sight of Lena, the way she moved, the feel of her approaching. She had her hand pressed to her stomach. She got a deep breath to gather herself.

            “Hi!” Kara said.

            “I hope you’re hungry,” Lena said.

            “Fiercely! Always!” Kara said.

            Lena offered Kara her arm. Kara took it with an eager bounce, and they went into the building. They took an elevator to the top floor, and Kara saw Lena working her jaw to pop her ears. They smiled at one another near the top.

            They stepped onto a rooftop lit by soft, dancing silver and blue lighting. There were restaurant tables nestled amidst pebble gardens, stone pathways, and hedging. Kara instinctively made a beeline towards the edge and stopped to stare at the edge of the city skyline and up at the sky in wonder. Lena went over quickly to announce their arrival and came up to Kara. She led Kara to a pathway, and they stepped down to the edge of a beautiful, full outlook over the city. Kara kept staring out, made speechless. She made a wild grin over at Lena, who laughed at the sight of Kara’s face.

            “Have you found this before?” Lena asked.

            “No! This is amazing!” Kara said.  

            “I thought you would like this,” Lena said.

            “You’re afraid of heights, though,” Kara said in sudden remembrance.  

            “Not heights, just flying,” Lena said.

            “Oh, I see,” Kara said.

            “I don’t like the sensation of being flung through space. I guess that I like feeling in control of what is happening to my body. This is a little of our common ground, I suppose. I’m quite comfortable up here,” Lena said.

            “Have you thought of learning to fly?” Kara asked.

            “I’ve never had the time. I have wondered if that would change how I feel,” Lena said.

            “I think it would,” Kara said.

            “I expect you may be right,” Lena said.

            A waiter came to let them know that their table was ready for them. They came at once and sat down. They were a little far from the edge at the table, but they could still see out over part of the city. The waiter helped them decide on wine and appetizers. He gave them some suggestions about ordering, and they got lost in the work of art that comprised the menu.

            “The food is actually better than Blue Mist,” Lena said.

            “You’ve been there?” Kara said.

            “Once,” Lena confirmed.

            “Who with?” Kara asked eagerly.

            “No one I’d care to remember,” Lena said and laughed at Kara’s eager tone, “No, I’m joking. The owner – he’s a kind of friend of my family, but one they only really kept around to make fun of behind his back. He’s a sweetheart really. I like him, but he’s also a ridiculous human being. Every once in a while, I spend a night with him yelling over to me about all the great stuff his kids get up to and all the sports he follows, until he’s hoarse.”

            Kara laughed long at this story.

            “Well, this makes up for our lost opportunity, then,” Kara said.

            “I wouldn’t call the way that played out any kind of loss,” Lena said.

            “The recovery of this one dropped thread,” Kara said.

            Lena could not stifle a grin at this. She bit her lip. Their waiter brought their wine, and they managed to place a decadent order for food. They were quiet at first after he left again.

            Kara decide to ask Lena a question her mind had been troubling over.   She did not bother to lead into it. They were beyond needing any announcements.

           “Do you mind telling me how you figured this out? So I can know not to make the same mistakes again? Not to imply any regrets about this time,” Kara said.

            “Sure,” Lena said. “I don’t think you have to worry about anyone who does not know about the DEO. That’s the linchpin. I knew about the DEO from Lex, even before I ran into agents here in National City. Supergirl clearly has connections to the DEO. You had connections to your sister. Alex works for the DEO. So I had begun to think you were Supergirl a long time ago. At the same time, I saw too much footage of Supergirl and Kara Danvers at the same events to hold onto that idea.

            “When I researched the Green Martians recently, there were a lot of theories and ideas about them. They ranged from that they had died out from a disease they could potentially bring to earth to fears that they were shape-shifters still living among humans in secret. When you said that your family knew the Green Martian, I could not imagine how that could have been possible with that particular alien’s identity able to remain hidden, unless they actually were shape shifters. Then the simultaneous appearances of Kara Danvers and Supergirl made sense. I went back and looked, and the media coverage of you both together all clusters around particular time periods. I figure those were phases surrounding scares that your cover was breaking down.”

            Kara sat and considered this for a long moment. She felt a little relieved. Lena was sharp.

            They found that the food was simply too good to allow for much talking. They only fit small snippets of conversation in between courses. When Kara said something to this effect, Lena joked that this was why rich couples were willing to pay so much for fine dining.   She did not seem mean-spirited when she made her joke, but Kara had to wonder if this implied something about the atmosphere Lena had grown up in that must still be lingering in her mind.

            After dessert, when even Kara felt about ready to tap out if faced with another plate of food, Lena led them on a set of pathways between hedges that ran along the edge of the roof lined by a chest-level glass wall. They sat on a bench beside one another and looked out over the city in quiet.

            “So how is your postponed date night turning out, Supergirl? I know this venue is not the highly esteemed epicenter of romance in this city. Viagra Mist just felt a little too theme park to a match with such an authentic soul,” Lena teased.

            Kara laughed genuinely at Lena’s joke. She looked out once more over the shape of the city. She felt tears almost forming in her eyes at the beauty of the sight.

            “I love how the light moves,” Kara said, “Like breathing,” and she could feel Lena beside her focusing on the city lights. “I feel like I am in a trance. This is not what I’m used to. You’ll have to remind me that this was real tomorrow.”  

            “What are you used to?” Lena asked her with a curious bit of a laugh.

            “Nothing remotely this good,” Kara nearly scoffed.  

            “You’ve had bad experiences mostly?” Lena said in an incredulous tease.

            “I have had… humiliating experiences with dating mostly,” Kara said with great candor.

            “That seems _impossible,_ ” Lena admitted with a disbelieving sound as if facing an intellectual anomaly.

            “I don’t get to date anyone as Supergirl,” Kara said. “I date as Kara Danvers.”

            Lena just made a faint gesture with her hand that meant something like _And?_ She nudged Kara’s shoulder with her fingertips and smiled over at her. She thought hard after and gave a faint sigh of distress. A flicker of anger seemed to cross over her face on Kara’s behalf.

            “You’ve had good experience of dating?” Kara said.

            “Sure,” Lena said.

            “Even when you – were young and all?” Kara said.

            “Oh, my God, no! Not then. I got established late,” Lena said, and Kara’s look prompted her to say more. “I spent four years at boarding school as a teenager. I hardly ever touched _anyone._ I am sure I was quite stiff and anxious about it when I did. I don’t even remember it.”            

            Kara had never known anyone who had gone away to school that young.

            “Did you like going away to school?” Kara asked.

            “No, I absolutely loathed being sent away to school, which was very lucky for me, I see now. If I had wanted to go, they would have had me at home. Since, I hated it, then always sent me up. In hindsight, it kept me away from them. I would have been stuck with my sexuality still fast asleep and waiting for me to get out far longer I think if I had not been away from home so much in high school and college,” Lena said

            Kara kept on looking at Lena. She did not know how to process what she had just said. She remembered Lena trying to talk to her about Lillian on the couch in her office. She felt a sudden burn of guilt for saying anything to imply that Lena should make contact with her. Just look at how that had turned out.

            “I did not come into my own in regards to sexuality and relationships until after college,” Lena said.

            “Maybe I am getting established incredibly late,” Kara said.

            “Well, you have a lot of other, _large_ commitments in life,” Lena nearly laughed.  

            “Yeah, I’ve always just let my love life slip,” Kara said.

            “The past does not determine our future,” Lena said.

            Kara smiled. Coming from Lena, the sentiment felt strong enough. She liked the idea.

            “I mostly avoid this kind of thing entirely. Supergirl’s sexuality gets questioned so much, I end up deflecting and then forgetting to actually work that all out later,” Kara said.

            Kara found herself quietly astonished to be speaking about all of this so freely with Lena. Somehow she had imagined that explicitly being on a date with Lena would close off and alter their communication. Instead, it brought the topic of sexuality into the midst of their usual dynamic. She watched Lena considering her words deeply. Lena seemed to grow deeply amused by her own thoughts.

            “Maybe, one day, Supergirl’s sexuality will shine out brilliant to take over the world,” Lena said with a gesture of her hand out over the city.

            “What?” Kara said and cracked up.

            She laughed hard at this. She shook her head emphatically. Lena was laughing, too, and nodding.

            “No?” Lena joked at Kara’s protestation. “Perhaps that’s best. Might be a service to humankind if you keep that hidden away from us and maintain your disciplined restraint. It might be something like the sun, you know? If it came right down in the midst of us, it would be far too much. Best for us all if it’s a kept remote and indirect, merely felt from a distance.”

            Kara kept on laughing. There was something about the tone of Lena’s joking. Kara never felt like the joke was on her. Lena’s joke was for her. She found that astonishing. She usually felt so sensitive and shut out around this topic.

            “I don’t think I have it in me,” Kara said honestly.

            “What?” Lena asked.

            “The will to project some intense sexuality,” Kara said.

            “I can’t do that either,” Lena said with a shake of her head.

            “Really?” Kara said unconvinced.

            “No, I mean, I _can_ do it. I just instantly get into trouble whenever I do. I can’t extravert my sexuality; it’s just too strong. People go crazy. They’re all sent lining up with their bowls hoping I’ll fill them up at least a little. It’s absolutely terrible. My life becomes completely unstable. No one is happy anymore,” Lena said.

            Kara was laughing so hard that Lena stopped. She shook her head. She gave Lena the most incredulous look. Lena merely nodded in mock severity and went on.

            “The first time I tried, I learned my lesson. I was twenty-two, and I was feeling this powerful queer essence inside myself. I was so focused on claiming my sexuality and transforming into this powerful person – I did not realize what a change that would be for other people. I bought this black dress. I don’t know how to explain exactly, but it was _the right_ dress. It brought what was hidden way deep inside out fully and put it clearly on display. And I wore that to a party _once_ and then spent the entire night deflecting people actively trying to hook up with me. We’re not talking one or two people; we’re talking a dozen at least, two maybe even. Some of them had been my friends for years. Even the next day, they were like, I don’t know what happened, so sorry!” Lena said.

            “That is ridiculous,” Kara said.  

            “You didn’t see the dress and feel the profound effects,” Lena said.

            “Well, no one gets to now! They messed it up,” Kara said.

            “No, I kept it. I kept the dress. I’ve worn it for people a handful of times,” Lena said.

            “A select few, eh?” Kara said intrigued.

            “Yeah. I keep it down, wrapped, in a bottom drawer. I try not to exude any sexuality in everyday life. I keep it tucked away deep inside of there, until I am in precisely the place I want among only relevant company. Then I let it loose, and it just comes rising up and pouring out,” Lena said.

            “Lena, you most certainly project a strong sexuality in your everyday life,” Kara protested.

            “I can’t stop the little bit that shines through,” Lena said with a shrug. “I try to tone it down rather than amplify it. Similar people still gain a sense of what’s deep in there, I’m sure. You can’t stop mutual recognition, and who would?”

            Kara shook her head even more. Lena had presented all of this to make her laugh. She was being a little serious, as well, sharing something true with Kara. Kara sat looking over Lena. She had settled down into the bench, almost draped on the seat, so she could look up to see more of the sky. She appeared so relaxed and easy in her body that Kara found even the sight of her resonant within her own body and remarkably appealing. She turned away and shook her head a little bit longer.

            “You are _so_ sexy to me,” Kara offered candidly.

            As she said this, Kara felt a wave of heat break out on her skin. Her heart raced at once. She swallowed hard and felt uncertain whether she was now incredibly excited or desperately abashed. She felt Lena shift subtly on the seat next to her. She touched her glasses, and her hand felt shaky. Lena remained quiet.

            “I hope that’s not overstepping,” Kara said, as she turned to see Lena’s face.

            Lena was already reaching over to her. She brought her hand under Kara’s elbow and followed the line of her arm to slip her fingers along Kara’s palm in order to settle Kara’s hand against her own. As she first touched Kara’s hand, she focused entirely on watching. She sat biting her lip as she did. She looked up to bring her eyes to meet Kara’s before she said anything.

            “I don’t think it’s possible for you to overstep with me,” Lena said.

            Her voice came out low in what felt almost a rush of breath. Kara listened closely then to the sound of Lena’s rapid heartbeat. Lena brought Kara’s hand to her mouth and pressed her lips gently to the back of Kara’s hand. Kara could only sit and watch this, as if she had been drawn fully into a trance by the feel of Lena’s soft mouth against her skin and the faint heat and wetness of Lena’s breath that came over her after.

            Lena turned back up a little to let her eyes meet Kara’s once more. They looked over one another’s faces for a long time. Lena shifted a little closer. Their movements remained so slow that Kara was made highly aware of the movement of her own breath. She felt as if she were a leaf on the edge of a pond being lifted by the rise and fall of waves and carried in slow shifts towards the edge. Eventually they had titled forward until their foreheads were barely touching. Lena raised her chin. She brought her face closer to Kara’s at an angle that let her brush her cheek over Kara’s such that her mouth slipped across the corner of Kara’s mouth. Then she softly titled her head the other way did the same on the other side. Kara felt her lips parting when she finished, and the corners of her mouth smiling only faintly.

            Their lips touched directly and only barely shifted. Kara only realized they were kissing fully after enough time had passed that she felt almost as if she were waking up a bit from some soft dream state. Lena’s mouth was held open, and her tongue brushed over Kara’s lips and then moved against her tongue to lift up sensations so soft and simultaneously potent that Kara felt herself bringing in rushes of breath through her mouth at the feel. This was so much easier and Kara felt so much more herself in this moment than she had ever felt kissing before this night. Where her usual relief at finding herself even remotely compatible with someone would have surfaced in the past, instead a deepening sensation came over her like diving down during flight that pulled her deeper into their kissing and closer to how she felt here in the midst of this experience.

            Their hands met between their bodies. Kara felt her hands were warm and trembling as they became held in Lena’s cool and steady ones. As Kara’s heat warmed Lena’s skin, Kara felt her hands steadied in Lena’s gentle but firm grip. Lena brought one of Kara’s hands to the side of her neck and reached over to bring her hand along Kara’s jawline and then slip her fingers into the edge of her hair behind her ear. Lena’s fingers scratched faintly at Kara’s scalp and gently gripped her hair. Kara found her breath halting and her mouth held open, as Lena’s hand made her head tilt back even further. She felt Lena biting her lip as their mouths met again. She shuddered vividly and felt herself shift and settle forward. She fairly pressed into Lena in a profound experience of surrender, and Lena seemed to pause with intense weight of the change a moment before responding.

            Kara’s phone nearby on the bench rang. She was so aghast that she made an audible sound. Lena laughed a little at this. They two of them leaned back and looked at one another for a brief moment. Kara turned to get her phone.

            “Alex,” Kara said as she answered, turned back, and kept looking over Lena’s expression.

            Lena watched Kara’s eyes go from incredibly soft to sharp as she listened. Kara worked her lips, and she swallowed hard once. Lena got to watch Kara let go of the rest of their night. She could keep from biting her lip and smiling at the subtle intensity of the loss that Kara experienced as it played out on her face.

            “I’m coming now,” Kara said with intensity and hung up.

            Kara gave Lena an almost panicked expression. Lena laughed at her. Kara took one of Lena’s hands, and Lena held her hand hard.

            “Duty calls, hero girl,” Lena said, her voice and her eyes still heavy.

            Kara considered leaning in once more. She not tolerate breaking another kiss. So she got up and steadied herself. Kara went to the glass wall at the edge of the roof and looked through the hedges to make sure no one was coming or standing anywhere near. Lena smiled at her one last time, and Kara made Lena a little wave.   Then Kara jumped over the edge, let herself drop down out of sight from the roof, and cut a barely visible line through the air.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Supergirl finally got to have her lost date night. And Kara wasn't dreaming during that first, wonderful kiss that she and Lena shared, before Kara was dragged away to protect her city. How will they move forward once they get a chance to pick up where they left off?


	6. Who could exceed Supergirl’s expectations?

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> After a hectic few days keeps her and Lena apart, Kara asks Lena over on a whim. Kara worries that she's rushing into this new relationship. Will Lena think the same?

            Kara barely even got to sleep over the next three days. They were kept chasing an alien through the tunnels under the city – a lanmoray with eighteen long tentacles and skin that changed color according to its mood. They were usually gentle and peaceful, and this one appeared to have gone crazy and remained shades of violent red. When Kara finally managed to get the alien wrapped up in nets and so had fought her way in close enough to see the lanmoray’s eight pink eyes, she found a microchip of some kind cruelly imbedded above the cluster.   They analyzed this at the DEO. They determined that someone had been testing a mind control device of some kind that the lanmoray fought well enough to break the transmitter to the electrical signals being received by the device only to then be left with a short-circuiting device still imbedded in its mind that made it lose all control. Alex surgically removed the device, and J’onn spent hours with the traumatized alien, searching its mind, and helping it to heal. The gentle being finally emerged once more. Once they met again, Kara felt terrible for every time she wrenched a tentacle into control or punched the alien’s soft, resilient body.

            She got as much sleep as she could and went in on Saturday to catch up on work she let slip at CatCo during the week. She and James were the only ones on their floor of the building, so she came and worked in his office. He kept the food orders coming, and by a little after eight o’clock, Kara finally felt at peace with how well she had maintained on both fronts. She came down to the street level with James. They said goodbye, and she veered off into an alley and flew home.

            Tomorrow belonged to her at last. She hoped that nothing would happen so dire that the DEO would have to call her. The idea of seeing Lena danced in her chest, almost painful in its potency after waiting so long. She began texting several versions of a message, and then she gave Lena a call.

            “Hi,” Lena answered in clear delight.

            “Hey,” Kara said soft.

            “How are you?” Lena asked.

            “I am my own woman once more,” Kara said, and Lena made a happy and intrigued sound. “I’d love to see you.”

            “Same,” Lena said.

            They could do anything tomorrow, and Kara’s mind passed over a handful of plans she might offer. Her chest almost ached from the sudden nearness between them that she felt hearing Lena’s voice. They had only shared texts during the past days. On a whim, Kara found herself asking Lena a rather bold question.

            “Do you want to come over? I know it’s late –” Kara said.

            “I do,” Lena cut her off.

            Kara sat grinning and laughed a little openly.

            “You’ll have to give me a little time first,” Lena said.

            “Anytime is fine,” Kara said.

            “Do you need anything I could bring?” Lena asked.

            “There’s not much food here, so only if you’re hungry,” Kara said.

            “Lovely. See you soon. I’ll text when I get close,” Lena said.

            Kara found a rather sudden burst of energy. She zipped around her place. She changed the sheets on her bed, did a massive pillow fluff, and made the bed. She jammed all her dirty clothes into a bag hidden in a corner, cleaned her bathroom sink, washed all her dishes, blew them dry with a puff of air, and put them away. On a last thought, she swept the hardwood floor with Alex’s favorite chore technique of hopping down in the center, blowing everything to the walls of the room, and then easily sweeping along the edges.

            As she stood in the kitchen washing her hands, Kara felt the heat on her skin and slowly came to realize this was not from all of her frantic movements. This was because asking Lena over to her place at probably nine or ten o’clock on a Saturday most definitely meant asking her over so they could be alone and probably so they could have some sex for the first time. Lena would not have missed the implication. She had agreed to come over right away.

            Kara stretched her shoulders self-consciously. She went into her bathroom. In the mirror, she found that she looked more tired than she would have thought. She gained a better sense of how she was feeling. As she leaned into the sink, she noticed that her own expression seemed quite vulnerable and almost sad. She should be excited about Lena coming over to her place. She felt an ache in her stomach and knew she was hoping they would wind up in bed together.

            Still, she felt stressed and almost worn out by her own feelings. Her worry about moving too fast into this hung in the back of her mind like the silent presence of a bed sheet hanging in a quiet backyard. She wished that she could feel that concern with more of a felt sense of urgency. Instead, she found herself barreling forward and responding to her own eagerness like she always did. She guessed that she could not really help who she as in the end and had to simply give in to this.

            When Lena’s knock came on her door, Kara looked through to see her holding a bag against her chest. She opened the door softly. Lena was carrying quite a load of some kind of takeout food. They were quiet, a little bit unsure of what to say to one another. They smiled instead, and Kara moved back to let Lena inside of her apartment.

            “Did you find something good?” Kara said in reference to the food.

            Lena crossed the room. She put the bag on Kara’s counter and set her purse in a chair. She was wearing a black dress, and Kara’s eyes caught on the way she moved, the shifting lines, and a grace that felt even more poignant than usual. As Lena turned around, Kara found herself eyeing her up and down.

            “Yes,” Lena was saying, “I’ve already eaten, but I thought you might be hungry. You can save this for later. I honestly didn’t like the sound of your house being empty of food. Seems a slight injustice in that.”

            Kara came forward a little bit. She could not even focus on the idea of an exciting gift of food. She knew she had a body, though. Her entire body was ringing with a bright energy.

            “Is this – is this the dress?” Kara said.

            She held up two staying hands both facing Lena’s body. Her eyes were wide, and she went perfectly still, taking in the sight. She felt almost a little bit faint, and this was certainly not from days of sleep deprivation. This was from the overpowering sensuality of Lena’s body in the dress she currently wore. Perhaps Kara had imagined she was ready for how intense the dress would be. But she was definitely not ready. She could not have imagined this level of extreme no matter how hard she might have tried.

            “It might be,” Lena said mildly with a little smile.

            “This – this is the dress,” Kara said definitively.

            Both of Kara’s hands came to press high on her forehead. She stood staring openly and made a sound that came out almost as a rumble at the intensity of how much her mind was being blown. Lena stood smiling somewhat meekly. She bit her lip, watching Kara’s face, easily reading her response. She made a vague, light gesture with her hand.

            “I don’t mean to imply anything about this particular get toge—“ Lena was saying.

            Kara had been holding shock-still, but she gained some control of her flooded mind at last. She stepped in close and placed one hand on Lena’s hip as she spoke, and Lena was cut off by Kara’s mouth coming softly to her own. As they began to kiss with mouths already made tender, searching, and open to one another, Kara let her hand slide around to the back to draw Lena in close to her. Lena got both hands on the sides of Kara’s neck. Kara let her hands run along the perfect lines of Lena’s body under the dress, and the reaction between their bodies felt almost electric, and they found their touches dancing with intensity.

            As their bodies shifted in to come closer nearly on instinct, Kara found herself crouching low. She almost lifted Lena onto her counter. That felt a little too forward, and she caught herself. They were kissing so passionately that she could not will herself to let this go for a while. When she did lean back at last, she searched Lena’s expression for only a moment.

            “Do you want to go to bed with me?” Kara asked.

            “Yes,” Lena managed in a kind of soft growl, as she gripped her hands in Kara’s sweater as if to steady herself.

            They stood away from one another. Lena moved towards the bedroom at once. Kara started after her.

            “Wait,” Lena said and dodged back to quickly snatch the bag of food and shove the entire lot into Kara’s fridge.

            When she came back, she stood and looked at Kara. Their eyes stayed on one another’s. Kara saw Lena’s jaw tensing.

            “This is going to take a long time,” Lena explained.

            Lena turned and crossed the room with almost sharp steps. The two of them made their way silently to Kara’s bedroom. Lena went on ahead of Kara into the dark room.

            As they entered her room, Kara clicked on the light. She went to turn on her three lamps, so that she could turn out the bright overhead light. She felt unsure whether should be leaving the lights on at all or how much light to allow, but they could reach two of the lamps from her bed. She felt her heart pounding in her chest. She looked up to see Lena finishing with carefully closing her blinds. Kara pulled off her sweater. She unbuttoned the cuffs of her shirt to make sure they would not awkwardly stop Lena from being able to get her shirt off a little later.

            Lena turned back to face Kara. She made a few steps across the room towards her. Kara felt herself nearly sway at her approach. She swallowed hard. Lena stood considering Kara. Lena’s chest moved heavily with her deepened breathing. She still seemed relaxed even with her body practically bristling with sexual energy. Lena’s hands came to touch in front of her and then she opened them both out.

            “I am _really_ excited about the prospect of having sex with you,” Lena said in an admission that came out almost as a laugh, “But I just have to say that you look _really_ nervous.”

            “Sorry, I – I’m not very good at this,” Kara said with a shake of her head as if waking herself up a little bit.

            “At what exactly? I’m not sure I understand,” Lena said with a curious little smile.

            “Just… I’m not all that good at sex,” Kara said with abrupt candor. “People think, like, superhero means, like, super sex, but that’s not how it goes with me.”

            At Kara’s completely unexpected words, Lena became taken aback a little. She grew deeply thoughtful. Her eyes were sharp and lost in concentration.

            “People do talk about sex as performative, like some kind of athletic sport. So maybe people imagine sex with you as some high-end, luxury version of sex? Like the sex equivalent of driving a sports car?” Lena offered.

            “Pretty much, yeah. I think so. That or else they are just intimidated,” Kara said.

            “Well, that sounds like a genuinely hideous experience,” Lena said, and the rich authenticity in her tone of voice made Kara smile. “That’s sexism amplified. I guess it’s all an attempt to see you bounded by the same gender shit as the rest of us. It just has to rise to extremes to still fit you.”

            “I really am just normal… when it comes to sex. Or, no, not even that, I don’t think. I am _below average_ when it comes to sex,” Kara said.

            Lena shifted back a little in her stance in clear surprise. Her body was still tensed with sexual energy. Her eyes held a deepening sadness. She let a hand rest at her waist.

            “Kara, this is a stressful to me – this conversation,” Lena admitted.  

            “Sorry if you’re disappointed,” Kara said quite genuine.

            “I’m not disappointed! Wow! I mean that the frame of this entire conversation is stressful to me, because you are talking about yourself like you’re something I have been considering buying. Like I need to hear reviews first to avoid buyer’s remorse. And I don’t quite know how to engage with that. I don’t see you in that way at all,” Lena said.

            “I just don’t want whatever happens between us tonight to feel bad to you,” Kara said.

            “Okay, I am one hundred percent with you there. I don’t want what happens between us tonight to feel bad to you either, and I think that maybe this already does a little bit. So let’s take some steps back here – get this back on the right course,” Lena said.

            Lena came and got her hands on the sides of Kara’s neck again. She pulled her into a slow round of kisses. Her mouth could stay so soft even when she grew assertive, and Kara found her body wanting to yield all over to this one, simple touch between the two of them. Lena let her go for a moment. She looked down at Kara’s hands that she held in her own.

            “I’ve seen countless footage of you shaking the Secretary of Defense’s hand in front of millions of people, and your hands were not shaking even the slightest bit then,” Lena said.

            “They almost never do,” Kara said honestly.

            “I think we should probably just climb into this bed in our clothes and make out for hours,” Lena said.

            “If you want that,” Kara nodded with a soft laugh.

            “I do,” Lena said and then kissed her more, before she leaned back to speak. “You won’t take that as some kind of indirect rejection will you? I am _completely_ into you. Make absolutely no mistake.”  

            “I wouldn’t, no” Kara said with a soft laugh. “But I – I don’t need it to be that slow.”

            Lena kissed her more. Then she considered Kara’s face with close scrutiny. She literally mouthed those last words to herself.

            “I am… searching out what we both actively want to do here. Do you want to make out with me, Kara? Does that sound really good to you?” Lena said.

            “Yeah! I love that kind of stuff. I don’t want to… use you, you know?” Kara said.

            “Use me? Hm. What is this sudden implied kinky talk?” Lena teased softly and made Kara smile.

            “I just mean, I don’t want you to wind up feeling frustrated,” Kara said.

            “Dear God, Kara,” Lena said and put both of her hands along Kara’s jawline to simply hold Kara’s face in her hands. “What kind of people have you gotten into bed with in your past?”

            “Not many to be honest,” Kara said.

            Lena dragged Kara near and into a long embrace. As they held one another close, some of the nervous tension shifted in Kara’s body. She felt herself breathing fully at last. She led the way and got into her bed. Lena came right in close to her. Their kisses started out soft, and Lena let her fingertips touch Kara’s mouth and trace over her jawline. The slightest sounds would escape from Lena’s throat at times, and Kara felt entirely sure that Lena was enjoying what they were doing already more than anyone Kara had ever been with had enjoyed anything the two of them had done together. The astonishment of how rich and resonant their bodies felt together never faded entirely from her mind, even though they went on kissing for hours.

            Their kissing shifted into different tones and dynamics, and Kara recognized how their entire bodies were swept up in this. They ended up with their legs tangled up together, and Kara dragged Lena over her at one point. She ended up over Lena eventually with Lena’s hands pressed into her hair and her mouth trembling at the feel of Kara’s when their lips would part for a moment. At some point, Kara realized this had probably done more kissing in a single night than she had done in her entire life so far. She had to wonder why she had never done this before. Then again, it simply would never have been able to live up to this.

            When Lena’s lips at last were clearly made sensitive and a little roughed from all of their prolonged and passionate kissing, they eased back into far more tender kisses for a long while. Kara saw from Lena’s eyes that she had become a little tired. The hour was late, and they both quietly realized this as they lay together.

            “Do you want to sleep alone? I can call a driver over. It’s no problem,” Lena said.

            “Stay over with me,” Kara said eagerly.

            Lena laughed a little at her tone. They ended up kissing so softly that both of them seemed to breath more softly in response for a while. Kara rolled over to the edge of the bed and popped up.

            “You can have the best pajamas,” Kara said.

            “Which one are those?” Lena laughed.

            “That’s subjective. I have a special superpower when it comes to choosing cozy pajamas. All the ones I have are the best for different reasons. This is serious business. You’ll have to come and see the collection,” Kara said.

            “All right,” Lena said and got out of bed.

            They got too riled up over the entire project to feel tired enough to go to bed after. Lena had reached behind her to unzip her dress. She lifted an eyebrow as she looked at Kara and bit her lip. Kara had to decide whether or not she would look. At first she look away, and then she turned her face over. At the change that came over Kara’s expression when her dress was off, Lena came in close and got her into a kiss. Kara’s hands came to rest on Lena’s skin, and the feel made her nearly forget everything else in all of existence. They kissed a handful of prolonged, quietly passionate kisses. Then Lena stepped back and turned to get the on the pajamas. Kara went and hung up Lena’s dress carefully.

            With both of them feeling wide awake, they went out into the kitchen. They dug out the Thai food that Lena had brought over. Kara heated up all the food. They sat on the couch to eat and talk a little. Lena made Kara laugh over the ridiculous meetings she had attended that week and the sheer absurdity of people in the business world as Lena described them. When they finally came and got under the covers in Kara’s bed, Kara could feel how incredibly tired she was underneath all this energy. They had kept awake late, but this felt the most rejuvenating night she had spent in days. Even with a new person there beside her in bed, Kara found herself incredible relaxed and comfortable. She listened to the gradual slowing of their breathing and their two heartbeats, as they both began to drift off to sleep at once.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Despite Kara's best attempts to appear calm and collected on the first night together, Lena figured her out. How will Kara feel in the morning? Where will they go from where they are now?


	7. Who could prove a match for Supergirl in bed?

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> After Lena showed up in her devastating black dress, Kara tried to initiate sex. Lena recognized that Kara was actually nervous, so they simply made out half the night. Morning comes, and Kara feels relieved and more herself. With the pressure off now, the two of them get the chance to come into a new day.

            Kara flew in through her open window. She listened and heard Lena’s soft, bare footsteps coming out of her bedroom. She nearly blanched, as she had hoped to get back before Lena woke up. Lena had heard Kara arrive. She came out already smiling. She was wearing her black dress from the night before, and the edges of her hair were a little wet. Most of her makeup had washed off, and she had a soft look. Kara found herself smiling and unable to say anything in that first moment.

            “Hey! I hope you don’t mind I used your shower,” Lena said.

            “You found a towel?” Kara asked her a little worried, since she had rushed off without putting one out, expecting to get back in time, and Lena just nodded. “Sorry, I was –“

            “You were out hero-ing?” Lena said with a bemused grin.

            “I had a lot of energy when I woke up,” Kara said.

            “And how is the city doing this morning?” Lena asked.

            “Good! I straightened a few things out. I also got you some – here!” Kara said.

            Lena made an exaggerated gasp as Kara approached. She held out both hands to offer Lena a café drink, a single, elegant pink flower, and a wrapped toothbrush.

            “Oh, my gosh, you brought me presents,” Lena said and pressed one hand to her forehead, and Kara laughed a little.

            “I’ll make some breakfast,” Kara offered eagerly, still with the faintest tone of apology.

            “This is incredible. You’ve covered every kind of gift here: symbolic, practical, luxury. Wow,” Lena said.

            “Which is your favorite?” Kara asked curiously.

            “I mean! I like them all, obviously. The toothbrush is my favorite, though,” Lena said and carefully took this from between Kara’s fingers and gazed at it for a moment.

            “I was most nervous about that one,” Kara said laughing.

            “Why is that?” Lena asked curiously.

            “Because I’m a dork. That’s one seriously dorky romantic gift,” Kara said in a rush.

            “Well, you have finally found your audience, then. Recycled plastic, _extra soft_ bristles, dark pink handle – this is no mere throw away toothbrush. This toothbrush was selected with the utmost care. This toothbrush speaks of chivalry.”

            Kara laughed and stood smiling. Her expression softened until Lena lost all her focus on studying the rare expression held in Kara’s face. They stood quiet together for a long moment.

            “I thought you might want to keep one here at my place, you know. Just in case,” Kara said.

            “Well! I will have you know that in my rather analytical brain, the more often you use a gift, the better the gift was,” Lena said with a raise of her eyebrow, and she and pointed to the other two gifts. “Hold onto those for me just a minute.”

            Kara sat the drink and flower on her table. She went and got dressed quickly in a pair of random clothes. She was dressed more for work than the weekend, but she did not really know what she would do today. If Lena left, she might end up going to work at CatCo for a while.

            She came to the kitchen and poured herself a huge glass or orange juice that she downed. The taste had never lost that pristine edge it had gained during the Mxyzptlk ordeal. Kara got out the stuff to make banana and chocolate chip pancakes, sausages, and eggs. Lena came out and offered to help. Kara got her to just sit at the counter. Lena drank her latte and twirled the flower by the stem in between her fingers. She chatted with Kara lightly about the flower industry and her favorite kinds of flowers, and Kara listened intently. Kara liked almost all flowers fairly indiscriminately, but she especially liked ones that looked more like any of flowers on Krypton, which tended to be those with long, delicately curved petals like the one in Lena’s hand.  

            As Kara cooked their meal skillfully using all four burners, Lena came over and got a little glass to give the flower some water. She passed her hand gently over Kara’s low back, and Kara bounced back a little on her knees and popped up at the sheer thrill that single line of touch caused to move through her entire body. They sat at Kara’s table and spent a long time at their shared breakfast. Lena laughed about how much Kara could eat. Kara got into stories about growing up with Alex and their family. They sat and talked about this for a long time afterward and held hands on the table.

            Kara cleared their dishes away. She told Lena not to help, since she could do them at super speed later. Lena laughed at this idea. Kara walked over to stand near Lena. She stretched her back. She was thinking that maybe she would ask Lena to go out for a walk. The way Lena was looking at her was bringing a tension into Kara’s low stomach, only somehow after last night, coming into this morning, the ache felt sweet and without the tinge of pain brought on by a deeply felt anxiety. Kara sighed, and Lena appeared almost able to read the shift in Kara’s body.

            She moved around Kara and let her hand slip around Kara’s waist as she did. Kara found herself practically giggling at the sexual energy the touch sent rushing up her spine and down her legs. Lena stood behind Kara and slipped both hands into Kara’s pockets. She put her chin on Kara’s shoulder and held her close to herself for a long moment. Lena brought her hands out to fold her arms around Kara’s stomach, and Kara rested her arms along Lena’s. Kara breathed in deeply, and her body swayed a little bit, led by the subtle movement of Lena’s hips.

            The rising energy in Kara’s body made her turn around. They kissed for the first time that entire morning. Kara felt at once like they already been close together all morning and like she had waited ages for this to happen. She laughed a little at this and disrupted their kiss. Lena only smiled and waited to match her mouth to Kara’s once more.

            As they kissed today, a new kind of intensity broke out between them. Kara found them swaying, stepping, and almost moving around each other. She finally broke their kiss, turned over her shoulder, and moved to lean her back against the wall. Lena stood for a moment considering Kara closely. Kara’s body had shifted fluidly when she eased herself back. She found herself already thinking that her plans for the two of them heading out could wait, and that she would rather they ended up back in her bed. She waited for Lena with an odd sense of both ease and tension in her body.

            An expression of quiet astonishment washed over Lena’s face as she looked over Kara. She stepped in close, and her mouth met Kara’s first. She let her hands run over Kara’s collarbones, tracing the shape underneath the shirt. Their mouths came together gracefully. Kara could feel Lena almost searching out her response, as if she were making a map of how Kara felt inside. Lena had noted Kara’s anxiety easily the night before, and she just as easily read the clear invitation and desire held in Kara’s body now. And Lena changed.

            The shift felt subtle and immense, and Kara sank down deeper into the sensations in her own body even at once. Lena stepped in closer to her. The way she kissed Kara seemed to be opening her up, and she found Lena already unbuttoning her shirt from the bottom up. She slipped her hands under the open collar and over the curves of Kara’s shoulders to bring the shirt a little ways down her back. Kara eased forward and took off her shirt, as Lena let her mouth move over Kara’s neck and shoulder. The shirt fell, and Lena had a hand in Kara’s low back and was pulling her forward to expose her throat even more and kissing her way down over her chest.

            Lena’s hands pressed hard to Kara’s chest. She felt herself being pressed to the wall, and her breath moved hard against both of Lena’s palms. Lena slid the straps of her bra off her shoulders and titled Kara’s head to the side to kiss one of her shoulders. She moved around to do the same on the other side. Kara shifted her body forward and held onto Lena with one hand, as she reached behind her and unhooked her bra. Lena tossed it aside all but rough at this point.

            She shifted back a little with her hips pressing into Kara’s to hold her to the wall, as she looked down. She undid Kara’s belt with swift movements and a hard tug brought the belt out of the loops. Lena tossed the belt aside, and it tapped hard on the floor. She gently undid the button and zipper on Kara’s pants, and Kara felt the heat of a blush rising over her chest and throat. Lena stood looking now with a moment of profound pause. She let her fingers slip over the exposed curves inside Kara’s hipbones on each side. Then she put one hand to Kara’s chest over her collarbone, looked up at her face, and kissed her hard. Her other hand, she slid down into Kara’s underwear to cup her body. Lena kissed Kara softly as she shifted her fingers carefully to work her way inside the delicate folds of Kara's body.

            Kara felt her breath stop and come in a halting form of gasp. Lena gave her enough room to breath in through her mouth but kept on kissing her with swift and graceful kisses. Kara found her body shifting down to press harder into Lena’s hand. Lena bent down to bring her mouth to Kara’s chest. Kara’s face tipped forward, and she found herself crying out against Lena’s shoulder. Eventually, they had shifted down so far that Lena knelt down to change the angle of her arm and press up into Kara even harder. She led Kara to shift down, so she could kiss her breasts more. Kara’s knees were bent all the way to ninety-degree angles, and she kept her back pressed flat against the wall. The muscles did not grow fatigued from their position. They only broke out shaking as her body shuddered in an climax that reached all through her body and left her body ringing in an almost uncanny and heightened pitch of pleasure even after she settled down from its rise.    

            Lena’s hand slid out of Kara’s opened pants to come to her hip. They were still kissing, and Kara shifted to let herself kneel down. This let her bring Lena’s body right up against her own and into a full embrace. They kissed for so long, Kara forgot every other thought she had held in her mind. Then she became aware of Lena’s body still inside her dress and wanted so badly to touch her, the energy went up her spine in what came over her almost as a shiver.

            “Can I touch you now?” Kara asked, as she turned her face to kiss the side of Lena’s neck.

            “Yes,” Lena said and turned her face to bring Kara into a kiss.

            As they kissed, Lena shifted her weight back, and Kara realized that Lena meant to lead them down to the floor. She got her arms around Lena’s body to hold her close to her own and shifted to arc down and bring the two of them softly to the floor. Lena made a soft moan as Kara came over her, and Kara found that she nearly quaked at only this one soft sound. The prospect of making Lena cry out with pleasure rose up burning in her mind, and she reached down to touch Lena’s knee and let her hand run up her thigh.

            They were kissing almost roughly. Kara brought her hand to the edge of Lena’s dress. She pushed it up, and Lena made a few soft moans at the feel. Kara turned her hand over and went to tug the dress up a little harder. She heard the fabric tear at the slip. She broke away from their kiss slightly, feeling a profound twinge of distress. She began to lean back to see.

            “Your dress,” Kara managed.

            “Tear it off. I’ll get another one,” Lena said.

            Lena rose up to grab Kara by the neck and drag her back into a kiss. She shifted back such that Kara braced her body to control the fall they made to the floor. At the undeniable clarity of desire held in Lena’s voice, Kara could not imagine not doing what Lena asked her. She shifted up a little onto her knees, even as they continued on kissing. Lean’s shoulders rose off the floor to stay with her, as Kara reached down and got the hem of the dress in both of her hands.

            She tore the dress from the bottom all the way to the neckline. She brought her hands immediately to break the middle of Lena’s bra. Then she put her hand under the center of Lena’s naked back and lifted her up off the floor to rake all the ruined clothing down off of her arms. Lena got her arms around her, and Kara let her body down onto Lena’s and kissed her so deeply they became almost still. Kara shifted up a little to look down at Lena. Lena let her hand fall back from Kara’s shoulder, and Kara heard her hand tap faintly on the hard floor. She worried suddenly that this was too hard of a surface for Lena’s body, especially with Kara pressing down into her. They should probably move somewhere.

            The urgency in Lena’s expression made Kara’s mind up for her. She pulled Lena’s body up to press to her own, and she turned them over. Lena was lying over her now, her body sheltered from the hard floor by Kara’s own. Kara reached around to easily tear the band on Lena’s underwear, and she shifted her shoulders forward to raise her up enough to bring her hand down between them to come between Lena’s legs. Lena made a cry at once and her entire body shook vividly.

            They kissed, as Kara found her way slowly to the precise touch that would make Lena continue on shaking. They kissed, and Kara could feel Lena’s lips trembling slightly against her own. Lena’s arms were braced on Kara’s chest. She leaned her head down into Kara’s chest as she became overwhelmed. Even a short time of them not kissing made her raise her face with urgency and kiss Kara as if she was already dying of want. They were kissing still as Lena’s voice broke out in a series of cries and Kara felt her rise up into a climax.

            As Lena came down from the sharp heights of pleasure that moved through her body, her hands came up to hold Kara’s face. Soft sounds still escaped her in the midst of their now slow and tender kissing. Kara had one arm wrapped around Lean’s waist, and she let her other hand run over the lines of her shoulder blades and up the back of her neck. Lena lifted up to see Kara’s face. The look they shared made everything inside of Kara grow heavy and still with a kind of reverence. She had no words for this, the precise way that they made a connection. Lena must have felt something similar. Her eyes welled up, and she seemed almost ready to cry. She brought her hands to Kara’s face again.

            “Oh, God, Kara. You are so good,” Lena said.

            Kara got an intuitive sense of what all she meant. The words sank into her body that felt still so open. She found a full and rich emotion flooding through her. Her hands shifted across Lean’s back.

            “You’re just so good,” Lena said.

            She had to kiss Kara more. The two of them made out there on the floor for what felt a long time. Lena’s legs shifted down alongside Kara’s. She came down on an urge to drag Kara’s pants off. Lena had turned onto her hip, and she looked over Kara’s naked legs and touched them with her fingertips. She ran her hand carefully up one of her thighs, and Kara shifted on the floor in a rush of desire that burned through her.

            Lena looked over her once to read this response quite fully. Then she came to kiss above Kara’s knee, and she moved her mouth slowly down the inside of her thigh. She shifted Kara’s legs gently to open them more and got down in between them. Her mouth came between Kara’s legs, and Kara brought both hands at once to cover her face. The sensations set every cell in her body dancing with the pleasure of fire like she was flying at the edge of the atmosphere close to the sun. She felt Lena rise up a little, her hands wrapped around Kara’s thighs. Kara brought her hands down to meet her eyes.

            “Is this good?” Lena said softly, seeming almost out of breath.

            Kara could only nod to her heavily. She saw the very edges of Lena’s mouth turn up a little as she took in her expression. Lena reached up with both hands to get Kara’s hands and worked their fingers together. Then she lowered her head between Kara’s thighs to touch her more. All Kara could do then was try to keep on breathing rather than hold her breath.

            After a while, a distinct thought managed to sink into Kara’s flooded mind after Lena shifted her arms a little to change how she was distributing her weight. Kara realized that her weight was resting on her elbows and knees on the hardwood floor. She got worried once more about Lena’s body on the hard surface and recognized how easily she would ignore subtle pain and become bruised doing what they were doing.

            Kara gathered herself inside. She sat up gently, and she took Lena’s shoulder to bring her up with her. Kara reached to bring Lena’s legs around her waist, and Lena followed her lead. She got her arms around Kara. Kara just stood up then. She had one arm around Lean’s waist holding her close to herself and a hand under one of her thighs. Lena wrapped herself around Kara and rested her head on her shoulder, as a Kara made her way softly into her bedroom to bring Lena back to her bed.

            The never did make it outside that day. They spent the entire in bed moving between having sex and making out for hours in between. When they finally recognized that they were half starving, they had already missed a meal. They ordered a huge amount of takeout food, and they went to take a fast shower together before their delivery arrived in order to create a stop. The barely made it out of the shower and into a few clothes in time, as they discovered quickly that they could also have sex in the shower.

            Kara pulled off the hoodie she had on, when she came back with the bags of food. Her body seemed to be spilling out heat, probably from what they had been doing all day. They sat on the couch to eat, and Kara brought them plates and water. She found Lena watching her when she got everything set out and sat back. Lena only bit her lip, clearly enjoying the way Kara’s body looked in a ribbed tank top with no bra on. Lena stretched, took a deep breath, and shook her head.

            “Focus,” Lena joked and gathered some food.

            They ate for a long while almost quiet. Kara got a call and went to get her phone. Lena heard her answer and knew it was Alex. She felt relieved at once when Kara’s tone of voice did not change to one of urgency. From what Kara was saying, Lena could tell that Alex figured out what was up with her almost instantly. Kara lowered her voice.

            “Good,” Lena heard Kara say.

            Kara was quiet for a rather prolonged paused.

            “Like the way it felt flying again for the first time,” Kara said.

            Lena sat grinning and closed her eyes. Kara got off the phone quickly after she said this. Kara came back looking a bit shy and also clearly relieved. They were lucky, Lena realized to get an entire day together this way. Kara sat down again and let out a breath slowly.

            “So I have to ask you,” Lena said and got Kara’s full attention. “How did you come to the conclusion that you were not good at sex?”

            “I got the impression I was a disappointment in the past,” Kara explained.

            “How?” Lena asked and then corrected herself. “Who?”

            “All the men I’ve dated never seemed all that pleased with me in general. My last boyfriend seemed pretty let down by the sex,” Kara said.

            “He was a jerk about sex?” Lena asked in clear surprise.

            “No, not – not exactly. He had been with lots and lots of women, and I hadn’t really been with anyone fully before. And I think he was disappointed,” Kara said.

            “Okay,” Lena said clearly still trying to comprehend.

            “He wasn’t totally direct about it. He just kind of conveyed a slow let down. All these little things that he said and did,” Kara said.

            “Were you let down by the sex?” Lena asked.

            “I mean, not at first. I thought it would keep getting better, though, keep changing. And it stayed really the same,” Kara said.

            “And that’s on you? You agreed with that?” Lena said.

            “I was less experienced, so I figured it almost had to be me,” Kara said.

            “Well, I mean, I wouldn’t say that I have been with a lot of women, but I think I qualify as highly experienced. A few of my lovers had not been with anyone else before we got together. I think if he came away disappointed, then he went into it the wrong way.”

            “I did sometimes think that maybe it was not so much me as that I continued to just be me. He always got bored easily,” Kara said.

            “Maybe he was boring himself,” Lena said dismissively.

            Kara did not know how to respond to that exactly. She did not really like talking about Mon-El. She wanted to begin all over and act as if he did not exist these days. He had done the same with her, so she thought that only fair.

            “I just want you to know, for the record, going into things in the future that you are entirely amazing at sex,” Lena said.

            “Thanks,” Kara said with a soft laugh. “That’s very sweet of you to say.”

            “I am so serious. My God,” Lena said, and she actually shivered.

            Even at the thought, Lena turned at once to bring her hand to Kara’s shoulder. She leaned over to kiss her. Within a few kisses, she came over and climbed into Kara’s lap. Kara got both arms around Lena’s waist to pull her in close and practically sighed into their kiss. She could feel already that they both had every intention of keeping one another up again for half the night. Nothing could have sounded better to her in this entire world.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Kara wants to forget her past love life and focus here on the present. But life rarely affords such courtesies, even to heroes. And old habits, as they say, die hard.


	8. Who will give Supergirl what she needs?

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Kara comes to her door to find Mon-El instead of Lena. Lena finds Kara already getting entangled with Mon-El again and leaves when Kara asks her. Alex gets worried and explains why to Maggie.

            Kara heard a knock on her door and came skipping over from her couch. She did not know what time Lena would show up to her place, and this seemed fairly early by her guess. Lena had been stuck with what she referred to as a “miserable business brunch” on this particular Saturday morning, and Kara had been entangled in DEO work the Friday night before. They had found over the several weeks since they had become lovers that they were decidedly _not_ good at making things quick or happy about cutting things off, so they tried to only get together in person when they were likely to have several hours together at a stretch. The result was that they rarely spent time together on weekdays. Kara felt her heartbeat pick up and not from her rapid steps as crossed the room. She peaked through the door.

            She stood frozen rather than reaching for the handle. Her heart kept on pounding, and now she also felt a pressure in the sides of her neck. Mon-El was standing in the hallway behind her door. For one irrational moment, Kara gazed over at her windows and considered bolting out. Eventually, he would go away. But if he was there, then he had come from some other planet to find her. She felt a sense of worry about why. Maybe he was in trouble. Besides, he would probably show up at the DEO or at CatCo later. She figured she might as well talk to him here at her place, where they could not get into it in front of people. She fairly pried open her door and stood stiff.

            “Hi!” Mon-El said with a grin and a wave.

            He moved a little closer, and Kara found herself moving back as he made his way into her apartment. He looked around and turned on his heel with his hands pressed into his pockets. He seemed so light and easygoing that Kara found herself a little embarrassed to feel even remotely this rattled by his presence. Maybe he was just stopping by. Maybe this was not a going to be some thing. That seemed unlikely, though.

            “You’re back on earth,” Kara said.

            “‘Back from outer space.’” Mon-El said with a grin and laughed, and when Kara could not smile, he added, “It’s from a song.”

            “What’s – uh – what’s up?” Kara said and tried not sound too terse.

            “Just in the neighborhood,” Mon-El said with a shrug.

            “Why are you back on earth?” Kara asked him quite directly.

            “I found that I left some of the best things behind,” Mon-El said.

            Kara did not feel good entirely about the sound of that statement. When another knock came on her door, she froze. Mon-El looked at her expectantly. Kara peaked through and went to open the door for Lena while making a deep sigh.

            “Hey!” Lena said lightly when Kara opened the door.

            “Hi,” Kara said as she stepped back.

            Lena was looking closely at Kara as she stepped inside. She could read Kara well enough that she did not startle when she looked up to find Mon-El standing there. Lena paused as Kara shut the door behind her.

            “Oh. It’s you,” Lena said.

            “Hi! I’m Mon-El,” he said and came to give her a friendly handshake.  

            “I’m Lena Luthor. We’ve met. More than once,” Lena said.

            “Oh, right! Luthor, right! The – the kidnapped one! Your mom, right? She kidnapped you? And Kara saved you right? Even though she might have been blown up by a kryptonite bomb in some guy’s chest.”

            Mon-El made the sound of an explosion, and Lena nodded merely. Lena turned to see Kara standing with her eyes closed in pain, silently working her lips. She could feel how uneasy Kara was about all of this.

            “What do you need here?” Lena asked Kara.

            Kara seemed to come and back to full consciousness. Her eyes moved back and forth between Lena and Mon-El several times. She touched her forehead with her fingertips.

            “Can we – can I get in touch with you later?” Kara said and her tone came out a little severe.

            “Sure. Let me just leave you with these,” Lena said.

            She handed Kara a white pastry box from inside her bag. The box was wrapped with several twines of thin white string. As Kara felt how heavy it was and guessed it was a box of cannoli. Lena had found out the last time they were together that Kara had never tried them before and been absolutely shocked. She became almost severe with the injustice of that. She expected they would become her new favorite and described them at length ending with the phrase “tiny bombs of calories,” and that part of her description alone had been enough to make Kara’s eyes sparkle.

            Lena went to the door. She gave Kara a soft smile and a gentle goodbye. Kara leaned her head into the edge of the door and watched Lena walk down the hallway, and then she stood back to close the door. She turned back to Mon-El.

            “You’re sleeping together, huh?” Mon-El said with a grin.

            His lighthearted tone and excited expression caught Kara a little off her guard. He meant less of a question by his statement and more of an acknowledgement of an obvious fact. She nodded a little bit.

            “I hope she likes it rough, then,” Mon-El joked.

            Kara’s stance distinctly hardened, and a heat broke out over her chest and throat. She swallowed down the rising anger burning in her body. Whatever he meant by this comment, Kara felt mad on top of that at finding herself so easily provoked.

            “I’m just – I’m just kidding, Kara,” Mon-El laughed as he read something of the change that had come over her.

            “Please – please tell me why you are here,” Kara managed to get out.

            “Okay. You caught me,” Mon-El said.

            Kara just stared hard at him waiting.

            “I have a fight coming, and you’re the only who can help me,” he said with a kind of shrug.

            Kara became almost relieved when he said those words. She sat down at her counter, shifting into the seat with a heavy sigh. She touched her forehead and took a deep breath once more.

            “Tell me what’s happening,” Kara said.

            “Do you want to maybe go out for a drink and catch up?” Mon-El asked.

            Kara placed her hand on the table out towards him.

            “Please, just tell me the truth right away. What’s happening? Who is after you?” Kara said.

            “Five bounty hunters from U-layla,” Mon-El said.

            That made sense to Kara. U-layla was a nearly waterless, hot planet known as a choice market for bounty hunting. Kara thought of asking why they were after him, but she did not entirely care or need to know.

            “Five?” Kara clarified.

            “They all work together as a unit. Two of them are brothers. Their leader is a Agoramat,” Mon-El said.

            Kara blinked at this. Agoramats had dwindled to only a handful, all scattered throughout galaxies. They were enormous, and their people had been a tribe of warriors. They made great fighters and excellent leaders, as well. A sharp anger rose up in Kara.

            “And you led them here to earth?” Kara said.

            “They’re at least a couple of hours behind me by earth time. I could take off,” Mon-El said.

            Kara sat in silence. He would never get enough help to take on a force like this anywhere else. She could probably not handle all five bounty hunters alone herself. This would take the two of them and maybe also a little luck.

            “I hoped maybe I could still come to you for help, cause if anyone knows – I mean – I know how you always love a good fight,” Mon-El said.

            Kara’s head titled forward into her hand. She took in and let out a deep breath. She turned her face up to see Mon-El. He smiled meekly already at the obvious fact that she was going to help him. She got out her phone to call Alex.

           

            Maggie got two bottles of fizzy juice from Alex’s fridge. She opened them and handed one over to Alex. Alex was still staring at her phone, obviously stressed.

            “So Mon-El is back,” Maggie said.

            “If he doesn’t leave soon, I will put him into a pod and toss him back into space _for_ Kara,” Alex said.

            “That excited about it, huh?” Maggie said.

            “I mean I do get why he reached out,” Alex said.

            “You’re worried about her, though? With him back here?” Maggie said.

            “I worry about her all the time,” Alex said.

            “You’re deflecting,” Maggie teased.

            “He just – he gets to Kara,” Alex said.

            “Are you thinking he’ll mess things up between her and Lena?” Maggie said surprised.

            “No. Well, maybe. I’m just worried,” Alex said.

            “Managing her ex is Kara’s responsibility,” Maggie said.

            “Is he, though?” Alex said irritated and snatched her drink.

            “I didn’t mean that like it sounded. She’s good at protecting things, your sister. She’ll be looking out for Lena and their relationship,” Maggie said.

            “I know. There’s always a cost when she becomes too entangled with other people’s stuff. Supergirl has a lot to keep watch over and safeguard. And she always gets involved when people foist their problems off on her,” Alex said.

            “Is that what happened with him before?” Maggie asked.

            “I think what happened before was my fault to an extent,” Alex said.

            “Their relationship ending?” Maggie asked.

            “No, more the beginning,” Alex said.

            “How’s that?” Maggie said.

            “I think I kind of made it seem like Kara was doing something wrong if she didn’t act on the attraction she felt towards him. I didn’t mean to make it seem that way. But I know I did.”

            “How’d that happen?”

            “I, uh, compared it with us for one thing.”

            Maggie could not hide her shock and horror at this. So instead she exaggerated it. Alex hid her face in one hand and made a nauseated sound. Maggie was laughing.

            “I am _almost_ hurt by that,” Maggie said.

            “I know,” Alex conceded.

            “Wow.”

            “That was not what I meant. I was trying to get Kara to be more assertive about what she wants. I have been watching her practically run away from that stuff her whole life.”

            “Relationships must be hard for her. I mean she has her family, and she has the people she works with as Supergirl. It must be crazy trying to date and having this whole secret life. That is one small, small town to be choosing partners in.”

            “That’s a good point. I’ve never quite considered it like that before.”

            “Does she have as much trouble breaking things off as she does getting into them?”

            “I would say that’s fair.”

            “They broke up because she found out he was a prince and could have done more to save people from his planet, right?”

            “Yes and no. I’m not sure why he revealed all that backstory when he did. They were in a bad place. Maybe he got desperate or it slipped. I don’t know.”

            “What could have clocked worse than finding that out?”

            “Not much.”

            “They had some big fight before, though, I remember you telling me about this.”

            “ _Yeah_. They did.”  

            “You know, you never actually told me what happened.”

            “I know. I wanted you to focus on being with your mom.”

            “Of course,” Maggie said in a tone of gratitude, since Alex had been so incredibly supportive as Maggie’s mother struggled through seemingly terminal cancer and made an unlikely recovery, “Also it’s hard to coax stuff out of you over the phone. By the time I got back, it was more or less settled and done. He had already been gone a couple weeks. Kara clearly _did not_ want people talking about it.”

            “Yeah. No shit. She still hardly talks about it.”

            “Tell me what happened now? Unless it’s like a secret.”

            “I mean, it kind of is. I don’t know how to tell it really, though, because literally everyone we know was there. You remember Harold Clay?”

            “Yeah, the diamond guy who heisted that Kryptonian laser tech and started selling it – the one with all those different alien bodyguards.”

            “Right. Well, the night we finally busted up his whole operation, that’s the night that Kara and Mon-El were over _._ ”

            “They ended it at work and in front of everyone?”

            “Sort of, yeah. James had finally brought into the DEO as Guardian. The vigilante thing was really getting too dangerous for him.”

            “Uh, because the cops knew he was black after the sleeve of his armor got ripped off? Man, do I remember.”

            “Mon-El did not like James being brought on for whatever reason. Maybe because James was Kara’s ex or maybe not, I don’t know. They had all these spats. It got ridiculous.   So, that night, they had a real disagreement about how the people going on foot should enter the building. And Mon-El ended up getting impatient and just crashing through a window.

            “He gave up our element of surprise when he barreled in. So we had to just follow in after him and slug it out. He took on the brunt of the firefight himself, of course, but people were scattering everywhere and the building was like a labyrinth, so he couldn’t handle everyone on his own. And he knew that was how it would be going in. We all knew.

            “James was absolutely furious. He thought Mon-El was responsible for three of our people being shot. No one died, but that wasn’t clear at the time. And Mon-El would not take _any_ responsibility. J’onn and Kara came out of the building through the roof and flew down to rejoin us, and the guys were right in the middle of it and didn’t notice. Mon-El kind of stepped up to James and said something, just something dumb like about how he was going to punch James in the face. And before James could answer, it was like something just broke inside of Kara.

            “I mean I know from past experiences that she has these triggers that can go off when people she loves get threatened. But, seriously, Maggie, Kara lost it completely. I have never seen her like that before or since. There was just something that moment – about Mon-El threatening James. I’ve though maybe it was timing in part. It was literally right after a dangerous mission where she knew some of our people got hurt, and maybe it was all the worry we had been feeling about James in those months before still lingering in Kara.

            “I don’t think that Mon-El would actually have hit James. I really don’t. But Kara went after Mon-El. I remember her yelling, ‘How dare you threaten my friend!’ and then all this other stuff that came out almost incoherent. James and I met eyes both in absolute shock, and then we started trying to get Kara to back away. And Mon-El was _not_ helping. He was making it worse – blaming Kara for taking James’s side, when she did not see what had happened. Seriously, Kara was basically dragging me and James both to get at Mon-El. I think she might have really hit him and gotten into a fight right there on the street. J’onn came and got his arms around her, and he pulled her back. Winn finally came running, and he got Mon-El to back away and go off with him. With all of us trying, Kara finally came back to herself a little and walked away. She took James with her. I could hear James over the comms, trying to calm her down. She was listening to him, but she kept looking back over her shoulder. She was almost made paranoid, like the rest of us would have let Mon-El run up behind them and get to James. I don’t think she trusted any of us right then.”

            “Holy shit, Alex.”

            “Yeah.”

            “ _That_ is a break up.”

            “Honestly, the rest of us were going to blow it off. But J’onn took all of what happened that night incredibly seriously. There was press at the scene. And J’onn had to go around and alter everyone’s memory and take away all the footage. He said he did not want DEO agents much less Supergirl in a widely publicized domestic dispute. He told me much later that he had informed Kara that there were too many personal feelings getting mixed up at the DEO, and they weren’t strengthening bonds anymore. He decided that James could stay but Mon-El had to go, and it wasn’t up for debate, he had just decided. He also explicitly asked Kara to break it off with Mon-El. And he asked her if she didn’t think herself that it was time.”

            “What a boss.”

            “I am still so shocked that Hank did that. He does not like to get involved. I didn’t get that their relationship was so messed up until Mon-El left. I’ve never seen her cry like that. But afterwards, she just didn’t miss him. I think Winn did to some degree. He would mention him sometimes. But the rest of us were mostly relieved. Kara had Guardian backing her up, and she and James got closer. James felt bad at first. He felt like he was causing trouble at the DEO and disappointing Kara, and Kara made it clear that she did not see it that way. I thought those two would finally really start dating, but they didn’t. Probably being each other’s bosses at their two jobs wasn’t great for making them fit together romantically. They’re both really sensitive about that kind of stuff.”

            “Well, things worked out in the end. Kara got what she needed most, a trustworthy partner on her missions. James is the best.”

            “Yes. He is. But she also stayed single,” Alex said.

            “Nothing wrong with that.”

            “Except for how much she did not want to be. I wish we’d kept Mon-El like separate from work and serious stuff. Maybe? I don’t know. Maybe I wish he’d just never showed up at all.”

            “How does Kara feel?”

            “She doesn’t talk about it, and I can’t totally read her. I try to leave her alone. She has a lot of pride in her own way. I think she feels like a failure.”

            “Oh, come on. That is so unfair.”

            “I agree with you. But I am not Kara. She has a vision for herself and the world. Those ideals she holds are beautiful and compelling. And she hurts in this deep way when she doesn’t live up to them, which honestly does not happen often.”

            “You are both massive perfectionists. I mean I know you two are total badasses. But I wish you could tone that stuff down a little and not lose anything except a lot of self-blame. Your parents got one or two wires crossed and forgot to teach you how to handle having limitations with grace.”

            “Defying limitations is our specialty.”

            “Truer words have never. Tell your little sister she’s the best from me. Let me know if I can help with any of this current mess.”

            “Thanks. Hopefully, this will blow over quickly. Luck happens sometimes,” Alex said with little hope in her voice.

            “Maybe,” Maggie said also unconvinced.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Kara asked Lena to go, and now she's tangled up with Mon-El's troubles. How will Kara protect her relationship with Lena and protect Mon-El? Who will step in to help Kara with so much falling onto her shoulders?


	9. Who does Supergirl love?

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The fight with Mon-El against the bounty hunters does not go well for Kara. James and Winn run into Mon-El in the alien bar, and James shows his anger in public. Kara apologizes to Lena and tries to address their damaged connection.

            Kara spent all day Saturday beside Mon-El out in open areas carefully chosen by the DEO to reduce the risk of collateral damage to persons and property and nondescript enough to make the bait appear worth taking. At nightfall, their first encounter with the bounty hunters rained down on them with no notice. The team worked together incredibly well, while Kara and Mon-El were set in dissonance with one another. Kara caught sight of only four bounty hunters. She never saw the Agoramat. Both sides ended up with nothing to show for the conflict. Mon-El seemed delighted that they had fought them off. Kara felt suddenly incredibly tired.    

            Even though she knew it was useless, Kara told Mon-El to stay out in public. She hoped that they could draw the bounty hunters out once more. She circled the city. Alex and the DEO team tried to search for their ship, but they had little to go on. They finally got a lead through the police force, and Kara and Mon-El went to try and take the ship in the middle of the night. The entire vessel was sealed shut with flawless security, and even together Kara and Mon-El could not wrench a panel from the hull. Mon-El tried to break into the ship with an impromptu slugfest, and unable to stop him before the sounds rang through the ship, Kara jumped in, and she mangled a portion of the ship. Still, they lifted off, and Kara followed them, but they were smart and waited to get her lined up, and then the engines blew her back too far keep sight of them. She had to come back to the ground, and she just sat where she landed in the midst of a park and fell over flat on her back and lay there as if dead, wishing that none of this were happening.

            They came back to the DEO. Kara felt angry and embarrassed by their failure. Mon-El went around greeting everyone with the stale warmth of a visiting diplomat and acted like he had missed all of them, even though Kara felt pretty certain that he did not actually remember any of them except for Winn. James barely even acknowledged Mon-El when he saw him at the DEO in passing. By the time Kara heard that they had seen one another and began to worry, James was already gone.

            Kara fed as much information to Winn as she could about the ship. Nothing helped him find a way to locate it. Finally, Winn had an idea. If they could not do new school, they would try old school. He put out a handful of posts on UFO watch sights and related platforms saying that a rare ship had been spotted in National City. The ship was big enough, he felt certain that some nerd would find it and eventually post something online. Winn left. The rest of the team was monitoring the situation. Kara wanted someone, anyone to come up with more for them to do. No one could.

            Alex dragged Kara away to force her to eat. She seemed distressed over how quiet Kara was the entire time. She kept reaching over to rub her back, and Kara just sat heavy and almost unresponsive. Even touch could not bring her to her usual self, and that worried Alex. She tried to get her to talk a little bit, knowing it was useless. Kara was tired. She could not explain to Alex how tired she was. Alex asked about Lena. Kara had texted Lena, and they seemed fine. But every exchange felt dry and strained like they were offering one another a courtesy from a far distance. Talking about it made Kara feel worse, until she found herself almost numb inside.

            They did not have any new options for her in the control room. Kara had to get out of the DEO. So she told Mon-El to head out and stay visible anywhere in public. J’onn did not like that. Kara argued with him on this one. At this point, they had a hostile force somewhere in the city. The bounty hunters knew now that Mon-El had an ally, and they had seen Supergirl. They were not thugs. They were trained hunters working as a unit, and they would learn more about Supergirl and who she was. Soon they would have a hostage situation on their hands. J’onn had to agree to that. Kara circled over the city to keep a look out for the ship.

            Mon-El walked around and eventually came to the alien bar. Some people there recognized him and greeted him. James and Winn were playing pool in the back. James had encouraged Winn to learn to play well enough to at least lose with dignity the same way that he always did. Being bad at something together actually allowed them both to laugh and relax. Mon-El came, and he and Winn started in together. James merely made a rough nod to Mon-El. He left the table to go and settle their tab at the bar, planning already to leave.

            When he looked back, Mon-El had his arm around Winn’s neck, and they were laughing. James shook his head at that. He stood waiting at the bar and remembering the only time he actually got to see how Kara actually felt about what happened between her and Mon-El. They had been through a rough week, and they were at work late at CatCo catching up. They were standing on the balcony getting some air and a little break. They were talking about losses, and James felt inclined to finally ask Kara how she had been feeling. She had not said a single word about Mon-El in the nearly four weeks he had been gone.

            “So how you feeling? About Mon-El?” James had asked Kara.

            Kara clearly did not expect his abrupt question. She glanced over at him and for a second James worried that she might get mad. Instead, she seemed to grow almost perplexed and at a loss for words. She was obviously trying to think this through that very moment to say something. She seemed to slowly crack open instead, until she ended up sobbing. James put his arms around Kara and held onto her while she wept.

            “It’s okay,” James had said to her. “It’s going to be okay. The rest of us are still here. We’re right here beside you, Kara. None of us are going anywhere. We’re with you to the end.”

            He remembered how Kara’s body felt when it was shaking with grief. The contrast with all the times he had felt her body poised and stronger than steel as she was lifting him out of danger had not been lost on James. He never thought Mon-El was worth all of that. He only smiled when he thanked the bartender by choice.

            “Hey, I’m out,” James said to Winn as he gathered his jacket and side bag.

            “Oh, no!” Winn was saying.

            “Don’t leave on my behalf,” Mon-El said.

            “Actually, I’m leaving on my own behalf, Mon-El, but thank you for that gracious offer,” James said.

            “You should probably go. I’ve got to stay out all night. We wouldn’t want to disappoint Kara would we?” Mon-El said.

            “And what is that supposed to mean?” James said quite calm.

            “Oh, you know, Kara wants us to all keep in line and follow orders. Keep her city tidy. Hey, thanks for your all your help by the way,” Mon-El said.

            “For what exactly?” James said.

            “You know for breaking me and Kara up. That’s was awesome of you, man. I couldn’t have done it without you,” Mon-El said.

            “You know, Mon-El, I _know_ that you think that – I know that you do. But you someday you are going to have to grow up and face responsibility for your life and your own choices,” James said.

            Mon-El stood up. The bartender had been watching. She got nervous. She came over to ask them to take this outside, before it could get heated. James saw how concerned she seemed. He apologized to her gently and went out into the night air. The door opened, and he realized that Mon-El had followed him out. James stood up straight. Winn followed behind Mon-El.

            “You wanted to take this outside, then?” Mon-El asked.

            James had been buttoning his jacket. The sight of Mon-El’s cocky stance made him vividly angry. The fact that he had been trying to leave made Mon-El’s flippant air and disrespect feel all the more absurd. James suddenly found that he had listened to enough of Mon-El’s talk without saying a word to last him a lifetime. James had changed since he had become the Guardian and learned that he could truly stand beside Supergirl to save people in trouble and even watch her back at times. He did not need to be in the lead in order to take on a fight. What he needed was to never standby and do nothing in a world full of heroes fighting battles that no one could rightly ask them to risk. Maybe this here was not his fight, but somehow, James knew that this was still Kara’s fight that never should have landed on her shoulders and probably a burden to many people he did not know about besides. He lost his will to stand back and hold his anger about injustices inside.

            “Oh, you think I want to fight you, super boy?” James said, and Mon-El was visibly taken aback by his tone of voice. “Take some mac truck alien punch to try to prove something to myself? Or to you? That’s what you think this is? Me trying to assert myself over you or save face by being willing to try?”

            “What do you want if not to show me up?” Mon-El said. “You’ve been picking a fight with me every since we met. You always wanted to make me look bad in front of Kara. You never wanted us to be together. You wanted my place on the team. You were always jealous of me and wanting what I had. You just aren’t willing to own up to it.”

            “Oh, please,” James said shaking his head. “You know, Mon-El, if you weren’t so self-focused, you would realize that Kara and I had a history together that started long before you arrived. So it was never _my_ place to get involved or assert opinions about her love life. But I realize now that I never should have been so nice and hands off with you. You got a pass from me, because of how she felt about you. And that did not do anyone any good, especially not you. You know my father used to say, if you respect a man, then you expect from a man. That’s how he always treated me with expectations that I would live up to. Clearly, nobody ever expected much from you, and they should have. I mean, you have potential on a scale that’s almost unheard of on this entire planet, and grade school teachers do far more on given week than you have done collectively up until now.  

            “What did you think was going to happen between you and Kara? Did you not even know how to think about the consequences of your choices? From what I’ve seen, no – you just barrel in and wade through whatever wreckage you’ve caused like it’s some natural disaster just happening around you. What, you think you get to interfere with a woman’s friendships and mess up her work life, and she’s just going keep on being with you and be happy? Like you are such a damn prize that she should trade everything and make compromises just to be with you? All those months, did you not recognize the hundred chances she kept on giving you? Come on, man. Get some humility or some perspective, at least. You want to get down with Supergirl, you should know that you have got to step up! Nobody should have to spell that out for you.

            “You have to deserve what it is you want on your own merits. You had what you wanted, Mon-El. Kara _was_ your girlfriend, and half this city would have jumped off a building to get what you did _not_ know how to _not_ take granted, even though you knew that you didn’t deserve it. And now, you get to go off and travel through an entire galaxy in search of women with powers and insights the rest of us don’t even know exist. And you’re set to waste all that, too, just like you wasted what you had here on earth. They’re all going to start out intrigued by the handsome prince with the tragic past, and then they’re going to eventually figure out what kind of man you are inside. You have no kingdom under your feet now. You are just the substance of what you carry around inside of your _self_. Everywhere you go will be the same. And if that’s hard for you to experience, spend some time looking in a damn mirror and don’t blame _anybody_ else for that.

            “You think I could have messed things up for you here. I never had that power. My relationship to Kara is my priority and something I cherish. Your relationship to Kara should have been your priority, not whatever rivalry you felt with me, and not your damned ego. If you lost something you had, you get to own that. Your life is _your_ responsibility. And what’s more, as far I understand, you started out responsible for hundreds of thousands of lives, and you completely failed to protect all of those. Eventually, you are going to have to own that, too. Not Kara and not any woman who exists can possibly relieve you of that. They can’t go back and change the past for you. You will have to make amends for your past on your own. Maybe if you were willing to give your life in service to _that_ mission, then you would actually deserve the help all of these people who are so willing to give to support you.”

            “You don’t know what my life has been like!” Mon-El said in retort.

            “Oh, don’t I, though? I see how you treat other people. You’re used to being carried, and you don’t like pulling your own weight, much less being expected to lift anyone else up. You don’t know how to think outside yourself,” James said.

            “You think you’re some hero now, but you are just puffing yourself up to impress Kara,” Mon-El said.

            “Oh, come on, man! Listen to yourself. Kara respects me! I feel that in my deepest heart. You think you can possibly reach down far enough to tarnish that? She loves me, man! Hell, she loves everyone! Including you somehow. The only real question is who honors that gift and loves and respects her back,” James said.  

            The two of them were yelling at each other openly, and a cop dressed in uniform crossed the street to come over to them. He had a hand already resting on his gun, which made Winn step back when he saw.

            “Guys. Guys,” Winn said.

            The cop came over. Mon-El and James turned to see him. James stepped back a little, and Mon-El looked to see the cop and simply stood his ground, oblivious as to why James responded in the way he did.

            “There something going on here that you got to raise your voice about?” the cop said to James.

            Winn gaped as James began to make a contrite response with his hands held up in front of him. Winn could not handle that. He stepped up to the cop, even though he shifted towards Winn with a slight crouch and his hand still on his gun.

            “Hooh! Really? You’re gonna’ talk to my black friend and not my white friend? Seriously?” Winn said.

            At that moment, Kara landed behind them. Everyone turned to see her standing there. Her eyes were burning, and her back was held slightly arched, ready for a fight. The cop recognized Supergirl, and he suddenly realized that he was probably standing near aliens. He backed away and left the matter to her.

            “What’s going on here?” Kara said.

            “Nothing, Kara. We’re done,” James said. “We were just talking some stuff out. Some things needed air,” and he turned to Mon-El to ask, “We are done, right?”

            “Yeah, we’re done,” Mon-El said.

            James turned and walked away. His agitation was still apparent. Winn rubbed the back of his head and made a deep, anxious sigh. Mon-El was watching James walk away. Kara was watching Mon-El.

            “Come on, Mon-El,” Kara said.

            “It’s fine, Kara,” Mon-El said.

            His voice came out soft. Kara’s stance straightened a bit. Her lack of trust in Mon-El was so blatant that he noticed and had to say more.

            “I’m not going to do anything dumb or messed up,” Mon-El said. “Are you up there keeping tabs on me? Shouldn’t you be looking for the ship so we can find our real enemies sometime soon?”

            “Winn is still wearing his work comm,” Kara said flatly.  

            “Oh, geeze, would you look at that,” Winn said.

            “I just heard raised voices, and then none of you answered my calls,” Kara said.

            “Sorry if we worried you,” Winn said.

            They all stood there a moment in silence. Kara was angry. And she was silent.

            “He doesn’t mean all that stuff as an insult,” Winn said to Mon-El.

            “Yeah, I get that,” Mon-El said.

            “Let’s go back in and have a drink,” Winn said.

            Mon-El nodded in agreement. The two of them went towards the bar. Winn turned around and made Kara a little wave. He had clicked on his comm link to get her to show up, she knew. He must have been scared about how the exchange was going to go. Now he seemed to think that things were fine, and she trusted his judgment. She waited until they reached the bar and James was far away from the sound of his distinct steps, and then she lifted off.

 

            Kara continued to search, until her exhaustion and corresponding misery over the frustration at not knowing how long this would stretch out made her unfocused. She was no good as a look out at this point. She knew that Mon-El was with Winn, so she would know if anything blew up. That would be some luck if it did. She was not expecting to get any.

            Kara found herself incredibly nervous even before she touched down softly on Lena’s balcony. Lena was inside, standing in front of her desk, staring down at something. She rocked on her heel and had clearly been pacing. When she saw Kara, she barely managed a smile. Kara swallowed and stretched her shoulders as Lena came to let her inside.

            “Hi,” Lena said.

            “Hey,” Kara said as she came through the door.

            She reached to hold Lena’s hand briefly. Lena’s expression was almost impossible for Kara to read. That made her feel even worse than before. She was not that tired. She had gotten used to reading Lena so easily. Something had changed, and she did not know precisely yet what it was. Lena moved across the room and stood searching Kara’s face, as well.

            “Have you been all right?” Lena asked with a clear flicker of worry in her face.

            “I came to apologize. I’m really sorry for –“ Kara said.

            “For what?” Lena asked her in obvious astonishment.

            She studied Kara with greater concern.

            “Asking you to leave, blowing off our plans… ” Kara began.

            “Quite clearly, you had your hands full,” Lena said.

            “I’m just – I’m sorry,” Kara said and shook her head.

            Lena came and reached out to squeeze Kara’s shoulder. Lena looked so tired, and Kara felt what felt almost the resonance of Lena’s exhaustion echo in her own body. Lena went over to sit heavily on her couch, and Kara followed her over and sat down. She nearly rested her head in her hands. She was sat at the edge of the couch, and her body felt tense and anxious from even this brief rest she was taking. She wanted to get this all over with.

            “You seem… worn out,” Lena said.

            “I – I don’t suppose there’s any justification for disappearing with an ex,” Kara started, and Lena’s look became vividly worried.

            “You’re disappearing?” Lena said.

            “No, I just mean before,” Kara said.

            Lena sat looking over at Kara. She seemed a little perplexed and uncertain of what to say. She kept looking over Kara’s body and face, as if trying to decipher the meaning of some subtle change that had come over her.

            “You don’t have anything to worry about. I mean, I’m not – there’s nothing there between us anymore,” Kara said.

            “I am worried. Of course, I am. That’s not quite the case, is it? You’re helping him with something now? Something dangerous? Are you really doing okay?” Lena said.

            “I mean, I’m just trying to make sure you know that I’m with you. I mean I know this must look bad. I promise I am not choosing Mon-El over you,” Kara said.

            “Oh.” Lena, and she almost laughed a little. “I had not seen this as a – as a rivalry. I guess it never occurred to me to consider this as some kind of love triangle. I can’t say that I’m especially concerned that you would suddenly break things off with me to get involved with an ex who obviously left you feeling like you weren’t much to lose in the first place. I will be if you tell that I should be, that’s for certain.”  

            “No. You absolutely should not be worried. I’m – ugh,” Kara felt relieved and also frustrated. “Honestly, I’m embarrassed for you to even have to see this side of me.”

            “What? What side is that?” Lena asked confused.

            Kara had become speechless. She meant the part of her that had ever dated Mon-El. That felt obvious like something she could not hide even if she tried. The confusion on Lena’s face made her realize that maybe she was mixed up about this.

            “Are you doing okay?” Lena repeated.

            “Yeah. Yeah,” Kara said.

            “This can’t possibly be easy for you,” Lena said.

            Kara almost scoffed a little at that. Lena looked hard at her, reading her expression closely.   She felt that Lena should be mad at her about all this. Clearly, she was not – she was worried about Kara. That was just too nice. She sat a little bit stunned and actually wanted to argue with Lena. She was all mixed up over this exchange.

            “I think it should be,” Kara said candidly.

            “What does that mean, Kara?” Lena asked her in a soft tone.

            “You don’t think I should be handling this better?” Kara asked and turned to her.

            Kara’s eyes were wide. She was sitting up a little more. Her back was still curved as if her shoulders were heavy.

            “I mean, you seem… tired… and stressed… and vulnerable to me. I’m sure you’re doing the best you with the situation. Who you’re with… well, it’s… it’s exhausting to be around people who aren’t safe,” Lena said.

            “What do you mean?” Kara asked, a little confused.

            “I mean Mon-El. Obviously, you’re working with him with something. It can’t be easy working with something like that, especially someone you have a history with,” Lena said.

            Kara sat thinking hard. She took in a deep breath. Lena had been raised by the Luthor family. So Kara could not take her calling Mon-El not safe lightly. She took Lena's opinion too seriously. Kara considered for a long time. She kept blaming herself for taking Mon-El so seriously.

            “Tell me, what – what do you think of him?” Kara asked with her brows furrowed.  

            “What do I think of him? I mean… I think… he’s… an abusive, entitled asshole. I’ve met a lot of men like him, especially during college,” Lena said.

            Lena smiled a bit and made Kara an almost apologetic shrug. Kara stared over at her face. She would have cried maybe if she had been less tired and did not feel like she would be burdening Lena unjustly.

            “I figure there must be something more there, some side of him that I have not seen. There must have been something you liked about him for you to get involved, some basis of compatibility,” Lena said.

            “Maybe not, no,” Kara said.

            “Well, then, I guess… sometimes we just want what we want, and there’s no sense to be made from it,” Lena offered.

            “I don’t want – I don’t want anymore of what we had. I am still way more attracted to James, honestly,” Kara admitted.

            “Was that how it was when you were together?” Lena asked her, and her eyes sharpened as she looked at Kara, as if she were gaining a sudden insight.

            The vividly distressed look that came into Kara’s face offered a rather clear answer to Lena’s question.

            “Why did you decide to get with him then and not James?” Lena asked her rather softly.

            “James is – he’s beautiful to me. He’s so important,” Kara more or less stammered, and she nearly grimaced, as if pained by this admission.

            “Isn’t that how you recognize who you want?” Lena asked.

            “If something happened to James, I would just – I know I would break. I would never be the same after. Sometimes, I feel like I have gone through too many losses. The next one will take away whatever good I held onto so far and manage to take that away from me at last,” Kara said.

            “But how does not dating him somehow safeguard James? Being close to you is probably the safest place on earth,” Lena asked.

            “I didn’t know that James would go out on the streets fighting. He took risks as a journalist, but they were never on the same scale. If he had ties to me, he would have become a target. That was inevitable,” Kara said.

            “And you wouldn’t let him decide whether to take on the risks,” Lena said.

            “It was all… so complicated in my mind. I didn’t have a handle on everything I was feeling. I knew I felt betrayed when I found out about Guardian. But I didn’t understand that fully at the time. Things were all piling on top of one another,” Kara said.

            “Including your feelings for Mon-El?” Lena asked.

            “Including Mon-El’s arrival, yeah. He was the last survivor of his planet, as far as we knew then. That felt so huge to me,” Kara said.

            “You two must have had a strong connection because of that right away,” Lena said.  

            “I don’t know if we did, honestly. Not like you would think. I mean, I knew that he never took me all that seriously. He doesn’t take anything seriously. Maybe himself in like some ways, but not really,” Kara said.      

            “How was that appealing to you, though? You take everyone seriously, no matter who or what they are. You practically embody the definition of reverence,” Lena said with a soft, almost laugh.

            “I thought we fit. I didn't even like the fit. I just thought I'd never find it with anyone else. I think that somewhere in the back of my mind, I had always fantasized about finding someone that I just couldn’t hurt,” Kara said.

            “Kara,” Lena breathed, soft and almost grave.

            Lena moved over and reached to hold Kara’s hand. Kara held Lena’s hand back softly and felt an indistinguishable comfort. Kara rested her other hand over her eyes and leaned into her arm with her elbow on her knee. She sat back up after a long time and sighed.

            Kara probably should go now. Lena must have felt the shift in Kara. She went and got a full glass of water and handed it to Kara. Kara swallowed hard at the tenderness of that gesture, and she took a deep breath and then drank the entire glass of water down easily. She must have been thirsty. She wondered if she was hungry. She could not tell anymore, but she ought to go and find some food to make sure and set out on her search again.

            When Kara stood up, Lena had gone back to her desk and was eying the papers scattered over it. She had nudged her laptop to start up the screen. Lena looked over, clearly waiting for Kara to leave. The way they held back from touching did not feel familiar anymore to Kara, but it made perfect sense, as well. Lena probably imaged that Kara pushed her aside easily when Mon-El turned up. Lena did not seem angry, but the connection they had before felt missing, as if it had been disrupted. They could get it back, Kara felt sure, once she got this current mess out of the way. She took a deep breath and thought for a moment with her hand on her hip. There was little else to say for now, until she could get her life back again.

            “Lena, I – I hope you know that I love you,” Kara told her just to make sure.

            Lena had been turned a little, looking down at her desk. Kara found herself astonished by the depths to which Lena was apparently taken aback by her words. She practically startled physically. She saw how rapidly Lena hid her expression as best she could. Kara blinked at her in sheer astonishment. She had felt terrified, Kara was sure, and hidden this at once. Kara listened to find Lena’s heart racing.

            “What do you want from me?” Lena asked.

            Lena did not look at Kara. She stared down at the floor. Lena’s hand came up, and she pressed her fingers to her forehead. Kara’s mouth was held a little open in shock. On instinct, she crossed the room to come closer to Lena. Lena looked at her vividly panicked. Kara reached out carefully to take her hand. Lena swallowed several times, nearly crying. Kara gently brought her close to hold her in an embrace.

            “Hey. Hey,” Kara said softly and rubbed Lena’s back, “What’s going on?”

            Lena held her back. Lena was crying and fighting this. She did not seem focused on Kara. She did not seem focused on anything. Something had gone terribly wrong. Kara could see now that this was the shape of what she had been missing in Lena’s mood and how unreadable she felt before. She led Lena back over to the couch and sat her down. Kara pushed her cape back to kneel down before Lena. She took both of Lena’s hands in her own. She held Lena’s hands in her own steady hands and looked down to see them shaking vividly.

            “What’s happened, Lena?” Kara asked.

            “I’m sorry – I…” Lena began to say and lost her voice.

            “Tell me,” Kara coaxed her softly.

            “I only – I did not mean to bring this up with you. You have your own mess to deal with. I found a leak in my security. I’ve been trying to track it back to find the source,” Lena said.

            “Tell me everything,” Kara said with gravity.

            “The driving service that I use. I noticed they sent the same model of car several times in a row. That’s unusual for them. We agreed on a different driver and a different car. Their patterns aren’t truly random, but they’re usually pretty mixed. So I put a bug – a little tracker on the car that came too often. The license plates changed, but they sent that same car a few times in a row. I figure that it was bugged. I switched to another company quietly, and that exact same car showed up. I got a private investigator to go in and buy details on a purchase that happened overnight. There’s no doubt that someone is tracking me,” Lena said.

            “Who?” Kara said, and she caught herself before she could say the words _your mother_ and instead said, “Lillian Luthor?”

            “I think so. Kara, I – if it’s her, I think she knows about us. She could even know who you are. I’m sorry for bringing all of this up now. I don’t know anything definitive. I…” Lena said.  

            “Lena, look,” Kara interrupted her softly, “Listen to me. If we’re going to be together, I need you to promise to reach out to me whenever you need me, no matter what else is happening. I need to know that I can’t lose you – that you won’t let that happen.”

            “Nothing has – nothing has happened with this,” Lena said.

            “Something has clearly happened to you,” Kara said.

            “I could well be overreacting,” Lena said.

            “I trust your instincts. I think you should, too,” Kara said.

            Lena closed her eyes for a long moment. She swallowed. Her adrenaline was coming down.

            “I’ll ask Alex to increase the watch,” Kara said.

            Kara sat back on her heels and called Alex with one hand still rested over Lena’s hands in her lap. They were hardly shaking anymore. Kara looked over Lena’s expression with her heart burning in her chest. She gave Alex quick update, and she hung up.

            “Alex is going to come here now.  Maggie is coming with her.  They want you to show them everything you have.  They’ll probably ask you – would you mind keeping close patterns for a while?” Kara said.

            “I can do that. You should – you probably should go,” Lena said.

           "Are you - will you be scared of them?  They're on your side," Kara asked.  

           "I'd accept almost anyone's help with this," Lena said.  

            “You are not alone in this anymore.  They'll give me an update.  But you will keep me posted on this?  From your end?  Please?” Kara asked her severely.  

            “Yes, I – I promise I will,” Lena said.

            They stood up and embraced one another fully. Kara wanted to tell Lena how much she loved her. Her words before had startled Lena enough that she did not possibly dare. She held her close instead in silence. She hoped Lena could feel her love all the same. She gave her a long and steady look, and Lena smiled to her softly.

            “We’re in this together,” Kara said.

            Lena put her hand on the center of Kara’s chest. Kara put her hand over hers. She brought it up to kiss the back of it once. She watched Lena’s eyes soften, and she saw how the touch made her swallow. Kara smiled a little at that.

            “Let me go square away this mess,” Kara said.

            “Godspeed,” Lena joked lightly.

            When they let go, Kara bee lined for the balcony. She would find this damned ship if it meant turning this city upside down. She would not rest until this was settled and her focus was back where it should have been all along.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Kara and Mon-El need to get rid of the bounty hunters, before they can take any hostages. Lena's security leak looms over her. What will happen when our hero's fight becomes divided?


	10. Who could ever prove as brave as Supergirl?

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Kara takes the fight to protect Mon-El onto the alien ship. When she returns, CAMUS has made a move. When faced with impossible choices and terrible loss, how will Supergirl win the day?

            Kara went to work at CatCo on Monday morning, even though she was practically useless. Mon-El was down on the street level and kept out in plain site, as he moved from one café’s outdoor seating over to another and chatted with various strangers. When he got bored enough, he ignored Kara’s forceful instructions and brought up an enormous hot chocolate and a meal for Kara. She only sighed and told him thank you. She did not even bother to follow him as she wandered through the rest of the floor. She vaguely listened to the small talk he made with the interested women around the office to ensure that she did not hear James’s voice in the mix. If he had not carefully bypassed James’s office, she very well might have dragged him to the elevator bodily and sent him down.

            Once he had gone back down on his own, she focused as best she could on her work and waited. Mon-El had the equivalent of a panic button on him, and even though she trusted him to get her help, she found herself listening down to the street anyways in worry that something would go wrong. So she did not even need to see the red light ignite in warning. She heard the sound of a metal net hurling through the air and capturing Mon-El, and she shot up to the roof and got down to the street in a handful of seconds. The fight erupted around her and inside of her with a sense of profound release.

            They had made a mistake using metal nets. Kara deflected them with great puffs of air, and she got one of them tangled up. Once one of them was tied down, the others fought as much to liberate him as they did to capture Mon-El. They would never have left one another behind, Kara realized. She got the chance to rend the net and liberate Mon-El. The material strained the muscles across her chest and left her astonished. So she used the broken pieces to tie two others. Eventually, she had all four bounty hunters wrapped up and defenseless. Four, Kara said to herself. Only four. She went and sat down on the edge of a fountain, and many bystanders snapped photos of Supergirl sitting with her head held in her hands.

            The cops showed up and cleared the area. Maggie was one of the first to respond. She was the only one unafraid of the strange bounty hunters that everyone assumed were aliens underneath their armor and helmets. She sat the four captives up and kept them separate from one another. She removed what she recognized as their comms, and she checked to ensure that they were not seriously injured. She came stood with her hand on Kara’s shoulder.

            “Are you hurt?” Maggie asked down perplexed.

            “We aren’t done yet,” Kara said.

            Maggie glanced at Mon-El. She raised an eyebrow and gave Kara a baffled look. Kara stood up and took in a deep breath.

            “There are five bounty hunters. The leader isn’t here,” Kara explained.

            Maggie’s expression cleared up at that. She nodded in shared frustration. Their DEO back up arrived, and Maggie went over to meet them. They got the four bounty hunters loaded into the backs of trucks. Kara flew behind to keep watch. They made DEO headquarters without an incident. Nothing could have depressed Kara more than their easy arrival. She sat in the control room, practically draped into a chair. Her head was hanging back, as she listened to all the uninspired chatter about what to do next. Alex came to put her hands on both of Kara’s shoulders.

            “I should get back to CatCo,” Kara said.

            “James called, and you’re covered,” Alex said.

            “Well, I’m useless here,” Kara said.

            “You’re not useless. You’re essential,” Alex said flatly.

            Kara got up after only a minute. She went and found J’onn with the bounty hunters. At least they did not have to try to get them to talk.

            “They’re not scared. They trust their leader get them out. They think she’s smart and strong enough to overcome all of us, even you, even with what they’ve seen. And they don’t know where the ship is now,” J’onn told Kara before she asked.  

            Kara stared at them through the glass. They did not look scared. They looked proud. J’onn’s hand came to rest a hand on her shoulder.

            “Get some sleep here while you can. We’ll keep watch. Even if we don’t find a move to make, I don’t think we have much longer to wait with these four here. She’ll be in touch with us soon,” J’onn said.

            Kara told Alex where she would be. She went to an equipment room that smelled of gun oil and lay on a hard bench. She fell into a dreamless and meager sleep. She awoke to Alex’s voice speaking soft and urgent at the door. She sprang up and barely got her mind going as she followed her into the control room. Both pictures and live footage of the ship were up on the screens. The ship was in plain sight in an empty industrial space on the edge of the city. The gangplank was down. Spectators and press were swarming.

            “I don’t suppose she forgot and left the door open,” J’onn said.

            “That’s an invitation,” Kara said.

            “No kidding,” J’onn said.

            “You’re not going in there without back-up,” Alex said.

            “I’ve got Mon-El,” Kara said.

            “I mean _real_ back-up!” Alex barked.

            “She’s not,” James’s voice said.

            “That – that is a death trap,” Winn finished saying.

            James had on his Guardian suit. Everyone’s stubborn looks rose up like walls of steel around Kara. She considered them all for a long moment.

            “I can handle this. I need you all here to keep watch for me,” Kara said.

            They all began to protest. Kara stood her ground in silence. She did not have much fight to spare with arguments.

            “If I’m going in there, I need you all to keeping watch over the city for me. Please, trust me, and do as I ask,” Kara said.

            “Well, some things never change,” Mon-El said hearing this as he entered the room.

            Kara went over and got him by the shoulder. She led him towards the door. She looked back at the others in a stern silence. No one was happy. James stood frowning with profuse worry. Alex’s posture shifted uneasily.

            “Be careful, Supergirl,” J’onn said.

            “She’s got me,” Mon-El chimed.

            Everyone ignored him.

            “You’ll call right away if you think you’ll need us?” James said.

            “I will,” Kara said.

            “And stay on your comm link. We might need you, too,” Alex said to get Kara to actually do it, and her postured shifted as she relented even though she was deeply unhappy.

            Kara did not bother to say anything else. She put her hand to the middle of Mon-El’s back and shoved to stop him making some addled goodbye. He gave in easily and went with her down the long hallway.

            At the end of the gangplank, the ship loomed over them. The darkness inside called and practically dared them to enter. Kara’s jaw gritted. Lights were flashing all around them, as bystanders and press caught footage. Kara turned back and looked in every direction besides the one right ahead of her. Every instinct inside of her was flaring in alarm. She was walking into a trap. She had known that before, and she did not know why standing here now, the intensity had risen so high. She got Mon-El by the shoulder.

            “Listen. We absolute _cannot_ kill the Agoramat inside,” Kara said.

            “The two of us can handle anyone,” Mon-El said.

            “That’s not what I mean. There are only a handful of their people left in existence. You should understand what that means without my needing to explain. We cannot kill even one of those remaining. This matters more to me now than ever. You have to listen to me. Whatever it takes, we are getting out of this with her still alive,” Kara said.

            “Okay,” Mon-El conceded.

            Kara stared at him hard for a long moment. She thought he was really listening. He seemed focused. She turned to look back over the city once more. She found it hard to initiate the first step into the ship, hard to push past her own blazing instincts.

            “I hope I don’t regret this,” Kara said aloud.

            She marched up the gangplank. Mon-El stayed right beside her, very much on the ready. That made her feel a little better, and they drew inside. The open space, still air, and elaborate workings all around made the ship feel almost like an open cathedral.

            “Where do we start,” Mon-El said.

            “Stay quiet,” Kara said.

            She was listening. There were sounds of footsteps, but there were many. They ran in hallways and open rooms throughout the ship. The Agoramat obviously knew how to fight Kryptonians. Her voice came over the comm system in the ship.

            “You are either very brave or very arrogant to enter my ship unannounced,” she said.

            “We meant no offense. We took the open hatch for an invitation,” Kara said.

            “Anyone standing behind that fallen prince offends me,” she said.

            “Mon-El is a friend of mine and one of the last of his kind. Surely, you must respect both,” Kara said.

            “So that’s why you’re here, Kryptonian, to protect a nearly dead race. I thought something was amiss,” she said.

            “You and I both live by strict codes of honor. Will you see fit to make treaty with me, even though our values are not the same?” Kara asked.

            “Do you know how many Kryptonians I’ve killed?” she asked.

            “How many?” Kara asked and the risk of responding in rage wavered in her heart.

            “None. It would be an honor to kill or to die fighting one of your race,” she said.

            “We don’t have to do it that way. Make a vow to me to leave Mon-El and this planet in peace. I’ll give you back your friends, and you can all go,” Kara said.

            “A generous offer, but not one I can take,” she said.

            All this time, Kara had been sorting through the sounds ringing through the ship. The false steps were methodical, steady. She let the threads of sound drop one at a time. She finally settled on one pair of less even steps, close by. Just as she did, another series of sounds roared through the ship.

            “Get ready,” she said to Mon-El.

            “Meet me in a fair fight,” the Agoramat said over the comms. “If I win, I’ll take this Daxamite and my own crew both off your hands. If you win, I’ll leave you your fallen prince.”

            “But you won’t leave your crew?” Kara said.

            “I would never leave them,” the Agoramat said.

            “Then we have something in common. You know what it’s like to stand by the people close to you no matter the cost. I can’t offer you my friend, not even for the sake of a fair fight,” Kara said.

            Drones poured in from the vents. Kara and Mon-El were caught up in fighting. Kara managed to bring most of them down with sharp bursts of heat vision. She heard Mon-El give a yell. She turned to se the Agoramat lift him over her hand and slam him into a wall. Kara flew down to him. He was unconscious.

            “Looks like you’ll get that fair fight all the same,” Kara said.

            “I had to insist. The honor is too great,” the Agoramat said.

            The Agoramat knelt down on one knee before Kara. Kara did the same to her. They rose up both together. They sprang towards one another, and the Agoramat feigned a dodge to the left and landed a hit from the right. Kara slammed into the wall. She shot into the Agoramat to slam her into the opposite wall in exchange.

            Their fight rang out all through the ship. The Agoramat took Kara’s hits boldly and matched her strength, but she was overwhelmed at first by Kara’s superior speed. So she used her knowledge of the ship to her advantage. Kara found herself fighting her way down narrow halls. The Agoramat would dodge in and out of passageways and come at her from unexpected directions. The walls were too hard to break through.

            The fight went on until Kara’s ribs ached from taking blows, and her arms were weakened from hitting so many blows. She realized they were sheltered inside the ship from UV rays. That set a bell of alarm ringing in her mind. She went back to listening. She could hear the Agoramat’s breathing. She managed at last to land a hit that stunned her, and she reigned down a series of blows that finally overcame her enemy.

            Kara had the Agoramat on the floor of the ship between her knees. She held back a last punch, and the Agoramat turned and coughed up blood. Some of her ribs were broken. She let her chin rise and nodded to Kara. She waited for the blow to the throat that would have ended her life.

            “I don’t want to kill you,” Kara said.

            “I’ve lost my honor,” the Agoramat said.

            “But not your name. What did your people call you?” Kara said.

            “Imana,” she answered.

            “Imana, you have lost your honor in this battle. You still have your name and your word that goes with it. You can regain your honor in service. Swear to me that you will protect Mon-El from all threats including your crew and take him anywhere he asks you to that you can reach in this galaxy without risking the lives of your crew before you part ways in peace, and I will give you your life in exchange and be proud to call you a friend once our debt is settled,” Kara said.

            “I, Imana of Agorama-Settaman, swear by the sacred honor held in my name that I will carry the fallen prince safely to anyplace my crew can reach and leave him in peace,” she said.

            Kara lowered her fist. She stood up and nearly swayed into the walls. She reached down to take Imana’s arm. She lifted her up, and Imana held her broken side.

            The two of them made their way back to Mon-El. Kara got him to wake up. He was startled and tried to get up quickly, but she told him it was over.

           "I got you a ride out of here, wherever you want to go with this crew to guard you.  I don't want bounty hunters to keep showing up in my city looking for you.  It's too dangerous.  You can find someplace safe, right?  You know to how to look out for yourself, Mon-El?"  Kara said with severity.  

            Mon-El nodded to her intently and sat back against the wall.  He rubbed the back of his neck and grimaced.  He looked up at her, clearly amazed by what Kara had pulled off.  She thought he was sorry he had missed the fight and left her alone.  That made her feel a little better about all of this.  

            Kara checked her comms for Alex. She needed them to release the crew, and she wanted Imana to hear her give the order. No one was there. Kara tried a few times.

            “These walls are made to shut things out,” Imana said.

            “I need to go. I’ll return your crew tonight. I promise,” Kara said.

            Imana bowed to her. Kara came and clasped her arm. She made her way to the bottom of the gangplank.

            As her comm link came back on, and Kara heard the sounds of a firefight. She called Alex’s name several times. Finally, Alex heard her and answered.

            “Kara! CADMUS is making a move on Lena! We’re here, but these guys, they don’t stop! We need Supergirl! Now!” Alex said.

            In a single moment, Kara realized that the film crews had been capturing the scene live when Kara had gone into the ship. CAMUS had been watching. They had chosen to take their chance and make their move. It had been trap – a trap that Kara had made for herself.

            She shot up into the sky and across the city. Her heart beat so fiercely that she felt that it might end up breaking from its own force. On the ground in front the L-Corp building, the police and the DEO were locked in a firefight with dozens of cyborgs. These were unlike any that Kara had seen before, cast from a faintly red metal. They did not seem human in any measure.

            As she arched down, Kara saw that bullets were scattering off their bodies. Guardian was there locked in fighting. He was beating the cyborgs back, trying to keep them from advancing on the cops. Their shots struck his armor as often as the cyborgs and made Kara scared. She did not seem to distinguish between the cyborgs and James who fought as an ally.

            J’onn was off to the side of the firefight near DEO agents fighting another line of cyborgs. He had taken up his own form, and he ripped a cyborg into parts. The firing stopped, and police cars began to rev and drive forward to slam into the cyborgs. Cops ran forward with battering rams to batter them back. Kara found Maggie directing this and landed by her.

            “Kara!” Maggie yelled pointing.

            Three cyborgs had J’onn down and were stomping on him. Kara shot over and turned sideways to slam into all three of them. She battered the cyborg closest to her hands and took a few hits from the other two herself. She finally understood why J’onn had been tearing them apart. The metal was nearly impenetrable. They were weaker at the joints. She ripped off one’s arms, and she twisted one another in half. J’onn had broken the other. All the parts scattered on the ground kept on fighting, relatively ineffectually.

            “There’s no stopping them! No matter how you break them!” J’onn called out.

            “Where’s Alex?” Kara yelled.

            “Upstairs, closing in on Lena. Lillian is there with her. They’re here for her!” J’onn said.  

           Kara looked around once afraid to leave them.

            “Go! We can handle this! Find some way to shut them down! There must be a power source!” J’onn yelled.

            Kara shot up and out to arc back. She slammed through the balcony door so hard, the reinforced glass cracked and the door fell from torn hinges. She smashed into two cyborgs with enough force to break through the walls and send them falling to the ground on the other side of the building. With a twist she shot back through the hole and into Lena’s office. She landed just inside and stood frozen in a low crouch.

            “You’re late, Supergirl,” Lillian Luthor teased.

            Kara only stood still, because a reddish cyborg like those on the street with a blue light shining out of its body had Alex held by the throat. Cyborg Superman had Lena by the arm. He had been changed. The same red-tinted metal covered half of his face and his chest now. Kara’s eyes went from Alex to Lena.

            “Sister first or lover first? It’s quite the predicament for you isn’t it, Kara Danvers?” Lillian said.

            “I am faster than your tin men,” Kara said.

            “One yes. Two? I wouldn’t be so sure. You want to risk it?” Lillian said.

            “You wouldn’t kill your own daughter,” Kara said with the purest rage at her doubt even as she spoke these words.

            “I need Lena’s blood. I’d prefer the entire daughter. But I know what to do with a set of spare parts. Agent Danvers there, she’d make a promising addition to my prize junkyard, as well,” Lillian said.

            “What do you want?” Kara said.

            “For now, I’ll settle for my daughter. You step back from this, and you’ll get to keep a sister. That way, everyone gets to keep who really belongs to them. Family first,” Lillian said.

            “Kara, don’t listen to her. She wants the vaults only! You have to protect Lena,” Alex managed before she was choked into silence and made a grimace.

            Lena was perfectly still and silent. She was studying Cyborg Superman’s new shell. If Kara did not know her so well, she would have thought that she was in on this. She could tell from her coloring and the strain at the sides of her eyes and mouth that Lena was absolutely terrified.

            “I’m going to tear you apart,” Kara said to Lillian.

            “You first, it looks like,” Lillian said.

            “I see what you’ve done here. You found the Anethma Cell. You’ve matched up some of Lex’s designs to create these new cyborgs,” Lena said.

            “Well done, daughter. You always were a terribly clever girl,” Lillian said.

            “You solved his big problem by separating the power source from the overpowered operating system. Cyborg Superman here is the brain. And that one over there is the heart,” Lena said.

            “Nicely done. What does that make me? The Queen?” Lena said.

            Lena stood quiet. She looked over at Lillian. The fury coiled in Kara’s body felt almost impossible to contain.

            “I’d say the malady,” Kara said.

            “And you’ve used the C281 coil design,” Lena said.

            “What a memory!” Lillian said.

            “That was my design. I gave it to Lex. I never used it, because it had a flaw. I thought he could improve it, but he never did,” Lena said.

            “Well, you’ll have to get on that soon, won’t you? With our two minds put together, what could stop us?” Lillian said.

            For the first time, Lena turned and met Kara’s eyes. Kara read the subtlest signs held in her body. She focused on Lena hard.

            “Family first,” Lena said.

            Terror rose inside of Kara. Lena pulled a wire out between the plates of Cyborg Superman’s new shell and touched it to a box at the base of his skull. This shorted something and electrical sparks showered out. He yelled and fell to his knees stunned.

            “Kill them both!” Lillian roared in uncontrolled rage.

            The moment Lena made her move Kara sprang across to Alex. She grasped the cyborg’s hand and with a furious yell twisted her entire body over its arm to grain enough leverage to tear the thumb from the joint. Only an exertion of full force let Kara overpower and break its grasp. This one was built far stronger than the others. Alex fell and moved away quickly.

            The sound of a body shattering through glass sounded in the room, even as Kara managed to free Alex. Kara knew what the sound had to have been. Cyborg Superman had thrown Lena through the glass. The image of Lena’s body falling flashed vividly into her mind. Kara turned and shot towards the windows, only to slam back onto the floor.

            The cyborg had grabbed her cape with its good hand. Kara grabbed the hand that held her cape, but she could not get any purchase on the fully clenched first. She could see Lena’s body in her mind, no doubt already badly injured from hitting the glass, falling to the ground. The blue light of the power cell shone out of the cyborg’s body where its heart would rest. Kara punched the cyborg in the chest furiously. In three massive punches, she had brought it to the ground and torn through the impossible metal to shatter the coil inside. The light faded out, and Kara let out a nearly maddened yell as she finally tore the fading hand apart.

            “Kara! Kara!” Alex yelled from the floor and pointed across the room.

            In the fraction of a second before Kara dashed through the windows – too late, she knew, already too late – her deepest instincts to trust Alex made her turn to look where she was pointing. Lena was still there. She was obviously hurt, but she was rising to gain her feet. Shattered glass was strewn across the floor of the office. Cyborg Superman was on the ground at the far wall, and electrical sparks were coming out of a crack along the separation lines in his face. Mon-El was standing there, holding his right hand in his left. He had jumped through the windows, punched Cyborg Superman, and saved Lena.

            “Oooowww! That guy is hard!” Mon-El yelled to Kara in clear pain and desperation.

            Cyborg Superman started to rise, and Kara shot over and pounded him with unchecked ferocity. She stopped only when he lay still, ruined. Kara sprang up off of him. She turned to Lena, still in absolute shock.  

            “Yeah! That’s – that’s what you get!” Mon-El said, yelling at Cyborg Superman on the ground. “That makes this feel a little bit better.”  

            “So you and I do have one thing in common,” Alex said to Mon-El and made a little, strained sound like a faint cough.

            Lena stood clearly as stunned as Kara. She and Kara practically staggered towards one another. They embraced, and as Kara calmed down even that first slightest bit, she became aware of how violently they both were shaking. A sound made Kara turn, ready at once to face some other threat.

            Lillian had made a move to escape. Alex had already grabbed the gun in her hand. She landed a perfect punch on Lillian’s chin that knocked her out cold. She lay on the floor, and Alex kicked the gun away from her hand.

            “That’s for Lena!” Alex said and pointed down at her, and she rubbed at her throat after her voice came out strained from being choked before.

            Kara turned back to Lena. If she had any feelings about watching Lillian get hit, they did not show. She touched Kara’s face. They titled their foreheads together softly.

            “I think I broke my hand,” Mon-El said.  

            “Let me see,” Alex said, her voice still a rasp.

            A silent moment passed. The room felt incredibly still. Kara realized that the sounds from the street had stopped, as well. By destroying the brain and the heart of the network, they had stopped the other cyborgs. She did not yet know what the cost would prove to have been, but they had won the day.

            “Yeah, that – that’s broken,” Alex said softly.

            “Well, fix it!” Mon-El said in near panic.

            Kara stood back. She let go of Lena only reluctantly. They both came over to try and help.

            “It doesn’t work quite like that,” Alex was saying.

            “Can you see?” Mon-El asked Kara.

            Kara looked through his skin. Two of Mon-El’s metacarpals were broken. They were clean breaks.

            “There are two broken bones,” Kara said.

            “Set them! Quick before the pain sets in!” Mon-El said.

            “I’m not sure that’s a good idea,” Alex said.

            “Do it, Kara, please! While I still have adrenaline!” Mon-El said.

            Kara still had so much adrenaline herself that she could not even balk, and Mon-El was in earnest. She focused as hard as she could. She set the two bones as softly and swiftly as she could manage. Mon-El nearly fell to his knees at the pain, and she helped settled him back onto Lena’s couch careful about jostling his hand.

            Lena brought him an entire bottle of fine whiskey. She offered him this. He chugged it down like water. The Danvers sisters were giving her a look of faint doubt.

            “Placebo effect?” Lena said with half a shrug. “I don’t know. There’s no ice. Can you use your freeze breath?”

            “Yeah. Good idea,” Kara said and knelt down.

            “Be careful. You could frostbite his skin,” Alex said.

            Kara blew carefully on Mon-El’s wrist. Little prisms of ice crystals formed on his skin. Lena soaked a napkin in water and rang it out.

            “How about freezing this?” Lena said.

            Kara wrapped the towel around Mon-El’s hand and froze it. That would help with the pain and swelling, but it would help keep the bones in place if only a little.

            “Try to keep it still. The ice should make cracking sounds if you start to move,” Kara said.

            “I won’t move!” Mon-El said.

            Kara squeezed his shoulder. She stood up then. She and Alex were standing near to one another. They hugged hard, and they held on for a long time. They stepped back finally and smiled at one another in quiet love and pride in one another.

            J’onn came over the balcony. When he found things safe in the room, he called out. James came through the door. Maggie came in after him and straight to Alex. Several others poured in behind him. Before the room could become crowded, Kara reached out and brought Lena closer to herself.

            The two lovers only stood close together as the others made some order of chaos in the room. Lillian had sat up still stunned. Maggie got Lillian into cuffs, as Alex checked her eyes with a little light and asked her questions. James carefully helped them get Lillian to her feet. They led her out, before she could say even a word.

            Kara caught James’s arm. He turned, and they hugged for a long moment in silence. When they let go, they looked at one another in silent gratitude. He went on to help the others. The other DEO agents gathered the parts of the cyborgs carefully. The room had cleared out.

            “J’onn, I know things are crazy right now, but I need you to have the four bounty hunters released tonight. I made a deal with their leader,” Kara said.

            “Consider it done,” J’onn said.

            J’onn walked over. He considered Lena for a long moment. He offered her his hand.

            “Miss Luthor, I’m glad to find you’re still with us,” J’onn said.

            “I didn’t think I would be much longer,” Lena said.

            “I know,” J’onn admitted.

            “You saved my life once. I never got to say thank you. So, thank you. I was honored to have met a Green Martian, even in passing and in such crazy circumstances,” Lena said to J’onn, as she took his hand.

            “The circumstances are always crazy with us,” J’onn said.

            Lena smiled at his joke. J’onn kept holding onto Lena’s hand. His red eyes moved over her, no doubt seeing the contents inside her mind. He shifted back into his form as Hank Henshaw.

            “Perhaps it’s time we introduced you properly to the DEO, Miss Luthor,” J’onn said.

            Lena smiled and nodded to him merely. Mon-El stood up. Kara reached behind him to make sure he was steady. He seemed fine.

            “Let’s get you to the DEO right away and get that into a cast,” J’onn said.

            Mon-El nodded to him. He turned to Kara. He seemed at a loss for words for only a moment.

            “I came after you to say thank you, and also… well… I’m sorry for everything before,” Mon-El said.

            “You were here when I needed you. It’s not your fault you got knocked out before. I had it handled,” Kara said.

            “I mean before that. All the time before, really,” Mon-El said.

            Kara found herself taken aback. She could only stand there silently. Mon-El reached to place his good hand on her shoulder. He appeared more serious than Kara had ever seen him before.

            “Next time I knock on your door, I promise it will be to ask for help that’s for far more than just myself,” Mon-El said.  

            “I’ll always be here,” Kara said and held his wrist at her shoulder.

            “I know you will. I think you’re the most solid thing in this or any world,” Mon-El said.

            He turned then to leave. J’onn followed after him. He glanced at the office door, but he left it open given the state of the room.

            “Get some rest,” J’onn said to them both in a last farewell for that night.

            The only sound in the quiet room came from wind passing through the shattered windows to follow a draft through the broken wall. Kara and Lena look at one another. They embraced once more without a word spoken, and they did not let go this time.

            “Come home with me,” Kara said after a while.

            “Take us,” Lena requested.

            “Will you be scared?” Kara said, remembering Lena’s fear of flying.

            “No. I don’t think I will,” Lena said.  

            They walked over the broken glass to the balcony. Kara got Lena to step onto her feet. Lena put her arms over Kara’s shoulders to hold onto her and hid her face in Kara’s neck. Kara wrapped both arms around her. Kara lifted off gently and hovered. She listened to Lena’s heartbeat pick up a little. She let them float gently up and over the city. She only picked up speed as she felt the Lena’s heartbeat never did spike. Kara remembered what James had said once, and she made slight, gradual shifts whenever they were turning.

            She opened the window to her apartment that she always left unlocked with one hand. She brought them gently to the floor and stood holding Lena a little longer. When Lena stood back, Kara took one of her hands. She led Lena to the sink and got a glass of water. She gave this to Lena and got another one for herself. She took Lena’s hand once more and led them softly to her bedroom.

            They were too tired to eat. They were too tired to change. Kara took off her boots and climbed onto her bed without even turning down the covers. Lena took off her shoes and came onto the bed with her. She settled her back against Kara’s chest. Kara let her arm along the edge of the pillow pass under Lena’s neck. She curled into Lena with both arms wrapped around her. The quiet in the safe room came over them almost uncanny. And they finally got a chance to sleep together.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks for reading! I love hearing from people, if you want to connect! I'm on Tumblr as YesBothWays for private messaging.


	11. Epilogue

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Some readers asked to see more of Kara and Lena’s connection. I figured all the drama and disruption of the last three chapters warranted plenty of quiet and recovery for these two. Rather than leave that all implied at the end, I figured I could try to actually show a little bit in an epilogue chapter… not as spectacular chapters 1-10, more just tender and sweet.

            Kara awoke still lying on her same side. She had barely moved during the night in her sleep, she had been so deeply exhausted. Sunlight poured in through the windows that told her it was late morning, maybe ten or eleven. The room was entirely still. Beside her, Lena was lying there already awake and thinking with a hand at her neck and her elbow in the air. Kara shifted a little, and Lena turned to see her. Her eyes moved over Kara’s face.

            Kara could feel herself frowning distinctly. She felt deeply anxious and entirely miserable. Her mind was not quite awake, so her distress held a heavy and opaque quality. There was an unfiltered, dreamlike quality still swirling in her mind. Reading the distress in Kara’s expression, Lena shifted up onto her elbow to consider her more closely.

            “You’re starving,” Lena said, as she touched Kara’s shoulder.

            That made sense and felt a relief. Kara made a frantic and tiny nod. Lena began to sit up and pushed lightly at her shoulder.

            “Come on,” Lena said to her softly.

            Kara sat up, and she felt almost dizzy. She had not been this hungry in as long as she could remember. She stood up swiftly and kept steady. She heard how Lena moved a bit slowly behind her. She recognized from the way Lena held her breath as she moved that she was hurt from yesterday, and the muted strain on Lena’s face as she came around the foot of the bed confirmed this.

            They were all lucky that this Monday was a holiday. They would all be in rough shape from their all out battle the night before and the rough days before. Kara’s nerves were shot, and her body still felt inclined to remain tense, as if poised to explode into a fight any moment. In the kitchen, Kara opened her fridge. There wasn’t much, but there was a dozen eggs, bread, and jams. She pulled out a gallon of milk about half full.

            “Want any milk?” Kara asked Lena.

            “Sure,” Lena said.

            She poured Lena a large glass and put it down in front of her. Lena had been rubbing her face slowly with both of her hands, and she reached to pick up the glass. She glanced at Kara at the sight of the huge glass, far more than she would want. But Kara proceeded to tip up the jug and down the remainder of the gallon within only a few minutes. She saw Lena smiling a little as she picked up her glass and took a sip. Kara had been trying to ensure that Lena got enough before she decimated their remaining supply.

            Kara pulled out a carton of orange juice. She poured herself a large glass and left the carton out. She drank this more slowly as she searched her freezer. She pulled out two unopened boxes of waffles. She tore one open to drag out two waffles and started to eat these still frozen, as she fit the remainder from the box carefully into her large toaster oven. She could not use heat vision to toast anything, as the heat was too pointed and strong. So she ate her frozen waffles with one hand, as she brought the eggs, bread, jams, peanut butter, softened butter, and syrup around to the counter with the other.

            When the waffles were done, she refilled the toaster with the second box. She put two of the finished ones on a plate and pushed it in front of Lena. She began to load butter, peanut butter, and syrup onto her own waffles. Lena watched her for a moment.

            “You have this first round. I’ll catch up with you,” Lena said.

            She sat tired and still waking up. So Kara stood and began to eat all of the waffles in short order. She would have kept standing, but once she brought out the second batch, Lena saw that the toaster was empty and glanced at the seat beside her. Before she said anything, Kara came around to sit near her. Then she devoured all the waffles with intent focus.

            Lena reached over to slip her hand under Kara’s cape to run across her shoulders. They were both fragile and exhausted. Kara’s body felt fine, but her brain felt like it wanted to spend three days dreaming to even sort a fraction of what all she had to process still. Her thoughts were flitting back and forth in a nervous watchful state and alarm bells of worry kept spiking her nerves. Her mind kept picturing everyone in a kind of panicked, circular inventory: Alex, James, J’onn, Maggie, Winn. Even with Lena sitting beside her, clearly in a state of tired calm, her mind kept troubling over her. When Kara finished her waffles, she sat for a moment with her head held in her hands.

            “Do you want to call Alex?” Lena asked.

            Kara looked over at her. From her expression, Kara could tell that Lena could easily read how worried she still was. She noticed how bowed her shoulders were and how much tension was still held in her body.

            “I’ll just make us some eggs first,” Kara said.

            “Let me handle eggs,” Lena said.

            Lena shifted off her seat towards Kara. She brought her hand to Kara’s face to drag the two of them close together. Kara felt herself sigh into a rather tender embrace between them. The first round of food was hitting her system, and she could not say as yet whether this was riling her up more or calming her down.

            “Call your sister,” Lena said gently, as she turned Kara’s face up to kiss her cheek softly.

            Lena went and got out the same pan and bowl that Kara always used to make eggs. She pulled the dozen eggs from the fridge. Kara went and got her phone. She had never seen Lena cook before this, she realized as the phone rang. She felt a little sad to lose the chance to make Lena any breakfast. She loved every chance she got to feed her favorite people. Still, reciprocity always felt good to receive. She sank back into the chair at the counter with her elbows out on the table.

            “Hey, Kara,” Alex said, as she picked up.

            “Hey,” Kara said and already felt relief come over her with a sharp little wave of near pain at the sound of Alex’s voice.

            “Everything okay?” Alex asked.

            “Yeah. Everything on your end?” Kara said.

            “Yeah. We’re just out here cleaning up. Cops are being a real pain in the ass, though,” Alex said.

            A long moment of poised silence followed. Kara smiled already figuring Maggie was standing nearby. She heard Maggie’s voice barely picked up by the phone receiver, and grinned with one side of her mouth.

            “Maggie says hi,” Alex said.

            “Hey,” Kara said to Maggie vicariously.  

            Alex did not sound terribly tired. She seemed more or less relaxed. Kara figured Alex’s body was still pretty beat up from the day before, but she was used to it and would barely have been slowed down. She sometimes worried even Kara with how much ibuprofen she would casually take at one time.

            “I don’t know if you’d care to share this with Lena so soon or not, but we got authorization to keep Lillian in confinement at the DEO. She won’t pose such an escape risk now,” Alex said.  

            “Is everybody okay?” Kara asked.

            “Yes. Don’t worry, Kara. We’re in the clear now. Just rest up today. I’m sure there’ll be another crisis tomorrow, or the next day, or maybe the next,” Alex said.

            Kara laughed softly into her phone.

            “I love you,” Alex said.

            “I love you, too,” Kara said.

            “Catch you tomorrow, yeah? Maybe a dinner night?” Alex said.

            “Yeah,” Kara agree in a tone that revealed how badly she wanted and needed that.  

            “Send my love to Lena. And tell her she doesn’t have to worry like she did before. She has my word,” Alex said.

            “I will,” Kara said.

            They hung up. Kara sat there for a moment. Lena had butter melting in the pan and bread toasting. She was whisking the eggs. All her movements were focused and meticulous.

            “Alex sends her love,” Kara said.

            Lena turned to see Kara a little abruptly. She seemed taken aback. She smiled only a little with one side of her mouth and seemed nervous more than anything. She poured the eggs into the pan. The smell and the sound of sizzling made Kara eager for this next round of breakfast, and she swung her legs a little bit.

            “Lillian is being held at the DEO,” Kara said

            Upon hearing that, Lena’s entire body language shifted. She appeared so relieved that Kara felt herself relax a great deal more in response. If anyone knew what Lillian was cable of, then it would be Lena, and she looked deeply reassured now.

            “Alex said you have her word that you don’t have to worry like you did before,” Kara said.

            Lena turned and made a smile so tender and moved that Kara could barely even smile back at her in response. She felt a little like crying instead. Kara understood the depths of Lena’s fear of Lillian better now, and her own rage was still lingering in her body like the resounding vibrations from striking a massive bell. Alex should probably make sure that Kara did not have general clearance to Lillian’s cell.

            Kara sat a little stiff, her mind still darting. Alex said everyone was fine, and she would have checked on the guys already. Still, Kara needed more reassurance.

            “I’m going to call James,” Kara said aloud, as she dialed.

            Lena made her a faint nod and did not bother turning away from the pan. She had her mind full already. Kara could only read so much off of her, as her feelings ran too deep.

            “Hey, girl,” James said, when he picked up.

            His voice sounded low and relaxed like he was lying down. Even at the sound of his voice, Kara felt herself settle down into her seat and nearly sigh. She could envision Alex and Maggie slowly crawling over the crime scene at L Corp, and now she could picture James in his apartment, on his couch or his bed.

            “How are you?” Kara asked him.

            “Stiff as a board. I’m doing yoga,” James said.

            Kara could not suppress the softest laugh.  

            “You despise yoga,” Kara said.

            “Anything at this point. I don’t care how whitewashed. I’ve been doing my usual stretch routine all morning. The suit held up, but my body just wore out,” James said.

            “Take it easy for a good while, yeah?” Kara said.

            “I will. I promise. We made it through another close one,” James said.

            “Yeah,” Kara said.

            “We didn’t lose anybody. Say hey to your girl for me. Tell I’m glad she’s staying around,” James said.

            “I will,” Kara said.

            “See you tomorrow maybe?” James said.

            “Yeah. Alex and I were thinking dinner,” Kara said.

            “Count me in, unless you two need sister time,” James said.

            “I’ll have her over before,” Kara said.

            “Just tell me when tomorrow. I’ll throw together that baked sweet potato thing you love, and I’ll hobble over,” James said.

            Kara made a soft sound of awed delight that made James laugh a little, and they said goodbye. Lena was putting salt and pepper on their eggs, which were nearly finished. Kara called Winn without even saying, as she recognized that Lena would already know. When he picked up, there was a lot of background noise. She heard people and what she thought were the sounds of arcade games.

            “Hey! What’s up?” Winn said.

            “Just checking in. How are you?” Kara asked.

            “I’m great! I’m playing T2 pinball to celebrate our victory over the rise of the machines. After last night, every time I close my eyes, I still see them crawling. So this is quarter-machine therapy,” Winn said.

            Kara laughed. She heard Winn turn the phone down a bit and hand over the game to Lyra. He moved somewhere a little quieter, probably a corner.

            “Hey, how are you? How’s your girl doing?” Winn asked.

            “Tired, I think,” Kara said.

            “Yeah, I bet! Tell Lena I say hey,” Winn managed, uncertain what else to say.

            “Sure thing. Dinner tomorrow with everyone?” Kara asked.

            “Yeah! I’ll bring the booze and some miserable junk food to contribute to all you guys’ elegant health-food cuisine,” Winn said.

            “See you then,” Kara laughed, and Winn said bye and hung up.

            “The guys both say hi,” Kara said to Lena.

            Lena smiled over at her, as she got down two plates. She piled about two eggs on to her own plate and all the rest onto Kara’s. She grabbed a slice of toast for herself and stacked the five others onto Kara’s plate. Kara made a deep sigh already as Lena pushed a second round of breakfast over in front of her. Kara got butter on all the toast and jam on half. Lena sat beside her and took a bite of her eggs.

            “Not bad,” Lena said, as if a bit surprised.

            “They’re perfect,” Kara said, and Lena nodded in faint concession.

            “They came out almost like when you make them. I think yours are fluffier,” Lena said.

            “I whisk with great fury. How do they usually come out when you do them?” Kara asked.

            “I’ve never cooked anything before. Lillian always said cooking was for the middle class. I’ve just seen you do this enough times, I followed the pattern of what you always do,” Lena said.

            This delighted Kara for some reason. By the time she finished the huge plate of food, Kara felt about a hundred times better. Her body finally sank into being able to relax fully. She pushed her plate away and rested her arms on the table. She let her head come down to rest on her arms. Lena rubbed her back again, and Kara turned and pushed Lena’s plate away, as well, to move over towards her. Lena rested against Kara’s shoulder and slipped her arms around her body. They stayed that way for a little while.

            “How was everybody?” Lena asked.

            “Good. James is really sore and stiff,” Kara said.

            Lena considered this and then sat up. She stretched her back, made a yawn, and rubbed her eyes. She went and got her phone. She called someone, and Kara sat back wondering who. She made an appointment for James on her own bill with someone named Simone. Kara smiled over at her curiously.

            “Text James would you? Tell him I’ll send a car around for him around one if he’s up for a trip to the best sports massage therapist in National City,” Lena said.

            “Okay!” Kara said in delight and sent him a message.

            She would not have known how to do something like that for James. Kara knew next to nothing about physical injuries. She was abstractly pleased for him already.

 _Wow! Ok! Tell Lena thanks!_ James texted back.

            Lena put in a call for the car and handed the phone over to Kara to give James’s address. Lena stood up and stretched her back again more deeply this time. Kara saw Lena’s hand float to her side, as she felt some soreness or tenderness. Once Kara hung up her phone, Lena reached out for her hand.

            They went to Kara’s bedroom and started pulling off their clothes from the day before, so they could go shower. Even as worn out and fragile as they both were, a tension rose within both of them once they were naked together. Lena came to put her arms around Kara’s neck to kiss her. Kara’s breath halted as their lips met, and then she took a deep breath and let it out slowly, once they were kissing one another fully. Kara held Lena’s body gently against her own, as they kissed softly for a long while. The warmth and excitement that rose up from this in Kara made her a little astonished at first, and she felt peaceful for the first time since she could remember. After a while, she shifted back and held Lena away from her little to get a look at the rough bruise she had glimpsed on her side.

            “I didn’t think it would look this bad,” Lena said looking down with her, and she pressed at the bruise a little with her fingertips.

            “Doesn’t that make it hurt?” Kara asked.

            Lena made a shrug. She looked up and gave Kara a little smirk. Kara smiled at how soft and heavy Lena’s expression became almost at once. Lena’s eyes flicked down over Kara’s body. Kara felt herself biting her lip softly, as a warm tension formed in her low stomach. She took Lena’s hand and led the way to get them into the shower, before they got distracted with kissing and ended up getting into her bed instead.

            Kara got the shower going to heat up and brushed her teeth. Lena brushed her teeth beside her and ran her fingers through her hair. Then she climbed into the shower. Kara brushed her hair quickly over the sink, and some debris fell into the basis that she blew down the drain. She was eager to follow after Lena. Lena stood under the running water, and she got her hands on Kara to switch places and bring her under the water.

            Kara washed her hair. Often when she showered, bits of broken glass, metal, and whatever other shattered materials would fall out of Kara’s hair under the water. So after she rinsed out her hair, she used her foot to push the running water and any fallen debris towards the drain to safeguard Lena’s bare feet. As soon as she finished, Lena put her arms around Kara’ neck. They kissed and held one another close in the warmth of the falling water.

            The stress of the days before still cast a stark impression across Kara’s mind. Her memories floated up in vivid clarity: visions of Alex’s pained grimace after she told Kara to save Lena, the look in Lena’s eyes right before she sprung the trap after covertly telling Kara what she should do, her own hands trying to pry open the cyborg’s red fist clenching her cape, and Lena standing there still amidst the shattered glass when Kara imagined she had lost her. A sharp energy flared at the top of her spine; she still wanted to fight. And yet the reality of the present moment held more gravity than the press of all of the demands and dangers of the past days. As she felt Lena’s mouth held open against her own, and the breaths she took through her mouth tasted of steam, even in the deepest part of her, Kara knew that they had returned to this, and she was in her real life once more. Everything was still here with her. And she tried not to let her mind wonder when she would inevitably lose her entire world again.

            Kara found a lot of smaller bruises and scrapes on Lena’s body to go along with the one on her side. None of them seemed to hurt, except a few deeper scrapes that Lena was quick to rinse when soap touched them. They spent a long time standing quietly in the shower letting themselves be soothed by the water and the nearness of one another. Then Lena kissed Kara with a little bit of rising passion in her movements, and Kara found herself reaching to turn off the water, so they could get out.

            They barely got into Kara’s room, before Lena turned and got her arms around Kara’s neck. Their time spent in the shower finally pushed the feelings left over from the day before clear enough for them to get really excited to finally be together alone. They were both trying not to grin so they could match their lips to one another’s, and Kara kept on laughing in their kissing. Lena got both of her hands on Kara’s face and pulled her in close. The way Lena kissed her with her mouth open and graceful made things quite serious. They were holding one another hard, trying to get even closer.

            Kara bent her knees so that she could bring a hand to the back of Lena’s thigh and get her arm around her waist. She lifted her up, braced her against the wall, and kissed her neck and shoulder. Lena let her head tip forward to rest on Kara’s shoulder. Lena’s hand pressed at Kara’s arm to shift it a little lower, and Kara followed her lead almost instinctively before she processed the reason. She realized she was placing pressure on Lena’s side where she had been hurt.

            “I’m hurting you,” Kara said a little breathless.

            “You are doing _many_ things to me. God…” Lena said, as she brought her face up, as she held Kara’s face with both hands along her jawline. “Has it really been that long?”

            “I don’t even know anymore,” Kara said with a faint shake of her head.

            Lena kissed Kara with such depth and passion, that Kara pressed into her. She remembered Lena’s side, then, and shifted back. Lena kept on kissing her, but she could sense Kara’s hesitancy. She pressed her hand to the wall in a suggestion meant to get Kara to take them over to the bed, and Kara responded at once.

            Kara remained careful, as she lowered Lena into her bed. She stretched herself out beside her away from her injured side. She stayed propped up on her elbow to look down over Lena’s body. She could feel Lena watching her, and Lena felt open and patient, even though Kara could hear Lena’s heart beating hard and could almost see the tension caused by the longing held in her body.

            When she put her hand to the center of Lena’s chest, Lena’s body almost shook in response to that one, simple touch, and she turned towards her to kiss Kara at once. Kara found herself kissing Lena’s neck down to her chest and slipping her hand between her legs. In response to the unique tenderness in how Kara touched her, Lena shifted to lie on her back beside Kara. Her back arched, and her hips shifted slowly.  

            After a while, Lena turned her head on the pillow to see Kara’s face. Her attention sharpened. She studied her expression and shifted over to lift herself up a little on one arm. She reached to touch Kara’s face with her expression growing more serious.

            “Are you nervous, Kara?” Lena asked, softly, in clear surprise.

            Kara smiled a little and considered her question. Lena’s brows were furrowing, but she was smiling softly at her. Kara was still watching Lena’s body closely, as she responded to the feel of her hand.

            “I’m just worried about being too rough,” Kara confessed.

            Lena apparently considered this idea entirely laughable.

            “I’m not that hurt,” Lena said with a soft shake of her head.

            Lena’s eyes remained soft as she considered Kara. She must have seen how deep Kara’s reservations ran, because she made a kind of smirk.

            “You need proof?” Lena joked and rolled over on top of Kara roughly.

            They kissed hard, even as they both wanted to laugh. Lena turned and bit Kara’s shoulder. She rose up to look down at Kara’s face, biting her lip now and obviously quite pleased with her own naughtiness. That got Kara to sit up and put her arms around Lena, since her playfulness was catching. The energy between them felt more familiar even right away, and Kara could easily avoid putting pressure on Lena’s side. She had to wonder why she had not thought to bring them into this position before. She found herself grinning and looking over Lena’s face.

            Lena made things quite serious then when she pushed both of her hands into Kara’s hair behind her ears and pulling softly so that her head tipped back. She brought her mouth over Kara’s even as her lips parted. At that, Kara let her hands slide up Lena’s thighs to circle an arm tight around her waist put her hand between her legs again. Lena gasped, braced herself with both hands on Kara’s neck, and rose up a little at the feel.

            Lena brought her face back a little, so that their eyes could meet. They shared the softest smile and kept on watching one another. After a time, Lena reached her hand down between them to touch Kara, as well, which made Kara take in a deep breath as her back straightened. As she watched and felt Kara’s response with one hand that ran along her back, Lena smiled and bit her lip. She looked at Kara’s mouth and only let her face tilt and shift forward to kiss her in a gradual and slow movement, reluctant to let go of being able to watch her response.

            Once they were kissing, Lena’s hands moved over Kara’s body and encouraged her into a full embrace. The cultivated ease and familiarity between them made the unique tone of their love making after having gone through so much in the days before more apparent. They kept close to one another and remained even more fully conscious of one another than usual. After being lovers for some time, the innate chemistry between them allowed them both to get completely absorbed and lost during their experiences together. A renewed edge of care and watchfulness was there between them now.

            Kara loved the way Lena’s body would always shake whenever she came up into a climax. Today, the way Lena’s body trembled felt different, as if some suppressed emotions and intense vulnerability were rising to the surface as she opened up to the experience of intense pleasure. She held Lena as close and cautiously as she had when they were flying the night before. Lena pushed tears out of her eyes, as they were kissing afterwards, and she trembled for a long time in the wake of the experience.

            She never let Kara go from their kissing, and focused hard on touching Kara instead. Kara always marveled at the way the energy moved so seamlessly between the two of them, the way they could both find so much satisfaction in giving pleasure as much as receiving. And today, Lena almost quietly kept Kara wrapped up in the experience, until she hardly thought she could take anymore.

            They kept on kissing for an incredibly long time with Lena’s legs wrapped around Kara and Kara’s knees bent to hold Lena in close. Lena traced the edges of Kara’s face and considered her intently in stillness.   Whatever distance had opened out between them, whatever loss they had experienced had been regained. Kara let herself breathe deeply and felt the profound sense of relief resonating deep in her body. They were free now, when they had become so desperately entangled so quickly. But then their entanglements were long lived already before they sprang up into this latest fury. Perhaps now they were finding themselves actually made freer and even closer together than they were before.  

            Lena eventually shifted only reluctantly to leave Kara’s lap and lie down. Kara’s phone had received a text some time before. She had ignored the sound and trusted anyone who needed her to follow the general arrangement and call. She reached for her phone just to check.

 _Tell Lena, I owe her my life_ , James had texted, after visiting the therapist.

            “We’re even then,” Lena said in response, when Kara told her this.

            “Why do you know a sport massage therapist?” Kara asked Lena, curious.

            “To match with my athletic lifestyle,” Lena said flatly.

            “What?” Kara said with a soft laugh.

           She put her phone down and turned to get a good look at Lena’s face. Lena remained poised and decidedly unreadable. Her eyes sharped a little. She pursed her lips and raised her eyebrow once. She seemed to be suppressing a smile, as her eyes moved over Kara’s face.

            Kara considered for a moment, before she both laughed and also broke out into the most vivid blush. She hid her face in both of her hands. Lena laughed at her response. She reached to take Kara’s hand away from her face and hold it in her own.

            “Gosh. Am I – am I really… that rough?” Kara asked with transparent anxiety.

            “No,” Lena said slowly, and then she smiled at Kara and sharpened her focus on Kara’s face.  

            “Do you get hurt?” Kara asked candidly, and Lena lifted an eyebrow and shook her head.

            “No, I don’t get hurt. I get completely worn out, as you must know. It’s pretty much the best experience I’ve had in my entire life. I have simply found I can recover faster if I go and have someone who knows what they’re doing stretch out all my various, exhausted muscles. And, frankly, it would all be worth it to feel your mouth open against mine even just _one_ _time_ ,” Lena said.

            Lena rose up to kiss Kara. She took Kara’s face in both of her hands and dragged her into their kiss when she did. Kara had to wonder at how graceful and tender their kisses could feel even when they were so deep and hard. She held onto Lena’s wrists. When they finally stopped, Lena looked over Kara’s expression carefully.

            “I didn’t mean it to be some secret, even though I never mentioned it. It would have felt like – I don’t know – like teasing you or something. You’re very self-conscious about this kind of stuff,” Lena said.

            “What stuff? Sex stuff,” Kara asked and then answered her question almost at once, which made Lena smile at only one side of her mouth.

            “I didn’t want you getting spooked,” Lena told her honestly.

            “I don’t want to be too much,” Kara said.

            Lena practically grappled Kara. She made an exasperated sound as she did. She got Kara by both wrists and pushed her down onto the bed to put her hands over her head. Kara was smiling up at Lena despite herself.

            “And there it is. How could you ever not trust this? I mean, my God, Kara, the things we’ve done. We have a _good_ thing,” Lena said.

            “Yeah. We do. I didn’t know that sex could be this good. I just don’t want it to end up being better for me than for you,” Kara said.

            Lena made a kind of smirk. She looked incredulous and entirely bemused. She did not bother to answer that directly.

            “Why would I want to do anything expect push to the absolute limits with you?” Lena said, and she made a shrug of disbelief even at the concept. “You’re especially worried about this today. Is it this?” Lena said and gestures faintly to her side, “Or just everything that happened?”

            “I think it’s just something Mon-El said,” Kara all except mumbled, not wanting to admit what it was.

            Lena made an exaggerated gasp at that. One of her eyebrows darted up. Kara could see a clear anger rise in her expression.

            “He said something about us?” Lena asked her, aghast, and she shook her head when Kara kept on looking at her in silence. “Well, I know you somehow decided somewhere along the way that he must know _something_ or other about you – not that I conceded to that personally – but that prat knows absolutely nothing about me. Whatever his opinions were, I veto them. And so, I think, should you.”

            Kara could not help but laugh a little at that. Lena turned to lie on her back. She touched her injured side with light pressure from her fingertips as if distracted and doing this without thinking. She laughed openly.

            “You are the safest and most trustworthy sexual partner I could even imagine. You don’t lose sight of me even for an instant, no matter what we do. I’ve never felt in the least bit pressured or manipulated by you, not once. And you’re still worrying about hurting me. Meanwhile, this world is full of assholes trying to get women drunk enough that they can’t say no anymore, so they can sleep with them, and they think they’re absolutely fine,” Lena said.

            “Yeah,” Kara conceded with gravity.  

            They were quiet for a while. Kara’s mind played back over how deeply nervous she had become before, after she realized she had forgotten Lena’s bruised side. Lena had recognized this even at once and easily dragged her out and back into their usual dynamic. It felt unfamiliar to Kara now to feel anxious about sex, and this realization utterly astonished her. Lena had been an enormous part of the change, unquestionably.

            “Why is it _so_ easy to be with you?” Kara said in amazed candor.

            Lena broke out into a laugh that wanted to come over her so hard that she could barely even manage to make a sound. She nearly covered her face with her hands and then she turned over and placed both of her hands flat on Kara’s chest. She kept laughing, shaking her head, and staring at Kara in absolute shock.

            “You just came through an absolutely brutal fight in which all of your friends risked their lives to protect me from being kidnapped by my family, and _that’s_ what you’re asking me?” Lena said.

            “That has nothing to do with you. We’d be fighting CADMUS the same whether or not you were ever adopted into the Luthor family. You’re the completely unprecedented gift that arrived in the midst of this inevitable parcel of rivalry and hatred,” Kara said.

            “You are so brave,” Lena said.

            “So are you,” Kara responded.

            “You’re brave in love. Mine is more rooted in survival,” Lena said.

            “That’s a completely false distinction. Who could survive without love? I surround myself with brave and loving people. That’s what I do. You belong perfectly,” Kara said.

            Lena’s eyes softened. She was clearly a little too overwhelmed to even smile. She turned away from Kara a little bit. They were quiet for a long moment.

            “Will you come have dinner with all of us tomorrow?” Kara asked her.  

            Lena got truly overwhelmed at that. She did not even seem able to consider fully much less answer. She was quiet for so long that Kara had let go of the idea entirely. She expected Lena to change the subject. When Lena finally answered her question, her response felt quite unexpected to Kara.

            “Yes, and I’ll try not to be too stiff or silent, but don’t expect too much of me,” Lena said.

            Kara was so stunned and excited that she gasped audibly. Lena softened at the sight of her ecstatic response. Kara got Lena by the arms and toppled Lena down onto her chest to wrap both arms all the way around her in an all-encompassing embrace.

            “Yes!” Kara said in a long sound of sheer glee.

            Lena hid her face against Kara’s chest laughing. Eventually, she shifted over onto her side with her head on Kara’s shoulder. She put her arm across Kara’s stomach and held her close. They lay quietly together for a while. Eventually, Kara turned over onto her side. They made out softly, until they were both nearly drifting off to sleep. Lena curled forward to almost hide herself in Kara’s embrace, and they settled into a nap together.

            At one point, Kara woke up to the sound of a pained whimper. Lena had turned over onto her back, and Kara recognized quickly that Lena was having a nightmare and trying to scream in her sleep. She reached over to place a hand on her chest softly.

            “Hey,” Kara said gently. “Hey, wake up. It’s just a dream.”

            Lena woke up with her mind still occupied with the dream and frowned into a grimace. Kara moved over a little closer and kept running her hand over Lena’s collarbones, trying to keep herself awake long enough to bring Lena away from the dream, as she had learned in the past that Lena could slip back into the same nightmare easily. . Lena turned her face towards Kara, nearly settling back to sleep at once.

            “You’re here with me,” Kara said to keep Lena anchored in the present a little longer, as she ran her fingers over Lena’s jawline and neck.

            She could feel Lena settling back down into sleep without the disturbance of the dream rising into her mind. So she let herself fade back into sleep. Her own dreams were more like sequences of thought sorting themselves, busy images and flurries of feeling and emotion, as if her mind were trying to clean up and catch up.

            When Kara woke up again, Lena was still sleeping. So she kept on resting. The world felt peaceful for a moment, and she found herself smiling a little. She was already thinking about tomorrow, and she could already feel the press of her chosen family gathered around her. She felt a deep gratitude that gave her enough vivid, dancing joy that all the turmoil and loss of her past felt almost remote, the backdrop to a resounding them of love and connection in her life. She felt Lena wake up after a while, and Kara remembered Lena’s nightmare from before and turned to her.

            “What did you dream about?” Kara asked, and Lena was quiet for a long time.  

            “I was dreaming about my mother,” Lena said softly.

            Kara assumed that Lena meant Lillian Luthor, and she felt her jaw grip a little. She had woken Lena up from nightmares about Lillian so many times before this. Kara had never known anyone who had nightmares about their own parents before Lena. Whenever Kara dreamed of her parents, either they were together, the dream held a joy and fulfillment that would leave her sad to wake up or if it was a nightmare, she was always losing them. When Lena had nightmares about her parents, they were right there. The closer they were to her in the dream, the worse the dream would be.

            “I haven’t done that in so long,” Lena added quietly.

            Kara got an intuitive sense that Lena meant her mother before the Luthors adopted her, and she shifted to focus on Lena more fully. Lena meant her dreams only moment’s before and not when she had been having her nightmare earlier. Kara found herself speechless and deeply curious. Lena had never talked about her birth mother before. Kara had seen a picture of her in Lena’s condo, and they looked incredibly alike. When she mentioned this, Lena seemed guarded and uninterested in talking about her more.

            “What was she like?” Kara asked.

            “I don’t know, honestly. Lillian always used to say that children idealize their parents when they lose them young. She told me if I knew who my mother really was, then I would not be able to think of her the same way,” Lena said.

            “Who would say that?” Kara asked.

            Lena merely closed her eyes and lifted her eyebrows for a long moment instead of answering.

            “How did she seem to you?” Kara said.

            Lena remained quiet, and Kara was not certain she would answer. Then Lena let out a sudden sigh that became almost a laugh at the question.

            “Safe,” Lena said.

            “You remember her clearly?” Kara said.

            Lena nodded and seemed lost in concentration.

            “I remember so many things, and none of them alone seem all that significant. I have the most vivid memory of riding in the car beside her after she would pick me up from school and us both singing to the radio. I would have the window down, and I sat right up against the door and made patterns in the current of air with my hand. I thought about the curve of the line and how it wanted to match waves on the ocean. She must have watched me doing that so many times, and she never made me self-conscious about it. She would read with me at night before bed, and I never got the sense that she was bored or in a rush. There’s nothing especially profound; it’s just a feeling. I think I mostly remember the patterns that would repeat often enough to carve those memories in deep enough for them not to fade,” Lena said and turned to look at Kara.

            “That sounds profound to me – a love of constancy,” Kara said honestly, and she saw Lena swallow hard at that.

            “I don’t know who she was, though. I wasn’t old enough to see any of the deeper signs of her inner life. I don’t think she was unhappy. But maybe she was just being happy for me, you know?” Lena said and looked over at Kara.

            “I remember so much about my parents. Sometimes, those memories feel more vivid than anything that’s happened since. And I don’t know how to reconcile the things I’ve learned about them later in my life with those people in my memory. They were heroes to me. And they were so proud of me,” Kara said.

            “Would they be proud of you now?” Lena asked.

            “Yes, I think they would be,” Kara said.

            “That’s a gift, then,” Lena said very soft.

            “Yeah,” Kara agreed. “It feels almost like a betrayal not to be as proud of them as I used to be. I modeled myself on them as ideals and not real people.”

            “Identity formation is complex, I think. You formed your sense of who you are alongside Alex as much as anything, I would say. Siblings matter, too, and people change so much even when they’re adults, or they certainly can, anyways,” Lena said.

            “I’ve changed so much in the past few years,” Kara agreed.

            “So have I,” Lena related.

            “What was your mom’s last name?” Kara asked, as she suddenly thought to wonder.

            “Connolly,” Lena said. “It took me years to get used to being called Luthor, but it was so important to everyone in the Luthor family. I guess now I know why. Though, maybe with Lex, it was just a genuine desire to have me included fully.”

            “I wish there was some way to stop this fighting. I hate this feud,” Kara said and Lena made a huff almost of laughter and smiled a little bit over at Kara.  

            “That’s almost the opposite of how I feel these days. I don’t ever want to stop trying to keep the Luthor family from doing any more harm and trying to push back the tide of what damage they have done already. They feel fully entitled to shape the future. They believe that they are elites, and that their vision stands innately worthy. At some point, I think I realized, they had shaped me, and they were a part of me, no matter what. And I realized, there could be equal power in that for me, and yet it horrified me so deeply. I just had to reconcile myself to the fact that the more I accomplished of my own vision for the future, the more they would be ashamed of me – the more they would hate me.

            “Trying to ignore their influence on me or trying to tear that out would have torn out a part of me. But I couldn’t keep on letting it make me vulnerable to them or their ideas anymore, and so I had to turn it into something other than a longing to belong, you know, to finally have some genuine love that they never gave me. So I keep those feelings moving towards a commitment to stopping them and undoing what they’ve done, based on sheer faith in what good I saw in them, even when it was only in potential, and a totally abstract idea of what they would want if they were able to want better things. That’s as much shaping an identity on ideals rather than reality as anything. I couldn’t pretend I was not a Luthor, even before, so I have to make that into something meaningful and useful to me,” Lena said.

            “You’re a beautiful person, you know that?” Kara said

            “Coming from you, that’s a lot to take to be honest,” Lena said.

            “I mean it,” Kara said, and Lena’s eyes softened in full acceptance of this.

            Kara matched her hand to Lena’s. They both looked over their hands, and then they slowly entwined their fingers. Lena seemed reticent. She turned to Kara with a bit of concern in her expression. Lena turned over to prop herself on her elbows close beside Kara. She seemed lost in concentration, and Kara watched her and waited. Lena worked her lips and seemed a bit stressed. Her eyes met Kara’s.

            “I’m not any good at saying I love you,” Lena said to her in earnest, “But I do.”

            She rested her hand softly on Kara’s side, as she said this. Lena was looking over Kara’s face quite worried, as if Kara might not know this. And Kara lifted her shoulders off the bed and brought her hand to the back of Lena’s neck to bring her directly into a kiss. She kept their mouths together for a long time, then she lay back and remembered Lena’s look of terror when Kara said that she loved her not so long before this. The memory must have stayed with Lena since then.

            “When it comes to love, I think that words are supposed to be an affirmation of what’s already real and known. They’re not the substance. They’re just a nice to receive – a kind of added affection. They’re supposed to reference something, and that’s far more than words. I think love itself is always an action. I feel and know that I am loved by you all the time. No absence of words could ever take any of that away from me,” Kara told her.

            She watched Lena’s eyes grow heavy, and she swallowed. Her eyes were moving over Kara’s face. She smiled only slowly, and Kara smiled in response, even before Lena said anything more.

            “If I trust anyone to know what love is, then it would have to be you,” Lena said.

            “You taught me a lot yourself,” Kara said, “And I am definitely still learning.”

            “Imagine who we could be a few years from now,” Lena said and raised her eyebrows, “If we can manage to survive.”

            “I’m planning on it,” Kara said, a little defiantly, and she gripped her jaw faintly.

            “So am I,” Lena assured her, as if the two of them stood together, confident and quite bold, in spite of every oppositional force in their world.

**Author's Note:**

> For the record, I am dying to meet the day when someone feels compelled to make fanart for one of my fics. And I keep on hoping this will be the ship and the fic, because there are so many talented fan art makers in the Supergirl fandom. We all need dreams.


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